My Husband Turned Me To His Maid

In the video a man had taken a woman to the restaurant and while they ate he started dictating for her what she could or could not do, if she was going to agree to be his woman.

To top it all up it was their first date ever. He said he would not let a woman speak back to him, that he would not stoop so low as to do what a woman wants him to do. He even said he was in charge, that he was going to have to control her if he would be her man.

The woman promptly lost her appetite then she replied that she will never let any man tell her what to do. That was when I stopped watching the video clip. I was so pissed I could not continue watching such trash. The level of patriarchy exhibited by the man was too much for my sane mind to take.

"The truth is human beings all have fleeting fantasies. Sometimes we are very stupid and don't see it. Based on this premise, we need someone, preferably a partner or real friend, to control us somehow and point us to the right direction. Definitely not forcefully please. But control us, yes. Remember, control could be direct or indirect but it is still control. Even though I agree that he said it the wrong way."

"But you cannot want to do anything you want to do on your own or live your life on your own exact terms once you decide to get married or be in a relationship. Once you get married all that single independence shit ends. You no longer live just for yourself or your own happiness. You now live for the happiness of two people and when children start coming, more than two people."

"There are some decisions you would want to make but because your husband has more experience in dealing with it, and you may not know as much as he does, he may tell you not to do it. You as a stubborn human being will put head and boom, trouble, the same goes for the man and this is something you both can avoid."

"If couples can learn to put their ego's aside they may just see the truth in the decision their partner has helped them make. Its not control it's help. Two heads are after all better than one. No one is an island, especially in a marriage or relationship as the case maybe. Listening to your partner and sometimes compromising to their stances is key to a successful relationship. Although there are times you should go through with the decision you've made once you're sure of what you're doing and you know the dividends would pay off in the end. Its just all about being emotionally wise."

"As to whether we need control, it is sometimes necessary. It's as simple as this. So never say that I will never let my partner control me. This goes for both the man and the woman."

I listened to Kuku without saying a word. He was making a point and a very good one of which I totally agreed with him, but not fully with his choice of words.

"Control. Compromise. It's all semantics really." This time it was his time to roll his eyes.

"If the semantics will give you peace then use it." I laughed loving the conversation so much, so much.

I was a heavy drinker so I took longer sips than he did. He noticed this and gave me the reprimanding eye.

"You don't want to get drunk now do you?"

"I won't get drunk dear. Try me and see."

We fell silent again before he continued speaking.

"I do think you're thinking of control in one angle of imposing on somebody what he or she must do or way to behave. That's not totally control."

"So which control are you talking about then?" I asked dropping my wine glass. He watched me from hooded eyes and my skin tingled a bit.

"Control. The whole of it. Direct and indirect

You don't seem to know this but indirect control is the worst type of control. It's worse than the direct control y'all thing is so terrible. The worst thing a person can do to you is to control you indirectly. Many people don't know this."

Now I was intrigued. I definitely wanted to know more. "How do you even control someone indirectly."