The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guys!

What do you do when you are surrounded by 8 angry…water mages (?) on frogs? 

I can't just ask them to forgive us for possessing the body of their friend, right? Yes, he totally deserved it but still. I wonder...

"What's up, mates? I'm Damien aye! Shall we go treasure hunting, y'all?! What are we waiting, eh?"

He is still going?! Brother, they've clearly seen through your bad acting! I think I know what is happening. I'm starting to believe he truly used to be some bigshot in the past. 

If some really powerful guy is that insistent, you just go with the flow to keep your head attached to your shoulders! 

His acting skills? None! I think he simply intimidates his opponents into playing the fools! Now the issue is that these guys have no idea that he's supposedly strong…so yeah. 

"He has Damien's clothes and frog! He has clearly killed him! Get revenge for our dead companion!"

"Die, you evil impersonator!"

That is when they all start condensing water in their hands. I can see it swirling faster and faster until it looks like long 1-meter-long water arrows! That is when my friend finally acts.

"*Scoff* I was trying to do this the easy way, but you guys wouldn't cooperate. Now you've done it! Take this: Ultimate Heavenly Profound Return to the Prime Origin State!"

At first, I'm expecting some amazing move, so are the enemies as they launch their onslaught aiming for all his vitals! I can see the deadly magical projectiles getting propelled with incredible momentum! 

That is when my friend completes his technique! *Woosh* ….and it's so disappointing! Return to the Origin bullshit? He just undresses!  That's all he freaking does!

*CRASH!* 

That's when all that magic collides with his body, direct hit! There is so much water that it instantly creates some vapor upon impact. The water cloud cools off instantly and creates a white mist engulfing him completely. 

How am I able to describe this to perfection as if an external spectator? Well, it's a bit embarrassing but I fell off the frog at some point. That is when the enemies finally turn their sight toward me. 

[Eh, hey guys? How about we talk first? I'm really not in the mood to fight…] 

"*Scoff* you think we'll let trash like you live? No matter what you were clearly in cahoots here, you should have run away instead. Well, it can't be helped coming from a stupid villager!"

[What's with all the dissing? Also, why are you guys acting like you've got everything under control?] 

They don't seem to understand the meaning of my words. I can see them laughing, I can see them looking down on me. I can feel their scorn and arrogance. That is when the white mist around my friend finally clears out. He emerges out of it unscarred. 

"Didn't you guys say something about killing me?  Well, that was a nice bath, I guess."

Their faces change, it's as if they've seen a ghost. Well, he kinda is really. 

First, the body under the hood is truly their friend and not a failure of an impostor as they initially assumed. 

Second, they cannot believe anyone has survived their spell barrage. 

Third, he's proudly swinging the rod between his legs while taunting them. 

This whole combination is enough to render them all speechless. It seems as if their brains cannot process what they are seeing. That is when one hesitantly throws another water lance at him, but it doesn't wield any result whatsoever. 

"Y-you! W-what are you?!" 

"Hehe, I am the one and only Naked Emperor! Now, bow before my magnificence!"

"He's clearly making fun of us! Kill that guy!!" 

It seems they all agree with that one angry dude. Starts another volley even more intense this time. At this point, I'm just sitting by the side twiddling my thumbs wondering when they'll finally give up.  They are bound to at some point, right? Right?! 

It seems to me like these guys are pretty stupid really. I could see many ways to deal with the situation. They could trap him in a water cage, they could target the ground under his feet until he's stuck in the mountain, they could use their magic to push him off the mountain. 

Yet, the only thing they are doing is sending straightforward attacks that are clearly proving useless. These guys not only have water in their hands, but also in their brains! Now my friend is just doing the helicopter with…

"HAHAHA, you guys think you can defeat me? I am invincible, I am the one and only…"

"He's right, he's not taking any damage! Ah, I know! Old man if you don't leave far away now we'll kill your friend instead!"

I can see them all light up as if they had finally found a lifeline in the complete darkness of their lives. 

"Yes! You better do as we say or…!"

"Kill my friend? Go ahead! I don't actually think you guys are able to do it. If you do manage to hurt him, maybe I'll be able to convince him to accept me as his master hahaha!"

"He's bluffing! Show him how serious we are!" 

That screaming guy sends a water ball my way. What's with the ball? Did they get tired of the arrows? It doesn't look powerful in the slightest…As it comes near me, I slap it away…yep that sure was easy. 

"H-how?!" 

He then sends some more balls and arrows! The more it goes the more intense it becomes! I can see the madness in his eyes. The madness of a man realizing that the power he has trained all his life for is now proving useless. 

Finally, he does one huge water spell while cackling before throwing it with all his might! Except…since it's just a straightforward attack my divine energy is enough to defend me. 

He watches in horror as I don't even react to the insane quantity of magical water impacting me. That is when he finally can't seem to take it and loses consciousness. What?! 

"Crap! How is this possible?! The first one is a monster, the second one is even more of a monster?! Wait..! They were on that frog earlier, kill it and let's run!"

That is when clearly occur animal cruelty. Two frogs get shredded instantly under a deadly magical rain. Then they simply turn around and control their own frogs to leave, hopping faster and faster away. 

[That's it?! These guys are pretty horrible aren't they?] 

"Yep, quite dumb if I might add too!"

We can't help but glance at the one unconscious guy that they left behind. 

[At this rate he'll simply freeze to death, right?] 

"Yep, not our problem either. Now, let's go after them, shall we?" 

*Sigh* We are far from my genius infiltration plan….