The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guys!

*Intense Sobbing*

*Some more sobbing*

*Two guys sobbing in harmony*

"…. Why the hell are you here crying with me?! I'm the one that just lost my opportunity to become a tamer!"

[…That…it seems I lost mine too somehow. Did you know that taming requires being able to wield mana?]

"Of course I …. you can't use mana?!"

[Nope. No matter how hard I try I just can't]

"*Sigh* Fine I'll allow you to keep crying."

[Don't worry I'm sure you still have a chance at success!]

"Nope, I'm completely broke now. I used everything to book this place for today and buy the food. Meanwhile, that asshole is just there sleeping peacefully."

We both look at the pink ferret. It is sleeping soundly without a worry in the world. What an asshole indeed. We are here having emotional breakdowns and it's just sleeping.

[We just need to get you some funds then you can try again. However, are you sure you want to tame this thing?]

"*Sigh* No way I want to run around with this flashy pink creature following me. It's just that it's supposed to be one of the easiest rank 2 to tame. I figured I could make money more easily with an actual pet."

True a beast tamer alone won't do much.

[How much do you need? I have few copper coins. I can pitch in and…]

"Copper? Man, I don't need copper, I need gold!"

[It's that expensive?!]

"Yes, it's totally a rip-off!"

[Then why are you buying it then?!]

"Because I don't have any other choice! Aren't you paying to study here too?!"

[That…. yes…it seems I wasted a lot of cash on that.]

"*Sigh* I can't believe I made so many sacrifices to get that sum. I haven't even been eating properly for the last year."

X Doubt!

[Dude, you are chubby. How are you not eating well?!]

"For the last year, I have been sneaking in the beast pen to steal some food. Of course, I would take some weight. This stuff isn't meant for humans at all! It tastes horrible!"

Oh my fucking god. I take it back. This guy totally deserves to get an opportunity.

[How about we go get one from the wild?]

"Nope, way too dangerous! I have only one life I do not want to throw it away! Besides I need a weak pet for now to train my soul strength."

[Wait…I know exactly where we can go for that.]

"You do? There won't be any danger?"

[None whatsoever! This place is super safe and easy to reach!]

"Alright! When can we go there?!"

He seems extremely excited now. Gone is the crying little Bai. Somehow seeing him pick himself up does cheer me up.

[How about now?]

"Alright, I'm following!"

And thus we leave the tamer guild. I have a clear destination in mind. We quickly reach it.

"What the fuck is that?!"

[A ladder?]

"I see that, why are we going into the city's sewers?!"

[To get you a pet.]

"There is no way there would be any creature down …."

[Tch, believe in me will you. You think I'd bring you here for fun?]

"That…. okay."

How can he doubt me like that? Unbelievable!

[Are you ready to witness something amazing?]

"Yes?"

I bring him all the way to where I fell.

[See this! Look at the number of slimes there are!]

"…."

[What's up with you aren't you going to tame one? Don't look down on slimes! They can become bigger and stronger!]

"…"

[All you need to do is feed it until it becomes strong. Worst case it will help you train your soul strength]

"…"

[Aren't you going to say anything?]

"*Sigh* That… slimes don't have souls and cannot be tamed. This whole trip was pointless. That should teach me to get my hopes up."

[Have you tried it?]

"Of course not, but…"

[Then shut the fuck up and go tame a damn slime already!]

"But…"

[No but! If you are already giving up for such a trivial reason as this, you don't deserve to be a tamer at all!]

Is what I say, but honestly at this point I'm just trying to cover up my embarrassment. After all, I did make him believe in this only to shatter his hopes afterward.

I feel like there is a lot of stuff these tamers assume to be common knowledge. The mana part and about which creatures are tameable too. Where is a taming for dummies book when you need one?!

I'd make one if I could, but I clearly don't have the required knowledge.

"Alright, I'll give it a try!"

Seems he is oddly motivated now.

"Help me fish one out."

[Sure thing!]

Wait didn't we just clean these things? How are there so many already. I can already count about a dozen. Well, it isn't my problem anyway.

I carefully catch one. I say carefully because I am trying to avoid showing my splendid body again. You know the clothes getting melted and all. We move away from the slime pack. Showtime!

[Go ahead!]

He seems to be focusing hard. I can see a vein bulging on his forehead. With the noise he is making I'm wondering if he is about to shit his pants. He grunts and he grunts until….

"I fucking give up. All these things know to do is eat.

There is no way a mental link is possible."

[Wait so how does the mental link work exactly?]

"You send thoughts and emotions to the other using mana. Then you link both of your souls together. The issue is that it is easy to block and will only work if the target agrees to it."

[Gotcha, so voluntary submission eh. You did say that you've had lots of experiences with food, right? How about you try and think about that?]

"Think about food?"

[Think how you felt when eating trash. Then how eating good food makes you feel. After all, like you, this slime has been having trouble eating for the past year. Only feeding on scraps it could get for free.]

"…. You mean to say I am as pitiful as a slime. This hurts, but I can't exactly disagree either."

[Just do it already!]

He steps up toward it again.

Now, what should I say to console him when it inevitably fails?