I, Qing Huan

The train journey of "Honeymoon Together" only lasted one day, and Nanyang and Qinghuan got off the train halfway through. Nanyang's body was in a state of trouble, and the program group was in chaos. She was sent off the train at the nearest Xingyuan Station. The ambulance had already been waiting at the gate of the train station and pulled her to Xingyuan City Hospital without hindrance. Tomorrow night after Cheng and Qi Yi heard about it, the ants on the hot pot were as anxious as they wanted to watch the past, but the show is still going on. The guests can’t lose four at once, they can only stay on the train and continue to participate. Recording.

Nanyang entered the emergency room, and as before, modern medicine could not find the cause at all, and could only use all means to give her a blood transfusion to ensure that her vital signs would not disappear. But because of this, the hospital's plasma was not enough, and all the blood bags in the surrounding hospitals were urgently allocated overnight to barely reach them.

Before long, the doctor came out and issued a critical illness notice. When Qing Huan took it, her hand was shaking and almost missed it.

How long did the light in the emergency room stay on, and how long Qing Huan and Sun Xuxue stood outside. Neither of them sits, nor can they remember to sit. I don't know how long it has been, Qing Huan raised her eyes like she was waking up from a dream, and looked at Sun Xuxue:

"Now, you still don't want to tell me the truth?"

Sun Xuxue looked terrified. She was young, and she only knew to obey grandpa's assignments. She had never been questioned like this.

"You must know what disease she got, right?" Qing Huan took a step closer to Sun Xuxue, her eyes burning. "You must also know how to treat it, right?"

"No, I...I don't know..." Sun Xuxue hurriedly shook her head, and couldn't help taking two steps backwards, "I really don't know..."

"If you really don't know anything, why would she read the will to you with confidence?" Qing Huan continued to approach aggressively, "So you don't know at all, but you can't say, can you?"

Sun Xuxue shook her head vigorously: "No, I don't have..."

"Xuxue," Qing Huan had forced her into the corner of the radiator, "Her crux... is related to me, isn't it?"

Sun Xuxue widened her eyes in surprise, and asked uncertainly: "Did you remember anything?"

A trace of dazedness slipped across Qing Huan's eyes, "Remember? You mean...Have I forgotten anything?"

"Don't force me..." Sun Xuxue almost cried, squatting down holding her head, "I can't tell you, the ancestor said, we can't interfere in this matter, we can't tell you anything, I can only rely on you to think about it, I can't say anything... Please, don't ask me, if you go on, Grandpa will beat me..."

"Rely on me... think for yourself?"

What does she want?

What did she forget?

There was a sudden tremor in his head, and he quickly flicked across a few blurred images in the dream. Nanyang, wearing a white robe, a snow-blue long sword, criss-crossing scars on the thin white body, nosebleeds, right hand, heart... everything is ready to come out of her chest, but she is only ready to show this shallow degree. Can't break through, still can't see through.

As a modern person who has been educated in materialism since she was a child, she has never believed in such vain things as gods and ghosts, let alone past and present. But she was pretty sure that in the past twenty-four years, she had never seen Nanyang. If there were any other memories between her and her, it must have been twenty-four years ago.

Is it related to the dream she has been having?

Is Nanyang's now exhausted body also related to her?

The door of the emergency room was suddenly opened. A nurse came out with a mobile phone and a Kindle in his hand. After looking around, he found Qinghuan and walked over to her and handed it to her: "This is a valuable item from the patient. I’ll keep it for you. Now a new round of rescue is underway, and I’ve been powered on for defibrillation.” The nurse’s words seemed cruel, but she reluctantly continued, “You should know the meaning of defibrillation, patient Her heartbeat has stopped. If the electrical defibrillation cannot be rescued, then these things...are the last things left by the patient. You have to keep them away."

Qing Huan's hands trembled too much. When she heard the nurse say "heartbeat stopped", her whole body shook, and the Kindle she had just received fell to the ground. With a sound of "pop", the Kindle's protective case was thrown away from the main unit.

