The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guys!

*CLANG* 

Barges in a young woman. 

"There you are you little fool! Hurry up and come home! There is work to be done!" 

"Ah, but I'm not done feeding my friend…"

I'm pretty sure he could eat all the remaining bread in one go. 

This is a peculiar hobby when you think about it. 

People usually feed ducks or something, not …well you know. 

I'm pretty sure this brother is not human anymore. 

He is an evolved being. 

For all intended purposes he shall be referred to as Nomzilla from now on in my inner monologues. 

"Don't worry kid, just hand it all at once and I'll eat it in one bite!" 

"Wow, that's so impressive!" 

He throws it all in the air. 

Nomzilla works his magic instantly. 

The girl seems to be getting angry.

"Stop clowning around! We need to be back soon! Also, stop hanging with this sort of dubious crowd!" 

Hey, I can't let that pass. 

[Young lady, we are not shady individuals we are simply...]

"Shut your mouth you hobo! When was the last time you even changed your clothes?! You disgust me!"

What?! 

I've been busy baking!

"It's even worse for that thing. We can't even see your clothes in that mass of flesh! Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror?! I'm pretty sure you can't, given your size!" 

"Ah, actually I can use specially made mirrors that…"

"That's way too mean sister! Take it back!"

"Shut up!"

She then looks at me and Nomzilla. 

"As for you both the next time you even come close to my brother you will be in for a world of pain!" 

[What are you even implying? We are literally in the Gluto church right now, are you blind?!]

"*Scoff*You think that will be enough to save your hides?! I don't care how but stay away from my brother in the future! Otherwise, see how I deal with you!" 

[Young lady you are misunderstanding. My friend is just sitting there eating and nothing else. Meanwhile, I'm just a baker passing by to organize an ingredient shipment for my pies.] 

Here, I will be the bigger person and…

"*Laugh* For your pies?! Then you definitely can't afford to offend me! A lowly baker like you should just keep baking your worthless pies." 

Did she just…

"Young lady, pies are amazing! You can't just disregard something great in a moment of anger." 

Nomzilla is as wise as benevolent.

"Why would I care about your shitty…"

Yep, that's enough. 

I dash toward her. 

I may not be the greatest fighter, but we are indoor. 

I quickly grab her. 

"*ACK! * Y-you mongrel what are you doing?!" 

"Mister, please don't hurt my sister! She's really mean and dumb but she isn't a bad person!"

"You little shit what are you even saying right now?!" 

He is looking at me with puppy eyes. 

She is extremely angry. 

My business partner is overlooking the situation calmly. 

[Kid, you are right about that. She really has character flaws that need some fixing. Do you know what one should do when such a problem happens?] 

He shakes his head. 

[Discipline.] 

I sit on a nearby bench. 

Then I push her on my laps and hold her there tight. 

"Y-you wouldn't dare! You will have hell to pay for…" 

*SMACK* 

"*HYYY*" 

I smash her bottom. 

Heavily enough for her to feel it, but not hard enough to cause injury.

[Who exactly looks like a hobo? I'll have you know baking for days on end is proof of dedication.]

*SMACK*

"Stop!" 

I can see the stupefied face of her brother.

Except it doesn't take long before he starts giggling. 

[Insulting my friend based on his appearance? Have you even accomplished half of what he has done?] 

*SMACK* 

"I'll kill you for sure!" 

Please kill me? 

I'd like to see her try. 

My friend just said the city itself gives him tributes. 

He's a friend of the old man too so he'll protect him. 

As for my personal safety, I should be fine. 

[Not to come close to your brother? Open your eyes and look at where you are before spewing so much bullshit!] 

*SMACK* 

"Fuck you!"

[You think bakers are lowly? Then what does that make you? You are getting your ass slapped by this lowly one and can't do anything about it!] 

*SMACK* 

"I'll get my revenge!"

[Calling pies worthless? This is a sacrilege to every gourmet ever!] 

*SMACK* 

I can hear echoes in the background of the others that are agreeing with me! 

"Please stop!" 

[You think we are a bad influence on your brother? Have you reflected on your own attitude?!] 

*SMACK* 

"I will, just stop hitting!" 

[You got lucky I am so nice, anyone less tolerant and you'd be a corpse right about now!] 

*SMACK* 

"Forgive me already, I'm sorry!" 

[Say it like you mean it!] 

*SMACK* 

"I'm sorry!" 

[What will you do in the future? Will you behave?] 

*SMACK* 

"Yes, I will! Let me go already!" 

*SMACK* 

"What was that one for?!" 

[Just felt like it!] 

Then comes an awkward silence. 

I somehow ran out of things to say. 

Ah…seems I kinda got a tiny bit too into it. 

I can't come out and admit slapping her supple ass felt nice. 

Smooth, juicy, yet tight. 

Alright, brain gotta think of something else before…

She turns crimson. 

Completely. 

Seems I'm busted. 

Setting her on my lap wasn't that good an idea after all. 

It's fine. 

Just gotta play it cool. 

I nod at her. 

[As long as you understand your wrongdoings and are careful in the future then you can go.] 

She takes a moment to calm her breathing. 

"A-alright." 

She still looks a bit angry.

She just wants to be as far away from me as possible. 

"Right, sister. What was that about work to be done at home?" 

"AH…I forgot! Father and brother have something to tell us! They want to ask you something too since you are often playing around the city!" 

"Later, take care kid!" 

Thus they leave quickly. 

Her silently running away. 

The brother waving back. 

[Is she smart enough not to come for revenge, or should I follow up on something?] 

"Don't worry about it. I'm sure even her own family won't mind us disciplining her a little. She's been too rude for her own good recently."

[That's fine then.] 

"Yep, I would have done it myself, but I don't like moving if I can help it."

[That reassures me. Well then, time for me to head back. I'll be expecting all the stuff required for the pies. See you later!] 

I can hear him add playfully. 

"Alright, oh also. Next time you discipline someone try not to pop a boner…" 

Followed by the sonorous laughter of my friend, I leave shamed. 

This is embarrassing…