I, Qing Huan

Boom

The train uttered another heavy scream, accompanied by the bright and extinguished lightning outside the window, making it difficult to distinguish whether it was thunder or the movement of wheels rubbing the sleepers.

The air seems to be frozen, and the dust floating here will be frozen into ballast.

Sun Xuxue stepped out with a wink, standing at the entrance of the carriage to catch the wind. Although no one was shaking back and forth in the middle of the night, she could persuade people to go to the other side if she wanted to go to the toilet, lest the ancestors They were disturbed.

Nan Yang stared at Qing Huan closely. He didn't speak for a long time. There were too many things in his heart. The entangled explanations couldn't go up and down in his throat. He couldn't find a word to break the silence.

Qing Huan seemed to think she was a little ridiculous, and the corners of her lips curled up again, with a choking voice in her voice: "Say, what else do you want to keep for me?"

Nanyang didn't look away, didn't dare to look at her, only whispered softly: "...I'm sorry."

"This is what you have been reluctant to tell me?" Qinghuan smiled and shrugged, "This is what you think, you are hiding from me for my good?"

Nanyang gritted his teeth, the pain in his chest never stopped, and it was raging even more monstrously at this moment.

"Don't say if you are sick, you have to be uncomfortable, even if it threatens your life..." Qing Huan's tears flowed from the corner of her eyes, her voice trembled, "No, it's not life threatening, but it has already caused you Your life is exhausted, right? Otherwise, what will you make?"

Qing Huan took a step forward, rubbing the iron with her fingertips, and a bloodstain crawling under her fingers, "You just want to bear it like this, until one day, I can't find you suddenly, and then I see you again. At the time, was it your dead body, and the cold audio of the property distribution you left me?"

"..." Nan Yang held back a puff of blood from his throat, covering his heart, and frowning tightly.

"Do you think I will be very moved? I was so moved to cry?" There was a bit of bitterness in the laughter, "Or do you think that I will take the house and money you left, and I will find someone to start a new one happily." life?"

"No wonder, no wonder you have been so abnormal these past two days. You are not reserved or conservative. People in the public hug me and do it with me in public places like train sleepers. Do you think you are giving me the last gift? Looking back on these days, I will laugh happily, right?"

Nan Yang held her chest and bent down, and the accumulated pain and congestion walked around her body, making her unable to speak.

"You speak," Qing Huan cried out with a smile, "you just leave it to me, don't you?"

Nan Yang squinted her eyes and looked at her. There was already a ghost in her sight. She tried her best to say something, and Qing Huan asked her to say that even if she didn't know what to say, she had to say something. But she didn't dare to open her mouth, she was not sure whether the blood she vomited would splash on Qing Huan's clothes.

"Nanyang... why don't you understand?" Qing Huan's tears soaked her entire face, and the tears condensed on her chin, dripping on the black skirt, "Why don't you understand my feelings for you? Believe it or not If you can, I can't wait...I can't wait to die for you..."

——If there is a day when danger comes, I am willing to die for you.

Nanyang finally couldn't help it, turned his head and coughed up a large mouthful of blood. The bright red blood splashed on the white shirt, spreading a dazzling red crack.

The scene in front of me was vague, as if there was a scene that had appeared countless times in my dream.

The same face, with tears, in order to protect her life, sent her heart to the tip of Luoshuang's sword.

The memories of the past overlapped with the dreamlike reality. The pain caused her consciousness to start to trance. She held her chest and knelt down on one knee, her eyes were distorted, as if she could no longer hold on.

When she leaned forward, it was not the cold ground that greeted her, but a warm and soft embrace.

Qing Huan stepped forward, knelt down beside her embarrassedly, and hugged her tightly into her arms, her **** fingers clasped tightly on her back, almost rubbing her into her own blood.

She hugged her and cried and said, "Why are you so annoying... Why can't I be mad even when I am angry? Why am I being tricked into this way, I still can't really get angry..."

Nan Yang tried her best to grasp the corner of Qing Huan's clothes. Even at this time, she still tried her best to keep her body straight, afraid that all the weight would be placed on Qing Huan.

But no matter how hard she tried to support it, she couldn't hold it anymore. The head rested weakly on Qing Huan's shoulders, her chin was slightly raised, and the blood from the nose and mouth flowed down her chin to the chin and the base of her ears, and then snaked from the base of the ears into the collar of the shirt. Soon, half of his shoulders and body were dyed red, lined with plain white cloth, as if a bowl of dazzling and thick paint was poured on the boundless snow.

Qing Huan had never seen anyone who could shed so much blood. Her eyes were scared and panic. She cried more fiercely. She buried her face blurred by tears in her shoulders, sobbing and saying intermittently, "We No recording, get off the car now, I'll take you to the hospital, don't have any trouble... I beg you, I can't live without you... Nanyang, don't leave me alone, I beg you, don't let me alone People are alive, I... those who can't survive, those who really can't survive... Please..."

Can't live?

Yes, the person I love the most is dead, really can't live.

After Qing Huan died, how did she survive these three thousand years?

If she knew from the beginning that she would be exhausted in her ninety-ninth century, she would definitely not enter her life. She clearly knew what it was like to watch her beloved die in front of her eyes, but she still wanted Qinghuan to take such a risk. She thought that they had only been married for just a few months, and even if they were separated, they would no longer be as desperate as they were three thousand years ago. But the depth of love has never been related to time.

