The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guys!

The last few days have been amazing! 

Everything is going my way. 

No sign of trouble whatsoever. 

I have been baking all this time. 

Getting more and more customers. 

For some reason, there has been a rumor going on about people getting breakthroughs after eating here. 

How ridiculous is that?! 

When I heard such a crazy claim, I had no choice but to conscientiously write a sign saying these are only rumors and should not be trusted at all. 

Somehow it made things worse. 

Well better in fact. 

The ones that thought this was a marketing ploy got curious. 

Then they kept coming back. 

Something about the effect only showing in the bakery itself. 

In turn, people have been reserving a seat in advance. 

Foolish, but paying customers, nonetheless. 

I also received my pay from the Mystery Gems House. 

Surprisingly a lot. 100 gold total. 

Enough for 100 000 pies! 

Well, less if you count that I am now selling pies for 1-5 silver depending on how long people take to eat them. 

10-50 times the price is insane? 

No, what's insane is that people are still paying. 

I feel like this is a super placebo effect. 

People see this really awesome furniture and expect something magical to happen haha. 

Now I regret encouraging that elf to follow her dreams. 

I could be opening many branches right now. 

*Sigh*

What can I say, I am too handsome and inspiring it can't be helped. 

I toil all day until closing time. 

That is when I see a familiar face approach. 

My thief friend. 

"Hey, I thought you had left the city!" 

[I thought I had to, to be honest. Turns out it was just a misunderstanding. Can you believe it?] 

"If it's you, yes haha. I heard about how well your business has been going. How about a drink to celebrate?" 

[Oh? Are you trying to make me drunk to take advantage of me?] 

He gives a slight apologetic smile.

"Look, I'm sorry about abandoning you earlier. It's just there was nothing really I could do." 

[No worries. I'm not blaming you.] 

"Then are you forgiving me?" 

[Sure, if you are treating haha.] 

"Alright, haha. Ah, how can one be so rich and so stingy at the same time? This is impressive!"

We depart and reach the same tavern we first went to. 

As soon as I enter there is a general panic from all the employees.

They start frenetically pointing at me.

"It's him! He's back! Quick! Inform the owner!"

"Quick! Run to the back store!"

Then an obvious newcomer waitress asks. 

"What?! What?! Why are you guys freaking out?"

They all point at a wall while running away. 

What the hell?!

On the said wall is a big poster of my face. 

[Wow, what is even written on it?] 

"HAHAHAHAHA! Something about how you are a calamity for the tavern! Remember the last time we came here?" 

[Well, yeah but they could have just given me a refund to start with. I would have taken it. Am I some kind of unreasonable individual?] 

"I wouldn't say unreasonable, more that your existence itself is plain unbelievable haha."

[How harsh!] 

"Brother, I don't even know where to even start. I'm doubting you are even human, to be honest."

[*Sigh* It is a curse to be too handsome.] 

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Oh my god, I just can't! …wait you were serious?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA."

Soon afterward the tavern owner comes and regrettably informs us that the tavern is sadly out of alcohol. 

Also that they have no more food. 

Meanwhile, there are customers obviously getting served in the background. 

I simply point at them. 

The guy coughs loudly. 

Signaling them to hide all the food and drinks. 

Brother…I'm not blind…

[Whatever let's go to another tavern.] 

"Sure…"

Seeing the relief of the owner he seems as if he was just granted amnesty. 

Wow, just wow. 

Before long we encounter another tavern. 

One with a drinking fish on the sign. 

I feel like this should only be used for a port city. 

The place seems extremely small. 

"Oh, you don't want to enter this one. It is the worst of them all."

[How bad can it be?] 

"Extremely fucking bad."

[I'm almost curious to see it for myself now…] 

"Sure but I won't be drinking anything. It is horrid."

As we enter, we see a completely desolate interior. 

There is only a sleeping bartender at the counter. 

[Why is he sleeping?! How unprofessional!] 

"No, according to the reputation of this place it would be a wonder if he was awake instead."

[That bad?] 

"There is a saying. Between piss and the drinking fish's beer the former is preferable. They both taste the same but at least with one you won't have a hangover."

[Wow.] 

"Yep, shall we leave then?" 

[Nope, I kinda want to see how bad it is for myself.] 

He shrugs helplessly. 

[*Cough Cough* Excuse me, bartender!]

I shake him a bit. 

He slowly raises his eyes. 

Looks at the surroundings. 

Then he instantly gives us directions for the nearest tavern.

Then he simply goes back to sleep. 

I can't help but shake him again. 

This time he gives me the directions to the nearest merchant guild.

I shake him again.

Then he goes…

"What do you want?! Just let me sleep in peace!" 

[How about a beer….] 

He raises up in shock.

Looking confused for a second. 

Then he cleans his ears.

"Come again?" 

[What kind of beers do you have?] 

"We only have the special blend." 

[What would that be?] 

"Honestly a miracle. Somehow our boss manages to use all worthy ingredients to create the most disgusting mixture ever." 

[How is he even making a profit then?!] 

"Profit? What's that?" 

[No way!] 

My thief friend is giggling in the background. 

Showing an I told you expression. 

[So somehow his special blend is unpalatable, but doesn't present any health danger, right?] 

"Well, it provokes non-stop vomiting. Mostly because of the taste. It also leaves anyone that drinks it listless for a while. Every one of his recipes too."

[How many did he try?] 

"I've lost count. This is why I just sleep nowadays. Hey, at least he's a good boss."

[He pays you even when not a single sale is done?] 

"Indeed. At this point, it's not for lack of trying and he knows it."

[Then why is he even keeping this place open?] 

"Ah, he uses the basement to brew everything."

I see. So this place is more of a workshop than anything. 

Still, I wonder who the madman that…

"Hey! Your wonderful boss is back! How has business been!" 

Guess I'll know…