The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guys!

****(POV)

I can't help but sigh as I make my way back home. 

My mood is hard to describe. 

I am sad about the commander. 

I am glad that the expert saw worth in me. 

I guess it is life. 

I arrive at my destination. A grandiose manor. 

A maid instantly welcomes me warmly. 

A beautiful and youthful lady. 

Full of spirit and drive. 

She escorts me to my room for me to change. 

She's about to enter and undress as usual, but I stop her. 

Tell her that I have things to do. 

To her grand stupefaction. 

I also tell her to send a message to the Mystery Gems House. 

For that attendant not to wait for me. 

That I will be too busy in the future. 

I quickly adorn a new garment and make my way toward the training room. 

One that I haven't frequented for the last two years. 

A very small room at the core of the residence. 

I unlock the many locks in place and enter it. 

Inside the air is heavy. 

Choked full of mana. 

All from a treasure placed in the center. 

Something that most people cannot afford. 

Inside, is a stern man gathering mana while sitting on an exquisite chair. 

A man ever so serious. 

My father. 

For him, any show of emotion a weakness. 

For as long as I can remember he never showed me love nor care. 

That was my mother's job. 

Ah, also the maids. 

When she passed away, he did not care. 

The only reason I even exist is that he expected a talented progeniture. 

He was extremely disappointed. 

I never had a talent for the arts. 

Neither magic nor physical training. 

Oh, I can defend myself against a rank 2 easily. 

Anyone stronger I can't handle, however. 

That is why I turned to appraisal. 

Then later to women. 

"*Expressionless* You are back." 

I simply nod. 

He is facing away from me, but he can still feel the movement. 

He is a rank 4 warrior after all. 

"How was he?"

"Who?" 

"Don't play dumb. Teacher. Also is that a way to speak to me?"

"My lord, if I said good, would you believe me?"

"No." 

I sit and start gathering and circulating mana. 

Magical training indirectly helps appraisal. 

It gives a very slight edge. 

It may be the difference between 65% rate and 66% rate. 

In normal cases, I wouldn't have bothered. 

But right now I wish to break through my limits. 

I'm expecting the conversation to be over, but instead he asks:

"What do you think of it?"

"Him dying? It is regrettable and a heavy loss for the city my lord."

He shakes his head. 

"No, he is nothing but an old man now. We lost him the day he lost his power."

How heartless!

Then again it doesn't surprise me from my father. 

He is one that married my mother only to attain power. 

That is simply how he sees life. 

The useful and the worthless. 

"There are many that cling to the old ways. 

That cling to the past. 

Working as if it was still the present. 

But there is a war coming. 

One that will be merciless and unpredictable. 

The peace days are over. 

At this rate, we will all perish." 

Casualties are inevitable in a war. 

Still, we have the whole system to protect us. 

It would take an army to destroy what we have here."

"My lord, are you worried about external threats?" 

"External and internal! 

We have lost the essence of Compromis. 

The god of diplomacy. 

Also called the god of contracts. 

This city has turned into one where we try to please everyone. 

No matter where they come from. 

No matter how useful they are. 

This is a mistake. 

There are too many gangrenous elements. 

We need to get rid of them all. 

Do you understand boy?"

Do I understand? Yes. 

Do I agree? Not at all. 

Sometimes I wish the gods would be more vocal about their desires. 

There are so many conflicts that stem from their believers trying to please them. 

Yet we never receive an answer. 

"The sooner the old man dies the better. 

His death will mark the end of an era. 

We will then be able to only keep the elements that matter.

The most powerful and useful ones. 

It will be hard, but worth it. 

Make sure you train for this day."

I simply nod. 

He sighs. 

"Honestly, I had given up on you. 

For I do not care about a worthless son that lazes around all day. 

I'm glad to see you finally came to your senses.

But the remaining time is short. 

Keep training your magic instead of that ridiculous appraisal. 

For there are big changes coming. 

Only the strong will survive.  "

Then he stops speaking and resumes training. 

As much as I want to criticize him…he has a point. 

There is a tumultuous era coming. 

Many will die. 

Entire sects and cities will rise and fall. 

Blood will flow. 

There is no way to simply avoid it. 

We may even have to raise an army.

All that will take many resources. 

The old man himself said it. 

Extending his life not worth it. 

I can't help but question myself. 

How well can an appraiser fare in such times? 

Not well I'm guessing. 

Is morality accessory in times of war? 

I can't deny it being a possibility.

Still, I can't help but chuckle internally. 

While all of this is happening that guy is just baking. 

Somehow the commander doesn't stop him either. 

I may be biased because I have grown up listening to his exploits…

But I trust the commander to be a wise man. 

How does one even reconcile the two? 

The rational and logical part. 

The optimist and inspired one. 

What do I wish to do? 

Train and become a sub-par mage?

Possibly survive what is to come. 

Or simply follow the path I have started on? 

Appraisal has a special place in my heart. 

It is what made me forget all my worries. 

Allowed me to go through the hard times. 

Gave meaning to my life. 

I truly wish to feel that again. 

A sense of purpose. 

Yes. 

I have decided. 

So what if my father disowns me. 

So what if I become a joke. 

So fucking what! 

I feel great!

I will follow my own path. 

That is when I can feel the mana circulation going faster. 

I have broken through. 

It seems it wasn't a problem of talent.

No, it was a problem of heart. 

Of a lack of resolve. 

It was the last shackle binding me. 

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" 

"Did you just breakthrough?" 

"Yes I did. Yes I did, old man."

"Is that a way to talk to your father?!"

"*Chuckle* Let's not kid ourselves.

You haven't been a father. A patron at best.

I am leaving now. To pursue appraisal.

Only that. Later!"

As I am leaving I can hear him calling me trash. 

So what! 

It may not be the wisest and safest choice. 

But I won't regret it. 

No matter what!