Zoe by Miu

"Hi."

"Hi."

I smiled at Lawrence, who was standing in front of my door, holding a box that was oozing of delicious aroma.

It must be food.

"Here, as an apology for the way I acted yesterday." Lawrence handed me the food, and I couldn't help but stare suspiciously at him.

"Don't worry . . . it doesn't have any drugs in it," he said, laughing a bit.

"It's not that, silly. I . . . wanted to tell you something."

"Shoot, what is it?"

Lawrence smiled, and I gave him a timid smile in return.

"Lawrence . . ."

I hesitated and breathed a mouthful of air to calm my nerves.

"I want you to promise me that you won't ever bring our past from now on, and . . . whatever we have in the past is now over, and you won't ever mention anything about it in front of me or anyone else . . . If you promise me this, then . . . I will give you my friendship in return."

". . ."

". . ."

The silence was brutal as the air was tense.

His jaw clenched, a flashed of hurt registered in his eyes before he forced out a smile from his down curved lips.

"Alright, I understand," was all he said.

I breathed a sigh of relief.

I was pondering about what to do and was so close to running away and avoid him –– but a big part of me wasn't willing. Thus, I decided to have a platonic relationship with him.

Just friends.

Maybe that way, I could have both Lawrence and Elliot with me.

Yeah, keep fooling yourself.

I shook away the mocking voice inside my head.

There was nothing I could do to control the overwhelming feelings I have for him that laid dormant for years and burst all at once when I saw him again.

I didn't want to betray Elliot, at the same time, I didn't want to sever ties with Lawrence.

I just can't.

I knew I was unfair. It was why I told these conditions to him. The earlier he knew what we could only become, the better. He should know that all I could offer was friendship and if he was still okay with it, then . . .

"Aw!"

I recoiled when Lawrence flicked my forehead.

"Don't be so serious. I get it. I promise that from now on, I'll be your BFF." He chortled.

I narrowed my eyes at him, which he just scoffed in turn before patting my head. "Come on. I'm starving. Let's eat this while it's hot."

He shoved me aside and went into my unit, completely feeling at home.

I giggled as I shook my head as I followed him.

----

"By the way. What do you want for your birthday?" I asked Lawrence while keeping my eyes glued on the two-meter wide flat screen, all the while, my fingers were pressing multiple buttons on the PS4 controller.

It was already months since Lawrence and I had that truce. And true to his words, he didn't bring the topic about our past as he treated me nothing but a friend.

It was not easy at first, but gradually, we became comfortable in each other's presence.

Of course, I still like him, and I know he likes me too. Nonetheless, we kept the boundary in check.

I didn't even know it was possible to have this kind of relationship with him –– but it worked!

Maybe because neither one of us was willing to let the other go. Even if it were friends, we would accept it, no matter what condition, as long as we remained in each other's life.

I knew it was unfair on Lawrence's part, and I was guilty about it. But he played his part too well and never made me feel that I wronged him.

Of course, these past few months, Elliot wad constantly with me. Though short, whenever he had the chance, he visited me in New Haven. He was also bewildered as to why I had a change of plans –– staying in New Haven much longer than he expected. I said I wanted to settle everything first before roaming the world, which thankfully, he didn't give much thought.

I didn't know how it came about, but Lawrence and Elliot became friends. Elliot wasn't the least bit worried nor jealous that I spend my free time with Lawrence.

Yes.

Elliot knew I was spending most of my free time with Lawrence, watching movies, going to galleries, touring the towns, going to amusement parks, and whatnot.

When it came to Lawrence, I didn't hide anything to Elliot –– except our past.

Elliot dismissed our closeness, thinking Lawrence and I were just friends.

If he only knew.

Lawrence and I did act like friends and nothing out of bounds, which I was thankful for. But even so, I was still feeling guilty and ashamed towards Elliot. It felt so wrong to be with a guy I still have feelings even as just friends while I was in a committed relationship.

But I couldn't stop myself.

I didn't want to sever ties with Lawrence.

"Get your head in the game, cupcake. You're about to lose." Lawrence nudge me with a grin on his face, eyes on the TV screen.

I frowned.

I was really losing to him, and not long after, the KO appeared.

"Another win for me. How many times is it now? Honestly, it's kind of boring winning all the time," Lawrence said, his tone was as cheeky as his grin.

My forehead creased as I pressed the start button once more.

"One more!"

Lawrence shook his head with a smile on his face, but he still obliged me nonetheless.

We were sitting cross-legged on the floor while resting our backs against the sofa. I was in Lawrence and Lance's unit. It already became a second home to me. I was wearing my favorite loose long sleeve shirt and white shorts as I tide my long hair in a loose bun.

While Lawrence was in a simple t-shirt and loose pants.

Come to think of it . . . I never did once saw him in shorts. Not even in his own home.

"The new edition of Benz would be nice."

"What?" I asked and took a glimpsed at him.

"My present. How about you give me a car?"

"Are you crazy?! No way I'm spending that much on you!"

"Stingy! You're so rich, but you won't even give your BFF a car. What kind of a friend are you?"

"The stingy one," I snorted.

And something came into my mind. "Hey, what happened to that gift I gave you four years ago? You know, on your thirteenth birthday."

"Gone," he simply said without even glancing at me.

It was a good thing he was focusing on the screen and didn't notice the tears brimming in my eyes.

I blinked them away.

"You heartless jerk! I put my best effort into making that gift for you. Hmp! Because of that, you won't receive a single gift from me this year."

"You're stingy. Hey! Stop it!" He exclaimed when I blocked his eyes with my hand.

"Hey, you cheater! Stop it!"

"It's not fair that you always win! Let me win!" I said as my hand chased his avoiding eyes.

I laughed when he did the same to me.

I grabbed a pillow and pressed it on his face.

"Zoe! You––!"

I giggled when he pulled the pillow from my hand and pressed it on my face. I stood and grabbed another pillow and threw it in his direction.

Lawrence blocked the pillow before it could even hit him.

"Hey! That's physical abuse! I'll sue you!"

I only laughed as a response and grabbed another, and smashed it on his shoulder.

"Ahahaha! Pillow fight!" I roared and continued to hit him with the pillow.

"Don't go crying if you lose again!" Lawrence chuckled as he hit me with the pillows as well.

The room boomed with our laughter and giggling, running around playing chase with the pillows.

It was a miracle we didn't break anything.

"What the hell are you two doing?!"

We stopped when the annoyed voice of Lance resonated in the room. He was staring at us with a dumbfounded look on his face.

Our eyes bulged when we saw who was behind him, shivering and soaking wet to the bones.

Emery?!