League of the Unkillable Demon King

Translator: EndlessFantasy Translation
Editor: EndlessFantasy Translation

“Big Brother, this Zither Lady is so noob as support. She’s not even one-tenth as good as you. I can’t win lane,” Chen Yifei complained in dissatisfaction. 

“I can understand that she died because she’s a noob, but why did you die too?” asked Chen Mu. 

“She went to harass the enemy champions against their minions, but the enemy champions attacked her first. How could I not try to save her?” What Chen Yifei said was rather logical, but Chen Mu did not agree with her. 

There were two players in the bot lane. If one of them turned out to be a noob that had terrible decision making, Chen Mu would surely let them die. A good example would be fighting enemy champions in the presence of the opposing team’s minions. Chen Mu had calculated the total damage of the minions—taking on enemy minions was equivalent to getting attacked by two Mage-type champions. Since both attacks were of the same nature, there was no chance of winning. 

If one was scared of their teammate criticizing them for not helping, they could chuck a few abilities toward the front. If one’s teammate still blamed them for their death, one could only ignore them as they had no understanding of their capabilities. 

Chen Mu did not want to argue with Chen Yifei either. He only had to finish his part perfectly. It was not important to him whether they won or lost as long as they could get free internet credit. 

In the top lane, the Hand of Noxus was severely suppressing the enemy team’s Garen. The Jungler of the enemy team noticed that and hurried forward to assist the latter. 

Bladesman 1was the enemy team’s jungler. After messing around and clearing his camps, Bladesman managed to level up to Level 6. Hence, he hurried over to assist Garen in killing the Hand of Noxus. 

When Chen Mu saw Bladesman’s approaching, he did not lose his cool and simply backed off calmly. As he did so, he clicked on Bladesman to check out his stats.

At Level 6, Bladesman had 1100 health points and fifty-eight points of armor. However, embarrassingly enough, Bladesman was not at full health even though he was Chen Mu. Chen Mu assumed that he must have just finished off clearing his jungle camps. 

Bladesman’s health bar indicated that he only had eight hundred health points left. With some simple calculations, Chen Mu knew that Bladesman was merely presenting his head on a silver platter. 

Disregarding the Hand of Noxus who had one thousand and five hundred health points left in his health bar, the Hand of Noxus was already Level 8. In addition to that, the Hand of Noxus possessed armor penetration with his E ability.

Adding up the total damage of Chen Mu’s three abilities along with his basic attacks and then multiplying the amount of damage with the percentage of damage reduction, as well as taking into account the amount of true damage he could deal, his total damage output was larger than eight hundred points. Hence, killing the Bladesman would be a piece of cake for Chen Mu. All things considered, Chen Mu had yet included the magic damage from his passive, Hemorrhage. Therefore, once Chen Mu realized what kind of Bladesman he was dealing with, he felt as if he was another step closer to scoring a Legendary. 

Garen followed after the Bladesman from afar. However, before he could reach his teammate, Bladesman cast his ultimate and Qed forward. 

Chen Mu simply cast his Q and W before using his E to pull the Bladesman back in a little. Next, Chen Mu gave a few attack move commands and then cast another Q. After waiting for Bladesman’s health to drop lower than three grids, Chen Mu dealt the killing blow immediately. 

Garen had thought that they were sure to end the Hand of Noxus and wondered how it was possible that Bladesman died. The amount of damage the Hand of Noxus could deal was terrifying. ‘I’m totally going to play the Hand of Noxus in the next match,’ thought Garen. 

After upgrading his items, Chen Mu’s stats overpowered Garen’s even more. There was a difference of about five hundred points between their maximum health bars. Based on Garen’s damage that was around a hundred points—not taking into account armor points—Garen would have to hit the Hand of Noxus more than eight times before their health points were at par. 

Therefore, up until three players attacked the Hand of Noxus at the same time, Chen Mu was free to do whatever he wanted.

After diving under the tower and killing Garen once more, Chen Mu hit Level 11. 

Chen Mu was not sure if he understood what the Garen was thinking about. It was pretty obvious that Garen had the chance to run away from him, but Garen kept on turning back within his tower range. It was as though Garen wished to borrow the tower’s power to kill Chen Mu. 

Nevertheless, Chen Mu possessed a total of two thousand health points, and his armor had reached a hundred points. That hundred points worth of armor reduced incoming physical damage he took by fifty percent. 

A tower only had a hundred and sixty points of damage. That meant that the damage it would deal to the Hand of Noxus amounted to only eighty points. However, the tower itself was packed with twenty percent armor penetration—its damage increased by twenty percent each time one got hit.

Based on those calculations, even if Chen Mu chose to dive under the tower and lost two hundred health points, he could still withstand ten attacks. Garen was not at full health, and hence it did not take as long as that for Chen Mu to kill him. 

Chen Yifei began to feel annoyed as she watched Chen Mu transform into a big ‘boss’ at the top lane. 

“Big Brother, I want some kills too,” Chen Yifei said in a tender voice. Chen Mu was sure that if it had been anyone else but him she was talking to, the person’s poor soul would have felt their knees buckle beneath them.

“Go get them yourself,” replied Chen Mu indifferently. Such a technique would not work on him. Considering how she had used the same coquettish manner to reel in endless love and resources from their parents since young, Chen Mu was immune to her since a very long time ago. 

“You promised to teach me how to play, but all you’re doing is bullying newbies at top lane. You left your delicate little sister alone in bot lane; sad and lonely sister. What’s the point of me still being alive, boohoo…” Chen Yifei’s tone was resentful and sad. She even pretended to wipe off nonexistent tears from her eyes. 

“…alright. I’ll attack them until they’re nearly going to die and then let you reap the kills, okay?” asked Chen Mu. 

