The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guys!

Yeah, no way in hell this guy is a bloodthirsty monster. He is innocently and radiantly smiling because of me praising his hospitality. Hell if that guy is a vampire, I'm a god! HAHAHA. As if!

Everyone seems to be having fun. Miming away with the highest drive I've ever seen. Legit this guy would definitely be a popular show executive from where I'm from. Either that or he could legit open a restaurant that would sell literal air. That would be the most profitable business model ever.

[Hey, do you know how to leave this place?]

I can see a shadow pass through his otherwise clear eyes.

"I know how, I simply can't myself. But don't worry, I will help you guys get out. This place is not one suited for the living."

[Aren't you here?]

"I'm a special case you see. I need to stay here for reasons beyond my control. Most of the time I am simply slumbering in any case it isn't that bad."

I can see loneliness in his expression. He is trying to put on a brave front. Sadly he seems right about this place not being suitable for the living. I could probably stay here for a while using divine energy to sustain myself but for what purpose? To keep him company? Actually…I could!

At first, I just wanted to get out of here as soon as possible, but I do have an unlimited supply of training dummies here. What if I stayed just for a little while? I could train for a while. There is a nice castle and all.

Ah, but what about Wolfie? I'd have to abandon her for a little while. That would be really bad. Also, I'd lose my guides to this diplomatic town, but I could probably somehow figure it out. I'll have to decide later on.

[Gotcha, in any case, we'll have to open the way for my companions. They definitely can't stay here.]

He nods earnestly.

Actually, I am getting curious about something.

[How did you actually cook for them to be so engrossed in it?]

"Every dish is tailored to every individual's preference."

[Every single one?!]

"Yes haha, that's how it works."

I truly wonder how it would appear for me. Then again it probably doesn't matter that much. It is fine from time to time but getting the feeling of eating without the actual nutriments is going to be bad for the health long term for sure. Wait…wouldn't this magic be the best one for losing weight?! Oh my god!

I really wish there is a way for me to learn this thing. I would become rich instantly. I do have the slight presentiment that it will involve mana again.

Seriously these mages seem so fucking boring, so far none has ever considered using divine energy to cast spells instead. Maybe I could figure it out on my own? Well, my experiences are limited I probably just haven't met one.

Ah, but I heard sudden-self combustion is possible for magic if you make a mistake. Getting a teacher for the more complex stuff is the safe way to go about it for sure.

Could you imagine dying from messing up a spell?! Tombstone reading: this dumbass dreamed of being a mage. Task failed successfully!

"Would you, perhaps want to go for a walk? I could show you around the castle."

His eyes are shiny. You know like a kid that invites a friend over for the first time. Then said kid would proceed to show every single room there is, even the bathroom like a tour guide. That is how enthusiastic he is at the moment. Damn this guy is cute.

[Sure thing, lead the way!]

I get up…or try to. Wolfie is hugging my leg preventing me from doing so. How does a wolf even do that? I wouldn't know how to describe it at all. All curled up around it with a begging look.

[Want to come along?]

*Nods*

"Of course you can tag along too! The more the merrier. I just don't want to disturb their feast."

Yes, these guys are looking at me wondering if they should follow. I can see their gaze darting from the invisible food to me with lingering regret.

Funny people.

[You guys just eat, we'll be back!]

They'd be cheering and screaming of joy right now if they didn't have their mouths full, or so they think anyway.

And thus we depart again. I just realized this but somehow our host doesn't make any sound while moving about. How awesome is that?!

To be honest there are two ways to go about being an epic character as far as the walking pattern goes. Either it needs to be confident, steady, and rhythmical…or the opposite and silent. The first one implies a boss that knows where he is heading. The second implies mystery. Who doesn't love mystery? No one! Actually, maybe some people but still.

[Oh yeah, how does this castle remain this clean?]

This feels more surreal than the entire death domain itself. Actually, now that I think about it there is a chance this guy is some kind of necromancer or something. That would make him similar to Grey. How is a dark magic user that friendly and spending his days on a bench in the sun? I'll never know. But there has been a precedent so maybe…might explain the red eyes too, some kind of powerful magic.

"Oh, the whole castle was sealed away and free from deteriorating because of it."

[Wait?! Does that mean you are able to stop time with a seal?]

"No, not at all. The best I can do is make this place remain untouched. Anything alive inside will still lose lifespan. Time isn't stopped, just its deadly effects affected. Well only toward object again."

[That is still so amazing! Say if there is ever a time where you can exit this place won't you work with me? We'd start a restaurant! We'd start an item preservation business! We'd start a fitness center!]

"HAHAHAHA there is no way this will happen."

He's laughing so heartily while shutting me down so harshly. Why?

"I won't be able to leave for a very long while. I have my circumstances."

[Alright understood, but promise me that when you get out, you'll look for me so we can partner up and do business!]

"That…. alright."

[Alright now we are talking!]

"HAHA of course!"

[Alright where do we begin the tour?]

And thus we start strolling peacefully.

Things are going so well. Nothing bad will happen, right?