A pile of beige things fell out. It was obviously sandwiched between the protective case and the Kindle all the year round. It was neatly pressed like paper, but the surface was finely sealed, and it seemed to be a well-preserved antique.

Qing Huan frowned, hesitated, then bent down and picked up the pile of beige paper. Touching the layer of smooth protection made on the paper, a strange emotion filled his brain. She shook her hands and carefully opened the stack of paper little by little.

The length of the paper is very large, with ugly and twisted traditional Chinese calligraphy written on it. I don't know how much pain the person who wrote it endured, but even though the characters are ugly, they have written this full one.

Qing Huan was trembling all over, her emotions began to be out of control, but she still forced herself to focus on the paper——

.

"I don't know when I will die, I only know that I really don't have much time left. My sanity is chaotic most of the time, and I don't know what I did all day long. I know well, Maybe it’s really goodbye to you this time. My life should come to an end."

"There are some things that I don't want to say to you until I'm about to die. The farewell words must be advanced enough to be complete enough. I'm afraid I won't have time to say these words, so I swallowed one last breath."

"Knowing that death is approaching me day by day, I am sad. I am not afraid of death. Man is mortal. The passing of life is nothing but the reincarnation of heaven. Everything is the same. What I am sad is that I will never see the one I love again. people."

"I can't bear you, I'm not willing, how can I be willing."

"Sometimes I think, I prefer you to die before me, let you break your last breath in my arms, you are also very consummate in this life. Then all the pain and despair of bereaved wife are left to me, you It’s better to fall asleep in peace. I have always wanted to protect you, just as you protected the young, embarrassed, unbearable, and humble me back then."

"As the world calls it, old grace is like rose water, dripping on Luo Yi to the fragrance of death. As early as when you rescued me, I was planning to repay you for the grace of a lifetime."

"Master, do you say that in this life, who does not experience pain and torture? It's like the sky is always raining, and the mud is always dirty. But I have this life, and I am willing to fight my life to stop everything belonging Your suffering."

"Sigh, I have no time."

"I once told you on Kunlun Mountain and in the tomb of my mother that if one day I die, I will burn my bones in a fire, and you will bring the ashes with you. I am actually very selfish, and I cannot bear you at all. Forget me, I want you to remember me for the rest of your life, even if I am turned to ashes, I still have to follow you. Even if I am dead and dead, I will never live up to the vow of life and death."

"I'm really sorry to you, to a lot of people. But fate has set this farce long ago, from when I was born, from when I met you. Northern punishment, random flowers, burning the sky, I walked this way, and I continued once There is no chance to say no. I have been a joke in my entire life, and it has caused people's resentment in vain. It is all fate, and it is a tragedy created by the destiny of the heavens. I have no choice but to bear it."

"And the only thing I have ever done is to fall in love with you, the most rebellious, and the least worthless thing in this life, and this love will not end until the end of my life. Although I can't accompany you forever, but I have been with you all my life. In the past ten years, I have never missed you a day and missed you. The things I have said to hurt you are all lying. You must forgive me."

"After I die, I also hope you will erect a burial mound for me. The prefix of my wife must be engraved on the tombstone. I lied to you all the time. In fact, we have already visited the church. It's really unfair."

"You just need to understand that you are my righteous wife, and so am I."

"I owe a lot to others in this life. To myself, I failed to live safely and long; to my father, I failed to fulfill my filial piety; to my wife, I failed to accompany the white head. The saddest thing is that a person has died without his heart. Regret."

"It is a pity that I was restrained by many factors during my lifetime and failed to travel this great river and mountains properly. If you can, you have to take my ashes and travel thousands of miles of mountains and rivers to see the different scenery of different regions for me. You. If you believe in reincarnation, I will be somewhere in this world, waiting for you to find me."

"If you can't find it, you don't have to wait for me. After all, how long can a person wait for those long times?"

"Can the heavy snow that can wait until Northern Punishment never fall from spring to autumn?"

"Can you wait until the islands in the East China Sea are submerged by the horizon?"