If it is confirmed that they are each other, it will last for thousands of years at a glance.

In fact, she also thought about whether she should take the initiative to guide Qing Huan to recall the past, as long as Qing Huan can remember, these problems will no longer exist. But she was also afraid that before Qing Huan and the two generations of personalities did not actively overlap, she rashly mentioned her previous life, which would make Qing Huan doubt the meaning of her existence in this life, and wonder whether Nan Yang liked the completely strange Qing Huan three thousand years ago. , Or the light joy of growing up in modern society in this life. So Nanyang can only wait, wait for Qinghuan to remember her past life, let her witness the stories she walked with her with her own eyes, wait until she is convinced that her ninety-ninth generation exists, and that she is her in the first life. She is the rabbit, she is the spider, and she is also her now. Only when she finishes her ninety-ninth lives by herself, can she go through the rest of her life without any complaints.

Waiting without knowing the end is the most desperate waiting.

A journey with no end in sight is like a train that never knows when it will arrive. It can only be bumped with its bumps, and move along with it, without knowing when to stop or when it consumes fuel. Exhausted, stopped in the barren valley, turned into a steel withered bone that would never sound the horn again.

Will this forced stop be the last time?

Nanyang grasped Qing Huan's wrist tightly, his eyes flushed, and he murmured what his brain had never screened before:

"I don't want to die, really... don't want to die... save, save me..."

Obviously she was still lying in the hospital bed a few days ago, openly saying with Mei Zhongli and others: The death of life is not the reincarnation of the heavens, all things are the same, and people are mortal. To die. But when she was really facing the threat of death, especially when she was held in her arms by Qinghuan, she realized that she really didn't think so much.

Not reconciled.

How can you be willing?

After three thousand years of watchmanship, this is the ending. How can she stare? !

How can she rest assured to leave Qinghuan alone in this world? If she died, would Mei Zhongli take care of Zhu's family and Qinghuan as before? The entertainment circle is so dark, how can Qinghuan get a way out? Today Bai Jinqiu still embarrassed her. She is so kind. If she doesn't have herself, who can stand in front of her to protect her?

I haven't finished the recipe yet.

They hadn't had time to take a look at this wonderful river.

There will also be weddings that have not been held.

Also buy her a unique diamond ring.

And have a child with her that belongs to them both.

I really don't want to die.

Nan Yang closed his eyes in the warm embrace, and lost consciousness with half of his begging words in his mouth.

The moment she plunged into darkness, she felt the person's hand tightly squeezing her shoulder, so hard, as if to crush her.

As if crushed, you can hold it.

For the past three thousand years, she never dreamed. Maybe it's because this body is in the state when she died. She was a person who died three thousand years ago. The dead can't dream, so she doesn't dream.

But this time, she had a dream.

She dreamed that she was wearing a white ancient costume, just like she used to look like in Beifangshan. The pure white long sleeves fluttered in the breeze, and the cuffs and robe corners were embroidered with quaint white cranes. She walked on a long and straight path, which grew so long that she could not see the end. Plum trees were planted on both sides of the road. When the wind blew, the petals filled the sky.

She looked down at herself and found that her heart was bleeding, and the blood dyed her white clothes mottled. Her right hand was bleeding, and the wound was still blooming. The hot blood flowed down her wrist to the fingertips, and then dripped from the fingertips to the ground. Behind her was a red line pressed against the dirt road, scarlet blood reflected With petals all over the sky, strangely harmonious.

She was walking on the road, not knowing why she was walking here, or where she was going.

She just knew that she was going to go forward and kept walking.

Something must be waiting for her at the end. The thing she has always wanted the most.

Enduring the pain, enduring loneliness, alone, the only thing that accompanies her is a greasy jade gourd on her waist, which contains the ashes of her little apprentice.

Later, the plum trees on both sides gradually withered, turning into a dead branch with teeth and claws. Later, the withered trees turned into tombstones. The names of every visitor in her three thousand years of life were engraved on the monuments. Among them, the name of one person was carved ninety-eight times.

The road under your feet was a dirt road at first. Slowly, the dirt road became a stone road, the stone road became a blue brick road, and the blue brick road became an asphalt road. Wearing ancient costumes, she is getting more and more out of place. She walks here as if a tropical fish swims into the Arctic Ocean and a brush falls on a canvas. She is an anomaly independent of the world in front of her.

The loneliness standing alone across the world is the most painful loneliness. She could clearly see all kinds of people standing right away, but she clearly understood that no one in this world could understand her life.

No one comes, no one returns.

I don't know how long she walked, she finally came to the end of the road.

At the end is a winding and gentle river bank, and when you look around, the dark river water is full of gentle and fine ripples. The end of the road naturally stretched into the river water, announcing her ending and guiding her to complete the final journey.

She smiled relieved.

It turns out that death is the disappearance of water in the water.

fair enough.

It is also a relief.

She closed her eyes, and when she was about to take the last step, she suddenly heard someone calling her behind her:

"Nanyang."

She took a halt, turned her head slowly, and saw a woman with wavy eyes standing behind her. The woman stepped forward and reached out to hold her bleeding right wrist, tears in her eyes:

"Wait for me again."

"I know you have worked hard, sorry, I made you wait too long."

"It's fast, it's really fast, wait for me again."

"Please, wait for me."