Julius Caesar

All I knew was that she was twenty, studying Psychology at the Queen Mary University of London. And of course, that she was a very renowned businessman's daughter. There were absolutely no pictures of her except when she was a kid, which obviously infuriated me because those wouldn't make me able to identify her what-so-ever. She had no social media or if she did, it wouldn't be by her real name.

I rubbed my temples exasperatedly and glared at the helpless, bright screen in front of me. What the hell would I tell Father? Ask him if he could send one of his men all the way to London to stalk her? Kidnap her to here, and then I'd handle the rest? Father knew that stalking people was never my speciality. I could, yes, interrogate them and figure if they were lying. I could kill them if I was asked to. But stalk them? Have to ask people about them and follow their pretty, little arses to kidnap them?

The thought itself was anxiety-inducing.

I slammed shut the laptop and lit a cigarette to calm down. I know it might appear petty that I was getting worked up about a problem that Father would have no other option but to handle, but I've had anger issues ever since I was sixteen when my mother passed away. And at twenty- five, it didn't seem to get any better. Any pathetic thing succeeded in infuriating me.

My father thought that my anger issues were a good thing, but I hated how anger could so very easily control my actions at certain times. And quite simply, I was meant to control, not to be controlled.

I sighed, thinking about the documents Ricardo stole from Father. Ricardo had spies that infiltrated our security defences to steal the documents, to Father's immense displeasure (he literally fired half of Gorj's workers at that time).

Father never told me what they were about. He said he didn't think it was still time for me to know. But I could guess a thing or two. I could tell that they weren't as related to Gorj as they were to Father himself. Because nothing ever bothers Father. Not a thing. Not a thing threatened him. But this time it was different.

This time, Father offered ten million dollars for the documents. That never happened, unless those documents might've literally cost Father's life. Not that I'd care, of course. They might've had the proof that almost everything we were doing had loopholes that Father couldn't actually 'cover'. Something that could end us all for good.

I didn't know, but I was awfully curious.

Julius Caesar was what Father named me. Yes, it is my first name with space in between. He said it signified 'power' which wasn't really odd given Father's immense fascination with names. He believed that names weren't just words. They were identities. Stories. He told me that arrogance was the death of the real Julius. He said I had to be very careful with whom I surround myself with and to make sure that I stripped everyone I know bare until I unravelled their ulterior motives.

He said that a man with power is a man with death as his shadow.

Mum, to me, was an undying source of love and warmth. Until the day she just collapsed when I was sixteen. She got diagnosed with adenocarcinoma- stomach cancer. And here's the thing with me and tragedy- I do not, whatsoever, accept it. I ignore its occurrence until it cannot be ignored anymore and swallows me whole.

The lawyers claimed that Mum's will stated that Father should get the company. Which he did. He definitely took care of it and made it grow. I was his right hand. All he had to do was command and I'd strike. I realized that I was no longer doing my 'job'- which included killing, fucking, threatening, etc.- to satisfy myself. I was doing it to prove to Father that I was something worth appreciating. That I was not a 'mistake' he was 'paying' for.

And no matter how much I would act like I didn't care. Deep down, Father's opinion about me mattered so much to the extent that I could literally do anything for him. Not for Gorj.

But I also realized that while I was constantly racing to satisfy Father, I was being dragged away by a darkness that magnified in the pit of my soul with every sin I committed. It was overwhelming at times.

I mean, I could've fought back and run away when I learned what Father actually was. What he did to succeed and become a multimillionaire. I had relatives and I knew people who could've cared for me. But I stayed back with him for some goddamned reason. And this was me paying for it.

And yes, I was too weak to resist his control. And I started to realize that I was his victim, not his right hand soon after my tenth kill. I was not doing what I wanted. I was being controlled by the promise of being something great in his eyes.

I learned to harden and man up against his cruelty which seemed to keep me more attached to him and what he does. He even gave me burns on my back every bloody birthday to signify how many years I had been a burden on him. But I still held on like a pathetic coward. I held on and forced myself to never think about it. I never allowed myself to think about it.

But here I was, thinking all about it now after his threat of enjailing me. About how pathetic and stupid this actually sounded after all that I'd done for him. How I wasn't doing anything about it but actually submitting more. Here I was, searching for a girl that my father might want to hurt. Here I was, listening to him again and again, like a goddamned broken track.

I shook my head, killed my cigarette, got off the bed in my boxers, and headed to the bathroom where I had a long bath. Audrey wasn't a morning bird so I always let her sleep.

When I was done, I wrapped a towel around my waist, swapped at the condensation on the mirror before letting my eyes travel to my slightly bruised cheekbone (thanks to Audrey, of course). Some platinum-blond hair strands, I got from Father, dangled in front of my blood-shot, dark-green eyes, I got from Mum. I puffed out a heavy breath and pushed back my hair, bringing a few water drops in my eyes.

