Zoe by Miu

Chapter 31: His Reason

"You're back. Where have you gone too? Breakfast turned cold already," Lance said, not glancing at Lawrence when the latter went inside their unit. He continued to focus his attention on his laptop, researching about something.

Lawrence didn't say anything. He didn't have any energy as he went to his room and locked the door. He jumped on his bed and covered his eyes.

"Too late . . . everything is too late . . ."

He smiled bitterly at himself.

Memories of the past flashed in his mind.

That time in Grand hotel, where he closed a business deal. He could still distinctly remember the first time he laid eyes on her.

He had a lot of crushes at school, but Zoe was the only one who ever made his heart beat like a thousand pounds' gong was strike alternately by two gigantic men.

He remembered how they first met. How her silky smooth skin was so perfect beneath his. How her pink hair scattered around her flushed face. How he was lost in her deep blue eyes trying to uncover the mystery within.

He smiled and couldn't help but touch his lips. He distinctly remembered how he kissed her for the first time. It was clumsily done. Both of them didn't have any experience until it became so natural. Her lips were so soft, and it felt so good against his.

How many times did he lost himself in those peach blossomed scent of hers?

He sighed and shifted his body to the side.

It was love at first touch.

He fell in love the first time they touched. It sent countless of jolts inside him, electrifying everything within him, waking everything in excitement to explore her.

Only she could arouse that kind of reaction from him.

It was never his intention to leave like that. He watched and watched her until she would wake up. But couldn't contain his curiosity, he called the reception and ask for her name which the reception hesitantly gave to him. The receptionist, at first, didn't want to, but since he now owned five percent share of the hotel, he, in turn, was her employer. Thus she had no choice but to answer what he asked.

Zoe Collin

He could even taste the sweet peaches just mentioning her name.

He searched and hacked some information about her.

Ever since their sister taught them computers, it was him who was so hooked. He was hungry to learn everything about this technology.

When he finally hacked her information, he couldn't help but frown. He didn't expect that Zoe came from an influential family –– a powerful background.

Compared to him.

A small kid in a small country in an unknown province.

At that time, he had nothing to offer her.

Ninety percent of their money was invested, and though their earnings would double or quadruple –– it would take some time.

And there and then, he decided to left her alone –– for now.

He wanted to be successful.

To become a man worthy of her.

To be the man she could be proud of.

So he left, but not until promising to come back. However, he didn't expect their meeting was going to be so soon.

He saw her once more on the day their sister got hurt.

He couldn't believe how the world could be so small.

He was busy in those months after he left her at that hotel. He had a new goal. He racked his brains on how to become successful much early on. He had to be worthy of her and fast.

That was why he didn't have any more news about her. He restrained himself from finding out more since he was worried he would go to her at the slightest bit of information. Hence he didn't know his sister was her best friend.

He was ecstatic at their meeting again. An overwhelming feeling of joy, happiness, excitement battled inside of him.

That year was the greatest joy and sadness of his life. Joy, because it was the year that he confirmed that Zoe indeed liked him. At that time, they shared something special. Only the two of them understood. But he didn't dare make it official.

He still didn't deserve her.

He was not worthy enough to stand by her side.

It was also that year he tasted his first heart-shattering goodbye –– the year of their parting.

"At that time . . . I shouldn't have let her go . . . ," he whispered.

He didn't want to.

He wanted to tell her that all of his dreams, exploring the world, included her, but he was too embarrassed to say it. He was not even sure if Zoe would go with him, exploring the depth of the ocean and getting lost in the jungle.

He wanted to tell her to wait for him.

Wait for him to get older and be worthy enough for her.

. . . but he couldn't . . .

He couldn't be unfair to her.

She deserves to be free.

He didn't want to tie her to him. Especially in a long-distance relationship.

He didn't want her to wait for him.

He wanted her to be happy.

Therefore, even if he wasn't willing, he let her go.

"You came at the wrong time . . ."

He tried to collect his thoughts.

Trying to calm his nerves.

In the past years, he had done nothing but to be worthy of her. At least, the same status as her. So if she introduced him, she wouldn't have to be ashamed.

Everything he did today.

The success.

The wealth.

The fame . . .

. . . was all because of her.

. . . and yet . . .

"I was too late . . ."

Their wealth and fame could rival the Collin's now, but Zoe was still going further and further away from him.

He couldn't help a tear escaping from his eyes.

"Zoe . . . I'm not willing . . ."

He then turned and hugged his pillow to comfort himself.

"As I thought . . . I can't accept this . . ."

He clutched the soft pillow until his fingers turned white.

"You belong to me . . ."

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