The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guys!

[Then kindly shut the fuck up!] 

"Y-you! How dare you?!" 

[Does that mean you are here simply to cause trouble?] 

"Your very shop is a blasphemy! I will make sure it gets destroyed!"

Then she turns around and leaves angrily. 

[What is even her problem?] 

The unicorn artist shyly explains. 

"E-eh I think she doesn't like our painting very much."

I turn around. 

That's when I see it. 

The front of the bakery has something incredible on it. 

Picture the lewdest art you can think of. 

Ahegao face and all that. 

Tongue out. 

Saliva dripping. 

A cute girl clearly enjoying herself. 

A bit too much. 

What is she doing? 

Well eating a steamy hot pie. 

Nothing else. 

They somehow managed to create the ultimate barely not H-art. 

The sketchy artist continues.

"Hehe, telling us to do whatever we wanted might have been a mistake HAHAHAHA."

[I love it! Good job!] 

"S-seriously?!"

"What?! I wanted to see you regret and squirm then ask me to change it!" 

[Brother, what kind of fetish do you even have?!] 

"?!" 

"No comment haha. Still, now what are you going to do about the lady from before?"

[I mean who is she even?] 

The Spice Guy comes forward. 

That's how I'll nickname my salesgirl's brother from now on. 

"I can perhaps help. She should belong to the Untainted Sect. They only have a small branch in this city."

[Who are they even?] 

"They are a sect that reveres the Purity God."

[Let me guess. It is an all-female sect where they must preserve their virginity to keep their powers?]

"Well about the virgin part yes. But they also have male members."

[Seriously?!] 

"Indeed."

[Why are people even joining?] 

"For power as it is the case with most sects."

[Gambling? Alcohol? Drugs?] 

"They ban all of that."

[Sounds like a horrible place. They make any other sect look interesting then.] 

"It is not very popular here, but they have a lot of influence elsewhere on the continent."

[I see, so she took offense to an innocent drawing?] 

"Seems like it. This may bring you trouble if you don't deal with it." 

[What would you suggest?] 

"Repaint the place and act as if it was never there in the first place. They won't have anything to complain about then."

[So you are telling me to conform to their sick mentality?]

"Well, if you want to avoid a fight yes." 

[Tell me more about them. What motivates them?] 

"They want to make sure the city remains as pure as possible. Frankly, this is a lost battle considering the number of sects there are here."

[Hehe, they are worried about appearances, eh?] 

The shy artist chimes in. 

"What are you planning?!"

[Something fun. Can any of you guide me to their base?] 

"Is it fine if I leave? I'd rather not be implicated."

[Go ahead haha. What about you guys?] 

"I'll follow along since I'm curious."

"I'll remain here to sell pies since it's my job!" 

"Seems fun, I'm kinda curious how you'll deal with them. Plus it's kinda my fault you are in this trouble in the first place."

He is surprisingly loyal for a sketchy artist haha.

I turn to the Spice guy. 

[But first thing first, can I get some of that spice?]

"I really don't think it's a good idea to…"

[Please!] 

"Fine, but don't let anyone else recklessly eat it. Some people can't stomach it and get sick. I do have the antidote, but I need to be there to administer it in case." 

[Ah, don't worry. I know what an allergic reaction is. I'll be careful.] 

He looks a bit perplexed, but whatever. 

I head inside and quickly bake some pies with these.

I put them aside and instruct my saleswoman not to eat or sell them.

Then I come out again. 

[Alright! Guide the way! Let's try and resolve things peacefully first!] 

They both nod and we get in motion. 

Before long we reach what can only be described as a small white manor. 

Situated in the rich part of the city.

There seem to be many bigshots living here. 

[What happened to the purity? What happened to being a small branch? This is surprisingly big!] 

"Well, that's all it really has going for it. All the disciples live here too. Most sects have a lot of members residing outside." 

[Let me guess, it would be too easy for them to become corrupt otherwise?] 

"Indeed." 

I head over to the three guards at the entrance. 

This bugs me a bit, asymmetrical. 

[Hey there, I have some matter to talk with someone in charge.] 

"Hello stranger, how may we help?"

[Here is the thing, one of your members started insulting my bakery and left angrily for no reason. I am here to try and resolve this conflict peacefully.] 

"Ah, so it's you. No need. The branch master has already decided on how to deal with the issue."

[He has?] 

"Yes, you simply need to take down the shop then kneel for a month in front of our gates, and we will forgive you." 

[Are you shitting me?!] 

"Of course not. You can ask anyone. I'm afraid otherwise you will become an enemy of ours. Your fate will be worse."

[There are no negotiation opportunities?]

"The branch master specially ordered that there would be none. That we shouldn't disrupt him for that matter." 

[No matter what?] 

"No matter what."

[*Sigh. I guess it can't be helped then. Let's go!] 

"Aren't you angry? You won't destroy your own place, right?" 

[Of course, I'm a bit angry. Well, also disappointed. Also no I won't ever destroy it.] 

"Then what's the plan?" 

[You'll see haha.] 

We get back to the bakery. 

The old man is there looking puzzled at the special pies. 

"Hey kid, why is there such a thing written in front?" 

[What?]

"It says not to eat any of these. Something about dying if one does."

[Haha, that must be our new salesgirl. I told her to make sure no one touched them.] 

"Oh? What are they even?"

[Pies with special spices. Also part of my master plan!] 

"Right, I heard we now have some conflict with the Untainted sect. Want me to try and pull some strings?"

[Old man, I clearly remember last time you did. You disrupted half the city and wanted me to sign up for my own funerals! No thanks!] 

"Suit yourself haha. But what are you even going to do?"

[You'll see haha. It will be innocent, gentle, and glorious!] 

"Oh? Now I'm starting to have expectations!"

[Later old man!] 

I'll make them regret messing with me haha.