"Can you wait until the world has risen from all over the world to a split, and then stability can be restored from turmoil?"

"Can you wait...you can't remember me anymore?"

"What I regret most is that there is nothing you can grant in this world."

"If there is an afterlife, let you live forever."

.

If there is an afterlife...

Afterlife?

What is the afterlife?

Whose afterlife?

There is no North Penalty in the world, the sea level of the East China Sea sinks and rises, and the world has been divided and combined countless times. In those long hours, who has been waiting for so long?

Qing Huan shook his head vigorously, trying to awake the chaotic brain, but didn't want to shake it, and was directly thrown out of a string of blood beads on the ground. Before she could react, Sun Xuxue noticed it first. After a brief loss of consciousness, Sun Xuxue took out a stack of paper in a panic and shivered and stuffed it to her, her voice filled with fear:

"You, you have a nosebleed!"

Qing Huan wiped her nose with the back of her hand, staring blankly at the scarlet on her hand, an unusually familiar feeling came to her heart. It seemed that from beginning to end, she was the one who should have nosebleeds. In the past years, it was just that the person inside was punished for her.

Sun Xuxue hurriedly called for the doctor when she saw the appearance of Nanyang's nosebleeds.

She shouted too exaggeratedly, and there was a panic of footsteps in the corridor of the hospital. The nurse behind even took the stretcher. The doctor at the front rushed over and hurriedly asked what was going on. Sun Xuxue tremblingly pointed to Qinghuan with a nosebleed. The doctor helped Qing Huan perform a simple examination on the spot, and a group of nurses behind him were nervously ready to go. After a while, the doctor pushed his glasses and glared at Sun Xuxue: "It's just a nosebleed, you have such a big reaction. What are you doing?"

Sun Xuxue was stunned for a long time, and pointed to the emergency room: "The rescuer also had a nosebleed."

"The situation is different," the doctor waved, and motioned to the nurses behind him to go back home. "Miss Zhu is just too tense and a little angry. Just take some toilet paper and block it."

Sun Xuxue asked again: "Really all right?"

"It's okay," the doctor took out a packet of napkins from the pocket of the white lab coat and stuffed Sun Xuxue, "it won't flow in a few minutes."

Holding her nose, Qing Huan folds back the letter paper in her hand hastily, put it back between the Kindle and the protective cover, and nods politely to the doctor: "Trouble." She buried her head, stuffed everything in her hand to Sun Xuxue, and said. Saying "I go to the toilet", he hurriedly left.

In the toilet, she leaned on the sink, turned on the faucet and held the water next to her chin to wash. Her nose was still bleeding, but it didn't flow much. After two minutes of washing, she returned to normal.

She raised her eyes and looked at herself in the mirror with water drops on her face. After a long time, she felt strange. The eyes are still those eyes, and the nose is also the same nose, but there is something wrong with it, and there is something wrong.

She closed her eyes and tried her best to recall the letter just now, as well as those dreams before, recalling her words and deeds in the dream. After a long time of immersion, she was a little confused about who she was, but felt that many voices in her mind were buzzing, some strangers and familiar ones, the most familiar was just Nanyang's voice. But in the vagueness, Nanyang's attitude towards her talking to her seemed to be different. It was completely the tone of the elders to the younger ones, and she always loved to walk around Nanyang's side, only two words back and forth in her mouth.

She should be calling Nanyang, but she was pretty sure that she was not calling Nanyang.

Because she knew subconsciously that it was not proper to call Nanyang by name.

What does she call her?

What should she call her?

Is it the two words shouting back and forth in that old letter?

Qing Huan was in a trance, and suddenly heard the sound of running footsteps outside the toilet. After a while, Sun Xuxue's head popped in and said with red eyes: "Zhuzhu, she has come out of the emergency room!"

Qing Huan was in a trance for a moment.

Who is Zhu Zhu?

Ah... yes, it's herself.

"Is she out of danger?" Qing Huan asked hurriedly.

