The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guys!

I bring my companions toward a small very specific church. 

Yep, the motherfucking church of Gluto. 

As usual, Nomzilla is just sitting on his ass doing nothing at all. 

Not that I can tell where it starts and end exactly. 

As soon as I enter, he can smell the pies. 

Like a dog. 

"I see you brought food!"

[I am here to make a deal.] 

"Oh? Go ahead."

[I need your help with something. I'll give you all these pies in exchange.] 

"These are clearly different than usual. What's the secret ingredient?"

[It wouldn't be a secret if I told you now, would it?] 

"Fair enough. Now, what would I have to do? I am busy you see."

[Busy lazing around?]

"Eating too!"

Sometimes I wonder if he worships the Sloth God too haha. 

I whisper exactly what I need him to do. 

He grins and agrees instantly. 

We leave right after. 

Before long we are in front of the gates of the Untainted Sect. 

"Y-you, what are you guys intending to do?!" 

I gently wave at them. 

[Hey guys! I came back to kneel for a month!] 

"What the hell is this?!" 

[Him? A friend. He will stay with me to give me courage.] 

"Get away you disgusting…thing!" 

[Hey! Watch your language! My friend will get sad!] 

"No seriously I don't care. I want to eat."

I throw the pies at him. 

Judging by the blissful sounds he is making he is enjoying it. 

"This is the best thing I have ever eaten."

[Seriously?! In all your life?!] 

"Indeed!"

Oh my god! 

Wait?! 

Does that mean I have already achieved my goal of baking the perfect pie! 

All this guy ever does is eat all day! 

Yet he gave such high praise! 

This is so damn awesome. 

I can't wait and tell the old man. 

How proud will he be?!

Ah! Should I also make a trip to the border town? 

Zero's mom is the one that taught me that art in the first place. 

Ah, I feel good. 

So good that I just feel like going home. 

Ah, but there is something I must do. 

I turn to the Spice guy. 

[Did you hear that?! Please help me secure more spices! No matter what!] 

"I-I'll talk to my alchemist friend."

Sounds a little uncertain but at least he didn't outright deny it. 

I plop down on the ground happily in a meditative posture.

If I'm not mistaken, this whole situation will be over soon. 

A guard rushed inside to report. 

Eh, good.

Not long afterward I see the lady from before exit. 

"You villain how dare you taunt us like so!"

Time to act innocent!

[I have no clue what you are talking about?]

"Get that disgusting Gluto follower away from here! Then destroy your shop and kneel until you die!"

[I already am kneeling! Is my posture not good enough? I am already trying my best! As for my friend I cannot order him.] 

"If this is kneeling then I am a monkey!" 

[Oh wow, who knew.  I thought you were human. Explains a lot.] 

"Y-you! I'll make you regret this!" 

She leaves again. 

So far 100% of these guys are completely stupid. 

How did they not offend other powers and get destroyed yet? 

Ah, maybe it's because I'm a simple baker that she is that bold. 

Before long she comes back with some people from city hall. 

"It's them! They are disruptive and heinous!" 

Ah, it's little Li! 

*Wave!* 

"Why is it always you?! Seriously! You do know I have other things to do right?!" 

*Shrug*

[I'm just kneeling here as they asked.]

"*Sigh* What will it take to make you leave?"

[You see their leader himself asked me to do that. I am not here to cause trouble.] 

I can see her facepalm. 

Meanwhile, many concerned neighbors are coming out to check what is going on.

Somehow, they seem angry, also distressed a bit.

Their little paradise just turned into one with some grotesque view. 

Now that I think about it, should I ask Nomzilla to hang around every single competing bakery? 

That would be a bit too cruel. 

Before long a well-dressed clearly annoyed man comes out. 

"You! What do you want?" 

[*Sigh* Are you their leader?] 

"I am, now hurry up and leave. We'll forget the whole matter and you just need to remove the abomination at your bakery."

Both Little Li and Spice guy seem to agree on this being a good course of action. 

I can see my artist friend being unresolved to it, but he doesn't speak up.

Probably in consideration of me. 

[Hell no! 

You want me to take it down? 

Let's make this fair. 

I will! 

You just have to take down this mansion of yours!]

He growls. 

"You! What did you say?" 

I'll antagonize them so hard with this but who cares. 

[You heard me. 

I do not care a single bit about your god. 

You can worship whoever you want.

But I won't change my bakery to obey your whims!

What my friend painted is a masterpiece!]

"Boy, you do not know who you are offending right now. 

We may be small in this city, but the world is vast you know. 

What do you think will happen to you once you leave it?" 

[I don't know. But I know what will happen to you in this city.]

"Are you threatening me?!" 

[Of course not! We are upright individuals. We will hold a peaceful protest here.] 

"What are you even talking about?" 

[Simple we will remain right in front of your front door.

We will eat. 

We will laugh. 

We will gamble.

We will draw, especially you. 

I all kinds of interesting poses. 

In all kinds of interesting situations. 

We will give said drawings to any passerby. 

All because we are generous and kind. 

We will stay here as long as it takes. 

Until this place gets known as a cradle of vice. 

Until this place gets renowned as the most tainted one in the city. 

You know what too? 

All thanks to this great anti-crime system you will have no choice but to watch. 

Day after day. 

Don't worry we won't be selfish either. 

We will welcome any and all of your members to join us. 

Don't you think this sounds like a great idea?!] 

I finish my speech with a smile and a wink. 

Now, how will he react?