The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guys!

In the alley, I can see a group of people. 

They are crowding around… 

Nomzilla!

He seems to be unconscious for some reason.

Their leader seems to be poking him with a sword. 

[Hey lady! What the hell are you doing?!] 

"What?! Who are you! This is a restricted area!" 

[Restricted area my ass! What did you do to my friend?!] 

"Your friend?! You consider the Gluto follower your …"

[Yes, now step aside! Why is he here?] 

"I don't know! Now go away! This is now an official investigation!"

[If your so-called investigation is to poke him with a stick you may as well leave!]

She hides her weapon behind her back. 

C'mon I saw it already. 

I move closer. 

"We can't even tell if he is still alive without touching him and…"

Without touching him she says. 

With a disgusted expression to boot. 

Please, saving a life takes priority. 

He needs to taste more of my pies. 

I move my ear closer. 

Is he not breathing? 

Actually, there is too much fat to tell.

I can hear them talking about how this isn't part of their job. 

Something about never touching such a disgusting creature with their naked hands.

Enough is enough. 

[All of you, leave!] 

At first, they are recalcitrant, but then I make eye contact. 

With every single one. 

Giving them that look. 

Promising them a slow death if they don't get out of my face right now. 

I don't mind them not doing their job. 

But I can do without the sly comments. 

Only the worthless leader is left. 

"T-that sorry about that. I'll teach them manners later."

Don't care. 

Think. 

Gluto is all about eating. 

I know. 

Well, I hope this will work. 

I crouch down next to him. 

I raise the flab. 

Then I enter. 

Yes, that is the term. 

There is enough fat tissue to serve as a tent. 

The luxury kind that can host many. 

Hot. 

Stuffy. 

Sweaty. 

Wobbly.

Pressing on me. 

Not the best experience. 

Finally, I reach what I think is the source of it all. 

Where the bones should be. 

Then I circulate divine energy full speed. 

Then I lift. 

With my back straight, cause I'm no amateur. 

I somehow manage to accomplish it. 

"How?! How are you even alive in there?! How do you have the strength to…"

[We of The Unnamed God Sect never leave a man behind. Ever!] 

I mean. 

I never do. 

They simply all leave at some point. 

Ah, there is little Bai in a coma, but he's in good hands. 

Doesn't count right? 

This scene must look comical from an outsider's point of view. 

Or not, judging from the screams. 

A mass of flesh just getting carried all over. 

The skin is dragging a bit…no, a lot. 

Nothing I can do about that. 

"How are you even breathing in there?" 

Actually, I'm not. 

That's my secret. 

I also have another issue. 

I am now outside the alley.

I have no clue where to go. 

My vision is completely obstructed. 

But I have a trump card! 

[Wolfie! Guide us back home! I need audio signals!] 

She starts howling softly. 

I follow the sound. 

I have a guide wolf! 

How awesome is that?! 

Wait a moment. 

I could also do that. 

Scouting ability activate! 

Oh god. 

This is disgusting. 

The moving mass of …

Still, at least now I can see where I am going. 

I feel like a guy that just bought a brand-new car.

With the new one having cameras installed for once. 

Feel like a new world opened for me. 

I simply follow Wolfie. 

It's not needed anymore, is it? 

Well, it's kinda cute how she's dutifully escorting us. 

Acting like a bodyguard. 

Except people are really running from what they think is a monster. 

Seriously how do they live here and not know about him? 

He would be a touristic attraction from where I'm from. 

At least, I think.

That may sound mean at first, but if he gets fed he'd be 100% fine with it. 

After a while, we finally reach the bakery. 

The door is still destroyed. 

I leave him outside and enter. 

I quickly grab all the food I can. 

The old man is the only one inside.

He looks at me intrigued. 

I tell him to get more food ready. 

Then I throw a pie at the guy in the coma. 

Right at him. 

I'd aim for the face but I don't know where it is. 

*WOOSH!* 

Just as the delicious confection is about to hit his skin…

His head stretches out and he gobbles it all. 

Now he is back to his unmoving self. 

I knew it! 

I keep going. 

Some people sleepwalk. 

He sleepeats instead.

No, devour would be the better term. 

After all, he has already gone through a few dozen pies. 

The lady that followed us here for some reason is just watching in awe. 

What can I say? 

I am truly handsome!

I bet she can't help but admire my throwing form. 

Perhaps she admires our brotherly bond too. 

Just a man caring for his sick friend. 

Actually, I still don't know the issue. 

Then again it happens to the best of us. 

I mean coma in an alley may be slightly extreme. 

I usually just sleep there. 

"Why are you helping him?"

[He is my friend.]

"I thought the church of Gluto didn't have friends."

[Then you thought wrong.] 

*RUMBLE* 

How is a human making such a sound by waking up? 

"Ah! That felt great!"

[Are you okay? What happened to you?] 

"Oh, nothing much. Attacked by some guy."

"That should be impossible! Our system is…"

"Very flawed, yes. Very useless."

"There is no way that…!" 

[Shut up! So, who's the enemy?] 

"Some necromancer, death-magic user. I got his physical body, but his soul escaped."

[Soul?] 

"His spirit. Well, actually it felt strange. As if there were multiple consciousnesses inside him."

[Gotcha, multiple personality disorder. I know that one.] 

"It's a shame I would have gotten him too if the worthless defense system didn't get in my way."

[So what should we do about it?] 

"Our unit will track him down and …"

So she says, but we both ignore her.

"I'll be fine. Just be careful on your side."

[What about revenge?] 

"I'm good. These guys are hard to make resurface. They can hide easily." 

[So just be careful and wait? Gotcha.] 

We just nod and both leave to do our own things. 

In the background, the lady is clamoring about answering her questions. 

Not like I know anything, let's just get back to the pies. 

Can't wait for the wave of enthusiastic customers we'll soon get. 

I feel like I forgot something, meh whatever…