"Um! It's okay," Sun Xuxue wiped the tears from the corners of her eyes. "Didn't the nurse sister say that her heartbeat stopped, but after you had a nosebleed, she suddenly stopped bleeding, and new blood could finally exist in her body. Here, the heartbeat slowly recovered after the bleeding stopped. Now he has been transferred to the intensive care unit, but the person has not yet woken up. Would you like to see her?"

Qing Huan went straight out of the toilet, and Sun Xuxue hurriedly followed and took her to the ward in Nanyang.

The ward is a separate room, with separate beds and matching sofas, and the decoration is more delicate than the general ward. On the lonely hospital bed, Nanyang was sunk in the snow-white bedding. The forearm on the quilt seemed to be paler than the cover. Through the thin layer of soft skin, you could vaguely see the dense small blood vessels underneath. Her hands had been cut through the back of her hand before, and there was no way to get a needle there, so the doctor put a needle on the inside of her wrist, and there was a bag of bright red plasma hanging on the infusion stand.

A sensor clip of blood oxygen saturation was clamped on Nanyang's index finger, and the instrument next to it showed normal index numbers, and everything showed her current state of temporary stability.

Both Qing Huan and Sun Xuxue breathed a sigh of relief. Sun Xuxue looked at the phone. It was already eight o'clock in the morning, thinking that everyone hadn't eaten, and Nanyang woke up and was hungry after a while, so she ran out to buy breakfast.

When I left, he closed the door intimately.

Standing at the door, Qing Huan stared at Nanyang for a long time. She was in a mess now, she couldn't understand anything. She thought that there were some things that Nanyang had to tell her in person. No matter how bizarre the explanation Nanyang gave her, she would believe it now. She is only one truth from Nanyang's mouth to find her true self, no matter how mysterious and mysterious the truth is.

But if Nanyang really wakes up, she has to be more patient and gentler. If Nanyang is still reluctant to say it, she also has to control herself well and not unconsciously force Nanyang.

She still remembers the appearance of Nanyang when she fainted in her arms. She never thought that one day she would see Nanyang like that, fragile as a match half-burned and half-extinguished in a violent wind, so strong a person shrank. Ask yourself to save her in your arms. She had no doubt that it would be the last hug between them, and for the first time in her life, she felt death so close. There is a saying: people die like a lamp. She was holding her at that time, as if she was holding a lamp with no protective cover at all, even if she covered the flame with her fingers, she couldn't stop the wind flowing in between her fingers.

Fortunately, she is still alive now, they still have many possibilities. Some things must be resolved, but it can be slower and slower. As long as Nanyang can stay healthy by her side, she is willing to spend the rest of her life waiting for that answer.

Qinghuan leaned on the bed, held Nanyang's hand, buried his face in Nanyang's palm, and felt the temperature there, tears streaming down unconsciously.

I don't know how long it has passed, the palms suddenly trembled, and the person on the bed was breathing slightly and seemed to wake up.

After a while, a hoarse familiar voice came from the bedside: "...Qing Huan?"

Qing Huan raised his head dimly with teary eyes, and looked at Nan Yang's half-sniffing eyes without saying a word, unable to speak a thousand words.

Nan Yang was also a little unconscious, his eyes were still hazy, and he tentatively bent his finger, hesitatingly asked: "Am I... still alive?"

Qing Huan took the hand that she was trying to bend, opened her mouth, and stopped talking. She wanted to call her, but she found that she couldn't call her by her name at all. Her brain told her that she shouldn't be called by name. But what does she want to call her?

The fundus of her eyes slid through the momentary blankness, and according to the instinct of the body, she pulled the dust-covered old soil, the blood of her whole body was like the roots of the tree at the bottom of the floor, and she squirmed as her lips squirmed.

Finally, she knocked her lips and teeth with difficulty, following the habit engraved in her memory, she whispered out the two words that had been buried deep in her heart:

"...Master...Father?"

Nan Yang opened her eyes quickly, her light brown pupils were bloodshot, she looked at Qing Huan incredulously, her voice trembling violently:

"What do you call me?"