Nirvana(BL)

Ye Lin looks at the forty-year-old Yu Yue, feels more and more annoyed.

Forty, is the time that when a cultured and well-cultivated man in his prime. Yu Yue, a 40 years old man, is in a suit with carefully parted hair and the gold rimmed glasses. He speaks and behaves in a graceful manner, shinning wherever he stops. In fact, he has not married yet. So it looks like he has a face of "I'm golden bachelor" when he appears in any kind of social occasions. The beauties in their 20s fly to his arms like the swallows—thinking about this, Ye Lin feels too annoyed to fall into sleep.

Twenty years ago, Ye Lin couldn't believe that Yu Yue would become his last one. Not to mention that he would feel so annoyed because of Yu Yue.

Now, Yu Yue flies around the world, spending less than half his time in Beijing a year. At the New Year reception, Ye Lin finally gets to see him.

He's holding a goblet and talking with a group of people cheerfully and humorously. Behind him is a girl around twenty-five who looks like a television star called Liu Yifei. After sitting on the sofa and staring Yu Yue for ten minutes, he finally comes over to say hi, with that little girl.

"Sisi, come, meet Mr. Ye, Mr. Ye, this is Yang Sisi, my secretary and also our alumna."

Ye Lin has already blocked the girl out of his mind, but doesn't show it on his face. He just nods without any expression: "director Yu, you are really busy recently. I haven't seen you for a long time. What are you busy with?"

"I went abroad to study, just came back this morning. I rushed here after getting off the plane." Yu Yue smiles apologetically, "how are you doing? I'm really busy these days. But I'll be sure to visit you another day."

"I'm old. Nothing is good or bad for me. I just muddle along. I dare not to bother you."

"Mr. Ye, what are you talking about? I'm supposed to visit you."

"No, no, Director Yu. You time is precious, especially the night hours. Don't waste it on an old man like me."

"Mr. Ye, you are really good at joking." Yu Yue smiles, "well, let me get right to the point. Sisi is with me now, and I'm counting on you to take care of her. Please be tolerant."

Ye Lin glances at the girl who lowers her head down with a red face. She's like a rabbit, and seems to be a novice. He takes a sip from his teacup and says: "all right, no problem."

"Thank you for her then."

Ye Lin has an itch to rush up and kick him down on the ground. You were like her at that year and I made you an alpha wolf, now you dare to in charge of me.

"So, Mr. Ye, excuse me to leave, I need to greet over there. See you another day?" Yu Yue still smiles.

"Well, another day." Ye Lin is still calm, looking at Yu Yue leaves with Yang Sisi.

That night, he doesn't see Yu Yue, not even receives his call. Same the next day and the day after.

The fourth day is weekend. Ye Lin ask a person to call Yang Sisi.

"How are you, Mr. Ye." The small white rabbit timidly stands in front of Ye Lin, even doesn't know where to put her hands.

"I'm pretty good." Ye Lin sits behind the desk, reading the newspaper with the tea, but not looks at Yang Sisi. "Nothing you need to do. Please sit down and wait for a while. We'll have dinner together."

Yang Sisi looks around and finds no extra chair. She waves her hands: "no, no need. It's OK for me to stand."

"So you are working for Director Yu now, is he nice to you?"

"Yea…Yes, he's a nice person."

Yang Sisi sounds like she's going to bite off her tongue.

Ye Lin continues to take his time: " He seems like to take good care of you, right?"

At that moment, the scene appears in Ye Lin's mind is that he rushes forward to kick her down to the ground, and tramples her pink face as hard as he can. However, in the reality, he still sits there as steady as a mountain, drinking his tea calmly.

"Wait a moment for Yu Yue. Let's have dinner together." Ye Lin says that and continues to read his newspaper, leaving her alone.

Yang Sisi has nowhere to sit, and it's hard to go out to fetch a chair. Thus, she can only stand there, from three to five o'clock until Yu Yue is arrived.