My face was a heartbreaker in Mum's eyes and a weakness in Father's, I thought randomly as I brushed my teeth.

When I was done with my hygienic routine, I headed down to the kitchen where I prepared something for breakfast. Pancakes- the only thing I could do, really. I got to it, then took two plates, placed four pancakes on each with maple syrup and slid them on the dining table.

I then got back up to the bedroom to get something to wear and wake Audrey up.

I gently climbed on the bed and approached her slowly. She breathed softly as I rested my hand on her bare upper back and rubbed circles on her shoulder point with my thumb. I then brushed her dark hair that covered her face away with my hand and planted a kiss on her cheek.

"Audrey, wake up. Come on, love. I made us breakfast."

She groaned and shifted so that she laid on her back, facing me. I planted my hand on the mattress, caging her and taking a deep breath at her beauty as my hair fell over my face. She then fluttered her eyes open, rubbed them, and smiled. She closed them again.

"What time is it?" She then said in a raspy voice and I smiled.

"Ten."

She yawned, bringing her hand to her mouth while scratching her head with the other.

"Okay. I'm coming. Go."

"So that you'll sleep again. Very smart, Audie."

"Don't you trust me, Caesar?" She drawled and I smiled. It was only her that called me by the second part of my first name.

"Ha, no. Not when it comes to sleeping."

I got up and pulled her out of the bed.

"Wait! I'm not wearing anythi-" She said frantically, eyes wide and alert as I laughed.

"Nothing I haven't seen before. Get up!"

She giggled and finally got up, her hair a beautiful mess. She looked amazing just like that. I smiled, led her to the bathroom before closing the door at her complaining face and returning to the kitchen.

After a few minutes, she was down with a rosy robe hugging her body. Her wet hair swished above her shoulders while some stuck to her face. I smiled widely.

She sat across of me, yawned, and picked her fork.

"You're going to work today?" I asked her and she nodded. She worked as a secretary in some big office.

"I've had a three-week-long vacation in London. I can't not go."

I smiled and nodded.

"What about you? Where will you head?"

"Father. I have to tell him that I cannot find any relevant, useful information about Sam. After all, it's his company's documents. Not mine. He should be willing to help me with it."

"I can't really imagine how difficult it must be for you. I mean instead of being an architect, you do your dad's dirty jobs."

"I chose that-" I breathed with a nonchalant shrug and she smiled sadly.

"I wouldn't say that-" She said slowly, her light-brown eyes bright under the lights. "You didn't choose that, Caesar. You just chose your dad. You chose family. You wanted to be normal so bad- it just- it just turned to something else."

I looked down, poked a pancake with my fork, and shrugged again, my chest tightening a bit.

"I'm done-" I announced after a few minutes, got up with my dish, and reached to the sink to wash it.

My future was sure messed up, but it was no longer a new realization. It was just that and I accepted it. I ran the water and placed my plate beneath it. I watched the grease and crumbs get washed away and took in a deep breath as I recalled killing Ricardo again.

My ugliest memories know exactly when to resurface.

I then felt arms snake around my waist. My breath hitched before I felt my uptight insides melt a little. I then felt Audrey implant her face in the middle of my back.

I turned off the tab and turned to her. She looked up at me, her eyes twinkling and her chapped lips curling into a breathtaking smile. "It'll be okay, Julius Caesar. I promise you."

She then rested her palm on my chest, leaned in, and pecked my lips softly. I smiled weakly.

I had to go.

"I couldn't find anything useful about her-" I said, looking at him, tall and clad in a crisp, navy-blue suit and a white shirt. I then narrowed my eyes at America- the housekeeper- who stood in the corner, watching us in the living room.

She walked away.

Father looked at me with his fire for eyes. "And why is that?" He paced around, the right corner of his lip twitching. "You have the girl's name and univ-"

"And you have your men to do that for you. I do not hunt down people. This isn't my 'job', Father, and you know that very well. You know how terrible I am when it comes to dealing with people. Let alone stalking them!" I said infuriated.

I was starting to think that it was a punishment for killing Ricardo because I always attended to the delightful, gory ends where people were to be killed. Not deal with their insipid beginnings.

"After all," I continued. "-it's your company. It's your fault you didn't keep those documents in a safe enough place. You find a solution to your problem. Or at the very least, help me find one, dammit." I pressed.

Father chuckled, then laughed loudly, humorlessly as he walked toward the coffee table. I narrowed my eyes at him but ended up giving up and sighing. There was no use getting angry about this.

He then suddenly turned around and threw an ashtray in my direction. I dodged it before hearing it shatter against the wall as glass bits flew in every direction.

"What-"

"You, an utter waste of space and air. You dare challenge me?!" He thundered, his hands shaking, and I dared smirk. I was certainly not challenging him. I was stating facts.

