The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guys!

I resolutely cross the gates. 

Time to fight. 

I've seen some of our allies nearby. 

If I dawdle, they might come into harm. 

I wish to avoid that. 

At least I don't want to be the cause of it. 

The crowd is already starting to disperse. 

Yet there are many still remaining. 

Excitingly discussing what happened before. 

C'mon! A man died! 

This is no laughing matter! 

How entertainment starved are these guys?! 

[*Whisper* Wolfie, stay in the back.] 

Now, how do I draw my opponent out? 

Time for secret aggro generating art style I. 

I for insults! 

[Where you at you bastard! Let's fight! So what if you are the Lunar Goddess's champion eh?! I'll fuck you up!] 

The whole area turns silent. 

Everyone looking over scared. 

What's up with these guys? 

A man nearby is looking my way. 

I can see the dread in his eyes. 

Oh god.

I think I know.

He's behind me, isn't he? 

All good. 

I'm already circulating divine energy.

When he sneak-attacks is when I will riposte!

I keep waiting but nothing happens. 

I finally get tired of it. 

I turn my head and….

Nope. 

No one is there. 

Completely empty. 

If this was a movie, we'd be inserting the cricket sounds right here.

I move toward a bystander and…

He moves backward. 

I keep moving forward but he keeps retreating. 

All the others staying far away. 

Is this Covid all over again? 

I point at the guy. 

[You, why are you doing this?] 

"M-me?!"

The crowd immediately parts away from him too. 

[Yes you!]

He crumbles on the ground. 

"I-I did not hear anything! I have no idea what you said?!"

[I don't care about that. Where is the guy that was fighting here earlier?]

"W-which one lord?!" 

[Why would I be looking for a dead man?!]

"T-that please have mercy! There were two fights earlier! The winner from the previous one ran away after he fought again!"

Wait…he ran away? 

Then he is not here for me for sure…

This…is awkward. 

So much for my big resolution.

I finally decided to confront him, and he runs away. 

*Sigh*

This can only mean one thing. 

Did I waste my time? 

Perhaps. 

No, there is something worth noting. 

This means…

I win by forfeit baby! 

Hell yeah! 

The guy is sweating and trembling while I'm cheering by myself. 

[*Cough* You can rise and go about your own business.]

He quickly rises up and starts running. 

Why does it seem like he's just been pardoned from death? 

[As for you guys…] 

*Sound of dozens of anuses clenching in fright* 

[You guys can ….] 

Wait...

I'm really not sure what's up, but they are intently listening to me right now. 

My guess is they saw my momentum. 

They also remember the prowess of the cultivator guy. 

They must believe me strong.

No way a weak guy would challenge a champion! 

Except my case is special. 

So, I'm thinking…

It would be such a waste not to...

Their nerves are a train wreck by now. 

The silence digging at their mental resilience. 

I feel dropping a pin would cause them a heart attack right now. 

I inspect the crowd. 

*Gulping sounds* 

[You guys can go buy pies at our shop. I'll even throw in a discount only for this group.] 

I give them a big thumb up and a wink to dispel the heavy atmosphere. 

Everyone likes discounts am I right? 

Of course, I am!

"T-that there is no need."

[I insist.] =)

"T-that, won't people try to take advantage of your kindness? What if someone else tries to claim that discount? Someone that wasn't even here!" 

He has a valid point.

[Don't worry about it. I'll remember all of you guys perfectly.] 

"A-all of us?!" 

[Of course! A baker requires great memory you know! For the recipes and whatnot.] 

Of course, that is a lie haha. 

I'll just give a discount to whoever asks for one. 

I'll just treat this as a promotional event. 

People will talk about the duel and mention our place at the same time. 

Best promo ever! 

I'm a goddamn genius!

"*Gulp* T-thank you very much!" 

He is so happy he seems to be tearing up.

I'm not sure if it's the discount itself.

Perhaps. 

Maybe he is simply not used to this level of care.

Customer service needs to kind of attention. 

No matter if you actually recognize them you need to play the part.

Well, there are always exceptions. 

Some really do care. 

Like that one author I knew. 

Weird dude. 

Loved to talk to his fans way too much. 

Kept browsing discord while writing even. 

Anyway, I'm not that dedicated.

Well not toward these potential buyers. 

Well, maybe if they become regulars. 

Anyway! 

I go close to him. 

Pat his shoulder. 

[Don't worry about it. I'll be expecting you. Actually, all of you guys!] 

Then I turn and walk away like a boss. 

They are silent.

Respectfully waiting for me to be gone. 

This feels good. 

Yes, I have ulterior motives, but they will save money thanks to me. 

Now I just need to go back and tell everyone that the problem is solved. 

I guess I am lucky. 

Somehow didn't have to do anything. 

Let me see. 

Should I explain in detail the situation? 

I could always just go back to the bakery.

Coolly sit at a table and sip some tea. 

Then I could wait for anyone to inquire about the situation. 

I would just calmly look at them.

Also, take a deep and steady voice. 

Then I would simply say. 

[It has been handled. No need for concern.] 

Then no matter what, I would only repeat that one sentence. 

Ask me about the cultivator dude? 

It has been handled. 

Ask me about the Moon Keep?

It has been handled. 

Ask me about the Lunar Goddess? 

It has been handled. 

Ask me about the god realm? 

It has been handled. 

Ok, there is no way anyone would believe the last one. 

Still so much for what I expected to be a Life and Death duel. 

Pretty anticlimactic, right?

Now I just need to casually stroll back home and...

As I pass an alley, I see something worrying...