The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guys!

He's going to treat me to a meal?

Nice! There is only one thing I prefer to free food and that is free booze. Also depends on the food. Some things are just too tempting.

[Lead the way! I'm following!]

"Haha, this is the least I can do with how you have helped me.

I seen fact, the meal is thanks to you too in a way."

Oh? This is getting mysterious. Mysterious is good. Well except when it turns out you are the meal.

You know when you just happen to get invited to a dinner by some fancy people. Then at the end of the story, you end up on a silver platter in some juicy sauce. I'm pretty sure that was the plot of some horror movie.

Could have been porn too actually. Getting eaten can have many meanings.

Still, I really doubt he'd do that. After all, he was ready to run away with me earlier. Yes, I was just trolling him but it doesn't change the fact that he seems to trust me.

He also followed me to some dark sewers. That is literally the best place to commit a murder. Gotta get rid of evidence? Fear not for slimes are your best friends!

Oh yeah, talking about slimes, he is carrying the small slime in his arms. This thing is kinda cute in its own way. It is bouncy, soft, and round.

All qualities I can enjoy as a man of culture. That's how I like my pillows if you know what I mean. Especially after some vigorous nightly exercise. It is important to stay in shape people!

A bit of moving in the morning and at night is the best if you ask me. And right after exhausting yourself, take the time for a nice and deep massage. One that we all know how it will end.

Anyway, we soon reach the surface. He guides me until someplace in the city. Where? I don't know. I'm new here.

Whenever I want to find the city gate, I follow the big walls.

Whenever I want to find the lumberjack camp, I look for the greenery.

Whenever I want to go to the guild I follow to the big buildings.

I have a system in place. And it's working! Somewhat.

Where is the library is all that? Actually, I'm not sure anymore. Oh well. After many twists and turns, we reach a small street stall. I guess it is actually a medium-sized one.

There is no building, but there are chairs and a counter to sit at. It seems to be made in a style where everything can be folded for easy storage. You know, the smart thing to do. Especially in a world where war can erupt at any moment.

As they say: a wise man is always prepared to …get the fuck out! At least I say that. I do feel I am pretty wise at times.

A city is temporary, but a food stall is eternal. For example, there was that one show I loved.

If you were to tell me the ninja village is getting attacked, I'd be like, so what? I sleep.

Now, tell me that the ramen place is under attack and that issue is getting serious! Real shit!

We stop in front of a bald old man with white hair. Hair is not only on the head you know. In his case, it seems to be growing from many places.

Is this place respecting the city health rules?! Maybe they don't have that here. This place seems to be a noodle shop. How nice.

"Yo, if it isn't little Bai! What brings you here?"

He strikes a victory pose.

"I am returning victorious from my quest! I request my prize!"

"Nice! So you did tame a beast! What is it?"

"Look at it! From now on this is my loyal and valiant companion!"

"Is that a …slime? I didn't even know it was possible to tame these."

"Yep, it is! This might very well be the first slime tamed in existence!"

Yeah, I probably gotta stop that before it becomes too ridiculous.

[Actually, you probably shouldn't brag so much. I'm sure someone somewhere has already tamed many slimes and is creating an army of them as we speak. So maybe keep it on the down-low?]

"No way! Old man, this guy might act humble but he's the one that made it all possible. He brought me in the sewers and told me to just tame it. He said to use food to bait it and it worked!"

"Oh? I see. Now that explains everything. I was wondering why you could manage it. It is because you and the slime are alike!"

"What?! How?!"

Yeah, now that he is pointing it out, I can definitely see it. I and the old man make eye contact. At that moment we totally understand each other.

"Both are round."

[Both are a bit chubby.]

"Both love food."

[Both used to feed on trash.]

["There you have it x2"]

He looks at both of us at a loss.

"This ain't fair! You guys are ganging up on me!"

"So what?!"

[What are you gonna do about it?]

He remains silent for a few seconds.

"Well, nothing. *sigh* Still, you guys should just be happy for me. Let's eat already! Old man you didn't forget that promise of yours, right?!"

"Of course not! I am a man of my word. Feel free to eat whatever you want today!"

"Nice!"

[Nice!]

*Sound of a bowl of noodles falling from a table, hitting the floor, and shattering in 37 pieces exactly. *

Then comes a voice filled with disbelief.

"Y-you managed to tame a slime?! How?! There is no way this should be possible! Many have tried before without success and it always ended up as a tragedy. There was that one instance that a guild leader tried to push slimes to take care of the cleaning duties to save funds and it all ended up …"

[Wait! Who the hell are you?!]