This Delusional Voice Keeps Telling Me I’m a Villain

At the Streets of Natcheil

Translated by: chocolala
Proofread by: Kitje

Even after a long time away from Natcheil, the town was still as busy as ever. Many people were coming and going, and goods were being carried. 

The largest road in Natcheil, the Cartier Boulevard, was crowded with stalls selling all sorts of goods, accessories, groceries and spices. There were also stalls for the general public, causing the air around to smell delicious.

In the middle of it all, Theodore and I were walking together… Hand in hand.

“Don’t get distracted. Give me your hand.”

Being told that, I held hands with Theodore. I actually hadn’t had much experience of holding hands with people, so I was a bit nervous.

“Urschel, over here.”

“Uh, okay…”

We waded through the crowds together. Status was irrelevant here in Natcheil. Being a duke didn’t mean that you would be given priority or that people would clear the way for you. The only distinction that existed was between the buyer and the seller.

I held Theodore’s hand tightly so we wouldn’t get separated, and we went on together.

“Hey, look, I’m not going to ask you where we’re going. Just tell me which way to go.”

“West.”

“How can I know from only that. I can’t even tell north from south in this crowd,” I chuckled.  

Anyway, I knew that Theodore wanted to keep it a secret from me until the last minute. Theodore then turned left from the main road and into a small alley. 

…Oh, I’ve never been here.

The place was lined with eateries, laundries, greengrocers, shoeshines and other shops for the common people. It was not a place for aristocrats to pop in. It was a place where the commoners would come every day.

The truth is, I had never seen the life of a commoner before, so I looked around curiously. But I wondered what brought Theodore to this place.  

Theodore led the way through the crowded marketplace. Theodore was taller than me, and when he walked in front of me, his back seemed to look much bigger than usual. 

…Eh, I don’t remember Theodore being this big.

Theodore then grabbed my hand and we arrived at a liquor store that could have been anywhere in the city.

It was really a liquor store that could be found anywhere. Then we entered this ever so common store…

But, it was no common liquor store. Once the door opened, what I saw was… 

Outside it was a fine, clear, blue sky… But inside, an expansive night sky spread out above while orange glowing lanterns floated in the sky; it was such a magical place.

“Welcome, Mr. Theodore.” 

A man dressed in fancy clothes, who looked like an employee, bowed to us as we walked in.  Theodore spoke plainly to the man, “Number three, hail on the edge, nine-eighths of a mile, spring mountains on the water.” 

At first thought, his words didn’t make sense, but the staff seemed to know what it meant and so he consented.

“Yes. Confirmed. I’ll have it ready right away. We’ll show you to your seats.”

The staff guided the way for Theodore and me, our hands still connected.  

The night sky was gleaming, the lanterns lit the way, and the floor was clearly solid, but with each step, it glowed, creating white coloured waves of water.

Wow, what is this…!

Then, from the far side of the sky, several white butterflies fluttered, their silvery scales shimmering.

I’ve never seen anything like it! What is this?

Theodore smiled at me who was constantly surprised.

“This restaurant was created by a famous magician after his retirement. It’s a magic restaurant.”

“Ma-Magic restaurant?”

“The whole restaurant is made up of illusions constructed by magic.”

“Whoa! So amazing! I didn’t know there was such a place! How did you know about it?”

Apparently, this magic restaurant was recently opened. This area was dominated by shops for ordinary people, but there were also a lot of amusement restaurants pretending to be ordinary shops, making them a hidden attraction spot. 

But most of the time, these restaurants didn’t allow walk-in customers; only people who were recommended by their friends or acquaintances of the owner and manager.

Of course, by appointment only.

As part of identification, passwords were needed in order to enter the shop. This was the real deal! 

“Theodore, how did you get to know this place?” 

“It just happened… The owner came to listen to my lecture, so we became acquainted, and he got me a seat the other day.”

The food was utterly incredible. 

The starter was a snow salad of dancing vegetables, with the warm vegetables dancing around in a snow-like dressing. I had to chase them around with my fork to eat them, but they were so fast. It was as though the vegetables had legs with muscles of a horse’s, and although they never left the plate, they were too fast to catch. 

“Oh, another has got away again.”

“There you go.”

""

“Wow! Thank you, Theodore!”

The potherb mustard, the corn, the herbs, they were all very fast, but with Theodore, he only took a second. He quickly and nimbly skewered them with a fork and handed them to me.