"I'll harm you, son-" His voice was suddenly calm. "I'll cause you so much pain. But you know what? I'll teach you a lesson today. A new lesson in the booklet of lessons I gave you." He said as his angry grimace turned into a nasty smile.

I felt uneasy for a moment but shook it off with a smirk. What was the worst thing he could possibly do?

He then approached me until our faces were just a few inches apart. He grimaced, his countenance fierce and hard.

"Where were you son?" He demanded in an eerily placid voice. "Where on Earth were you? Why weren't you home yesterday?" He growled as his spit flew in my face's direction.

"Would you also fancy to know if I had ketchup with my chips? It's none of your damned business. Since when do you care about my affairs? " I said calmly, pressing on each word.

The next thing I knew was that I was slapped hard by the back of his left hand with all of his rings. I looked back at him with even more anger, wanting to hurt him. Wishing I could've.

"I care about them when they start affecting your performance. Something, something-" He panted as he reached in his suit's jacket pocket. My eyes widened as he took his gun out. "Something was distracting you yesterday. Something stopped you from achieving your goal."

I looked at his screwed face and still smiled, knowing it'd burn him on the inside.

"Summing-up, I just wanted to hear you scream-" He said simply, swinging his gun before finally pulling the trigger, surprising me. My eyes widened and time seemed to stop to seize the pain before unleashing it like wildfire down my arm. I staggered back on my feet and let out a groan, my eyes watering at the blood that oozed out of my shoulder.

He shot me in my left shoulder.

I clenched my fists and tried containing the pain by digging my fingernails in my palm as I reached for my shoulder with my right hand. I looked up at my father and still smiled through the searing pain. It was oh, so so painful.

I panted and let my eyes wander around the room, my vision blurry. My brain bells rang and feeling 'dizzy' was an understatement to my condition.

"BRING HER IN!" Father thundered as two men clad in suits came in, handling a fighting woman.

I looked up and my smile along with my tears fell immediately. I dropped on my knees as dread filled my core and, oh, my eyes- I really, really wanted to cry.

Audrey.

She was shut up by a piece of cloth. Her face was red and her veins bulged from her forehead and neck as she silently screamed. Tears streamed down her cheeks and stained her shirt. Her pencil skirt was ripped, exposing almost all of her left thigh while her hair stood out everywhere. Her knees were scratched and her feet bare.

Her teary eyes fell helplessly on me.

"What the hell?!" I said between clenched teeth, looking at Father who seemed to enjoy this a bit too much. "YOU CANNOT DO THAT!" I roared in plain, pounding pain, but he pointed his gun toward her, and I started whimpering.

"OKAY FATHER PLEASE DON'T- I'LL DO ANYTHING-ANYTHING-" I was sniffing like a baby and sweating from every breathing pore in my body.

"So you're the girl who stole my son's heart and distracted him from his life's purpose, huh? That's why you-" He turned to me. "-were too distracted to aim right. Right?" He said as she shook her head, looking at me with fresh tears pouring out of her eyes. She was begging me to do something. "That's the girl who invoked emotion in you, my son? Emotion that I taught you to get rid off? I thought you knew better than mess with our rules."

"PLEASE, FATHER. SHE HAS NO-NOTHING TO DO WITH- NOTHI-" I was begging, my ego a nothing. Audrey wasn't even here in Glasgow. She was in London. I was dying.

"But you really do have good taste, son. I'm impressed. Finally, something you're good at besides music." His calm voice was nails getting drilled in my skull.

"Father-" I felt the tears fall freely and shamelessly. "Dad, please. Dad- please. Please-"

"And she got you to beg me!" He said as if surprised. "You know?" He was directing the words at Audrey now. "My son never asked me for anything. Let alone beg me." My breathing was haphazard as I watched Audrey's unblinking eyes swim with tears. "You changed him and I do not like it. You are a major weakness. A distraction. Whoever distracts my son doesn't deserve to live, my dear -uh- Aurora? Audrey-?"

"FATHER I LOVE HER! I LOVE- You don't understand-" I tried getting up, but Father's left hand found my wound and pressed hard. I screamed in pain and collapsed back on my knees.

"Why are you weeping like a woman?" He asked solidly, mercilessly. "Since when do we weep on our lessons? Julius-" I was shaking my head. It was awful. I was going to barf. "Look. Focus, here. I want you to watch me do this. Now be very attentive-" He pointed his gun at her and grinned. I groaned and glanced at her defeated posture.

"No-no-no-" I said, getting up again to reach for Father's gun, but I literally felt his finger go through my injury. The pain was blinding me. I couldn't even breathe.

"Now, hey, hey, look-" He nudged me with his shoe as he pressed harder on the wound, forcing me to look up at him. "One-" He tilted his head. "Two." Audrey was shaking her head hysterically. "And-" My eyes widened in utter horror and helplessness.

BAM!

"Pretty three." My father let go of me and walked away.

I closed my eyes.