“Yep, alright alright.” Chen Yifei’s evil scheme was a success. Chen Yifei’s expression transformed immediately, and she started acting in a moe-manner. 

“Tell me how much damage your ultimate’s does,” said Chen Mu. 

“Hmm, let me check. 460 points.” Chen Yifei hovered her cursor over her ability and told Chen Mu the number that appeared. 

“Ok, when I tell you to cast your ultimate, do it, understand?” Chen Mu asked. 

“As long as I get to kill people, I’ll be sure to follow all of your instructions,” Chen Yifei said with a straight face. 

Thus began Chen Mu’s frantic operation of letting his younger sister reap his kills. He led Chen Yifei around to look for any enemies around them. Nevertheless, Chen Mu did not simply attack his enemies until their health was low. Instead, he carefully calculated their armor points and reduced their health to the right amount where Chen Yifei’s ultimate was able to end them before they could even turn back. Whenever he retreated, he allowed Chen Yifei to cast her ultimate and take the kill.

Many of Chen Mu’s opponents lamented about how shameless his Hand of Noxus was. It was clear as day that he was more than able to end his opponents in one go. However, he always chose to retreat whenever their health bar was low. Then, two short minutes after his opponents thought that they had escaped from the Hand of Noxus, the Sherrif’s symbol would appear on their heads! 

Chen Mu and his sister gave them hope and crushed the said hope almost instantly each time. How cruel; how mad. 

“Is the Hand of Noxus boosting his younger sister1?” asked Garen. 

“That’s right.” Chen Mu typed in the chatbox in reply to Garen. It was true that Chen Mu was bringing his younger sister around in the game. Nothing seemed wrong about it. However, Chen Mu was more concerned about how they knew about it. 

“No wonder. Great Lord is using his smurf 1to pretend to be a noob. Pity me for being bullied in a normal game,” Garen complained. 

“Bringing a younger sister with his smurf! Report him, report him!” 

“Shameless old dude. Giving the girl kills as he brings his younger sister, monster.” 

His opponents started to flood the chatbox, and Chen Mu read what they had typed cluelessly. Was it a big deal to bring one’s younger sister to a game? 

To be honest, Chen Mu would rather not give kills away in such a manner. His actions were mainly prompted by Chen Yifei’s slow response. She would usually cast her ultimate around two seconds after he had told her to. Hence, Chen Mu would shout at Chen Yifei before his final attack landed to ensure that the Sheriff would end their enemies for sure. 

After both of them had earned themselves the right to another hour at the cybercafe, Chen Mu thought that it was about time to end the match in a swoop. At last, as they had their final team fight at the high ground, the enemy team launched an unprecedented plan—nobody attacked the Hand of Noxus. Instead, they used everything they had to kill the Sheriff. “???” Chen Yifei typed three question marks in the chatbox. 

However, amidst the chaotic team fight, nobody replied her message. Noticing that his enemies were disregarding his presence completely, Chen Mu started swerving around madly for prey. 

Chen Mu dealt countless points of damage to his enemies and cast his ultimate whenever he had the opportunity to obtain a kill. No matter how many abilities his enemies cast or even if they exhausted all of their abilities on him, there was nothing they could do since they were dealing with a Level 18, fully equipped Hand of Noxus. 

Accompanied by the image of the Hand of Noxus leaping into the air like he was about to slash through a mountain, the penta kill banner majestically appeared on the screen.

Chen Mu’s continuous moves charmed everyone out of their pants. 

“666.” 

“The Hand of Noxus is good. You’re smurfing, aren’t you?” 

“Every Hand of Noxus’ dream!” 

Chen Mu’s teammates kept typing ‘six’ to comment on how strong his Hand of Noxus was.

“What does ‘666’ mean?” Chen Mu asked. 

“It means you played well; you’re very OP,” Chen Yifei explained. 

“Oh, I see.” Chen Mu did not think too highly about it. To him, it did not seem that hard to make an estimate based on the length of each of his enemies’ health bars before he cast his ultimate on them. Was that considered OP as well? 

“The Host must understand that the concept of weak and strong is subjective. Where you stand on the scale depends on the type of opponent you’re facing. The Host might have obtained a penta kill. However, it was due to your opponents’ limited understanding of the game that you appear to be strong to them and players of the similar level. If the Host matches up with opponents who are at the professional level, the Host will surely be slaughtered cruelly with his current skill level.” The System popped up at the worst time possible to strike down Chen Mu’s big head. 

“Congratulations on obtaining a penta kill, player number twenty-five. Reward: ten yuan’s worth of internet time,” announced a voice from the cybercafe’s P.A. system. 

“Perfect.” Forget about professional players, what was important at the moment was earning internet credit. 

In that single morning, after about three hours, Chen Mu had managed to obtain a total of twenty-five yuan in terms of internet credit. Chen Mu scored one penta kill and obtained ten consecutive kills four times. He was unable to achieve the required amount of kills in two matches as his opponents surrendered twenty minutes into each game. 

Before heading home, Chen Mu went to the front desk lady and asked, “Can I withdraw my internet credit as cash?”

The front desk lady only replied to him with a questioning look on her face. “???” 

She wondered whether the cogs in this guy’s brain were functioning properly. Why did it feel like he not only intended to go online for free but wanted to treat it as his gig? 

Once again, Chen Yifei dragged Chen Mu away and exited the cybercafe. Once they were out of the cybercafe, Chen Yifei said to Chen Mu in disbelief, “Don’t you think your love for money is too much? Which cybercafe would allow you to withdraw cash from your internet credit?” 

“You won’t know if you don’t try. Moreover, a gentleman who truly loves money will always make sure to earn it in the right way,” Chen Mu exclaimed with a straight face.