The next dish was mermaid soup… It was not exactly a mermaid in soup. How it worked was that a mermaid came near our table, sang a song and the soup changed its colour and taste according to seven different colours. 

Very well designed! 

I couldn’t help but comment on the taste to Theodore with excitement, “Spinach! Corn! Carrots! It’s amazing how the flavours change so quickly! It’s so much fun to taste in my mouth! Theodore!” 

“Yeah, Urschel. You only have one spoonful left of your soup.”

“Oh, I got carried away, I’ve gobbled them up! I’ll eat slowly!”

The main course was a typical beef steak, but what I saw in front of my eyes was… 

Dragon. Was. Roasting. Meat! 

As soon as the staff put the grill out on the table, we were told to put on goggles and a fire suit that covered the upper half of our bodies. I wondered what it was all about, but then a dragon over 3 metres long came to our table and cooked the meat in front of us with his fiery dragon breath.

SO HUGE! SO AMAZING! SO BADASS! 

I’d only heard of dragons from my mother, so before I ate my steak, which was cooked to perfection, I asked permission to touch the dragon.

“Theodore! Theodore! The scales! They’re shiny, they’re cool to the touch, and they’re giant.”

“I see… Oh, and don’t touch the bottom of its throat.”

“Why?”

“There’s a reverse scale there… If you touch it, you’ll be turned into charcoal.”

“You gotta be kidding me!” I instantly took my hand away from the dragon. Oh no, I couldn’t mess with the reverse scale.

This restaurant is truly too much fun! Awesome! I’ve been surprised throughout the day! This day has been full of fun and unusual things; it makes me super excited!!

After a delicious main course, I figured it was time for dessert, but there…

“Urschel. Here you go.” Theodore brought out a large box from somewhere and put it on the desk. 

It was a white box that looked like it could hold a person and had a big ribbon on the lid… 

Ah, this is—

“The one I used at Theodore’s birthday party?”

“Or, more accurately, a look-alike.”

“That brings back memories. I can remember it like it was yesterday.”

Even though I wasn’t used to it at that time, I managed to pull off a very memorable surprise party for Theodore.

Oh, could it be the reason why Theodore kept the restaurant a secret from me was…

“As a surprise in return for the other day?” I asked. 

Theodore then looked away; the expression on his face looked as though he was rather embarrassed.

“Well, that’s about it.”

As Theodore said those words, he opened the box, and from inside, a light popped out, and the restaurant, which used to be a night sky, was suddenly transformed into a rose garden. The sky was blue and the rose hedges surrounding the tables smelled of sweet roses. The floating lanterns became the pillars of the pavilion, and before we knew it we were having tea in the middle of a rose garden.

While I was amazed by my surroundings, the box in front of me on the desk began to get smaller and smaller, and then, a tea stand with silverware, teapots, cups and small cookies stacked on top of each other popped out of the box… The small box was then transformed into a cake box containing ten different cakes arranged in a circle.

“Wow!” I burst into applause. 

Even if this was magic, it was super amazing! The rose garden was simply beautiful and the cakes looked delicious! I would rather not believe that this was an illusion!

Theodore smiled with satisfaction as he said, “I’m glad if this made you happy.” 

“How could I not be pleased? Can I have some?”

“Yeah.”

""

Then, I’m digging in! SO DELICIOUS! 

“I’m so happy~”

This shop also had delicious cakes, what an awesome restaurant! I’d surely be a regular. 

Oh, this is so good, sweets are the best!

“Urschel.”

“Hmmm?” (I don’t know how to make this sound cute, the raw is like “Naaani?”)

“It’s smeared.”

Hm? What smeared? I was stumped there and suddenly Theodore’s fingers wiped the whipped cream off my lips and… 

Theodore licked the cream off his fingers.

“Th-Theodore?!”

“What is it?”

“No, not ‘what is it’…”

""

Seeing Theodore who ate the cream that was smeared on the corner of my mouth—or more accurately, his mildly sensual expression—my face got hot.

Theodore truly is a beautiful guy, isn’t he…?

Everything he did, basically was as beautiful as a painting… So cool. That was why my heart surprisingly thumped, just by seeing him lick the cream with his red tongue peeking out.

I popped a piece of cake into my mouth to stop my face from turning red. It was sweet and delicious, but more than that, I just couldn’t bring myself to look at Theodore at this moment.

chocolala: Theodore’s first step in making Urschel his: bring Urschel to a date at a wonderful place with wonderful food but most importantly, yummy cakes! Not just one, but ten!