As soon as seeing Yu Yue come in, Yang Sisi starts winking to him. And Ye Lin has seen it clearly.

Yu Yue walks to Ye Lin and stops in front of him, asks tentatively: "Mr. Ye, shall we eat?"

Ye Lin then closes the newspaper: "OK, let's eat."

The three people sit at the table, enjoy their dinner in a strange atmosphere.

After dinner, Yu Yue says to Yang Sisi: "you can go first, I have something to talk with Mr. Ye."

Yang Sisi gets the order, then runs away as flying.

Ye Lin reclines on a chaise lounge to rest with his eyes closed.

"Ye Lin," Yu Yue moves the chair to his side, "is it fun to embarrass her?"

"No, it's not fun." Ye Lin says dryly, "so I don't want to embarrass her. Without her, you'll still find someone else. It's no fun to mess around with her, what I should do is shooting you ten years ago, so that you would always be mine."

"Don't say that, Ye Lin." Yu Yue is smiling, he pulls a hand of Ye Lin up to his lips, "I will be more unscrupulous if you let me know that you move the heart."

"Huh, the heart." Ye Lin smiles in a second, then he pulls Yu Yue's hair to make him look at back, "Yu Yue, I move the heart doesn't mean I won't be heartless. No matter how high you climb, I can still drop you to the original. You can't hide from me. I give you free, but I never say that you can be out of my control. If I call you, you need to be back. Otherwise, I'll break your wings and you'll have nowhere to go."

Yu Yue also smiles, he says with a slight voice: "why, Ye Lin, why you have to be like this? I know it, I know it all. And I'm still here, not trying to fly out of your hand. I just want to stand shoulder to shoulder with you. I want an equal relationship, not your one-side favor, not my subordination to you. Equal partners can fight, break up, or even cheat. Do you understand? You've been holding my rights out on me, but I haven't given up yet. If I have ever done that, you should get bored on me long time ago. You would dump me—don't deny, Ye Lin."

Ye Lin doesn't say anything.

Yu Yue continues: "that girl, I didn't touch her, and I'm not going to have any relationship with her. I just play with her, to show you."

Ye Lin opens his eyes widely: "Yu Yue, Yu Yue, what do you want exactly?"

"What do I want…" Yu Yue repeats silently, as if he's thinking about it, "I want you to care about me all the time, even to the age of eighty."

Ye Lin is astonished. Is that Yu Yue? Is that what he said? During the past twenty years, it's the first time for him to admit their love. Ye Lin has been trying to tie Yu Yue with a variety of ways all these years, since he was afraid that Yu Yue would never come back if he loosed his hand. But now Yu Yue admits that he want Ye Lin to care about him all the time. Is it real?

"Of course, sometimes I might go so far that you think I want to leave. But actually, it is rare to have someone take care of me from 20 to 40, and put me in his heart for 20 years. So I do appreciate him, cling to him, and don't want to leave him. What I need is not one day, one night, but to be together with him till the end of life."

Ye Lin looks into his eyes for a long, long time.

Finally he closes his eyes and lays back in his chair: "all right, go. I won't restrain you no matter how high you fly, or how far you go. If you were fooling me, then keep me fooled to death. It only takes you twenty or thirty years, not hard for you, right? If there's anything would make me unhappy, just hide it from me. I'm old, what I want is only out of sight and out of mind. If you can do this, I'll take that as a yes. Go now."

Yu Yue stands up in silence. When he gets to the door, he turns around suddenly: "I met the undercover you told me many years ago, the one who betrayed his lover. You were wrong about two things. First, he was not heartless. He slept with someone in your department to get the smuggler's son out of the orphanage. He's still single now and he has raised that child by himself. Second," Yu Yue looks at Ye Lin seriously, " I don't think he's prettier than me, what do you say?"

"Yes," Ye Lin keeps silent for three seconds, and he replies: "Mine looks the best."