How to Survive As a Villain

SIDE STORY 3: You’re Ignoring Me.

Xiao YuAn had never seen Yan HeQing lose his composure before. Xiao YuAn was so frightened by this, that he almost fell off the recliner. As Xiao YuAn hurriedly got up, he half-kneeled in front of the bed to hold Yan HeQing’s hand: “Yan-ge! Wake up, I’m here, I’m here!”

Right when the dawn was breaking in the East, and the sky was getting brighter and brighter, Yan HeQing slowly opened his eyes after hearing Xiao YuAn’s voice.

It’s said that when people get sick, even their feelings will become fragile.

Yan HeQing’s eyes were bloodshot, but it was unknown whether it was because of the fever, or if he was scared of the nightmare he had just now.

Xiao YuAn breathed softly as he said: “You’re finally awake. Are you alright?”

However, Yan HeQing didn’t reply. He simply stared at Xiao YuAn, who was right in front of him, as if he didn’t know who Xiao YuAn was. Staring at him with a blank stare.

Xiao YuAn lightly placed his forehead against Yan HeQing’s forehead, only to find that it was no longer burning with fever. After Xiao YuAn reassuringly raised the corners of his mouth, he got up and stepped back.

At that instant, Yan HeQing instinctively reached out to wrap his arms around Xiao YuAn’s waist, hugging him closely.

Xiao YuAn didn’t say anything, and simply let Yan HeQing hug him. The warmth of a real touch dispelled the bitterness of the cold and the pain he felt on that day. 

When Xiao YuAn felt that the arms around him loosened slightly, Xiao YuAn placed his hand beside Yan HeQing, half supporting his body, and leaned down to look at Yan HeQing: “Yan-ge, did you have a nightmare? A nightmare in which I didn’t want you anymore?”

Yan HeQing nodded very gently, as the red in his eyes seemed to deepen a little.

Xiao YuAn hurriedly coaxed him: “I’m here, don’t worry.”

Yan HeQing nodded again, stroking Xiao YuAn’s back with his hand, only to press Xiao YuAn back into his arms.

After a night of tossing and turning, Xiao YuAn was way too sleepy to care if their current positions would make Yan HeQing uncomfortable. As he laid on Yan HeQing’s chest, listening to the sound of his heartbeat, Xiao YuAn closed his eyes.

The next day, Yan HeQing’s illness was mostly cured. Although Yan HeQing was still coughing, he no longer had a fever. Early in the morning, Xiao YuAn went to the Imperial Court on behalf of Yan HeQing, to meet with the Ministers. 

The Imperial Kitchen sent a light porridge over, but due to the illness, Yan HeQing’s appetite was very poor. After drinking two mouthfuls, he ordered everyone to withdraw. The Imperial Physician at the side wanted to say something, but stopped midway. In the end, the Imperial Physician finally dared to advise: “Your Majesty, you should eat a bit more. If you don’t fill your stomach, it’ll be difficult for you to get better….”

Yan HeQing frowned gently and said: “I know my own limits.”

The Imperial Physician didn’t dare to offend the Emperor by advising again, so he replied submissively.

However, it didn’t take long for this matter to spread to Xiao YuAn’s ears.

As soon as Xiao YuAn left the Imperial Court, Tian Xiang ran over to complain about how the Emperor wasn’t taking care of his body and how he refused to eat. Then, she said: “Jun Wang, why don’t you make some snacks for His Majesty? If you’re the one making them, His Majesty will certainly eat it!”

Xiao YuAn’s heart was moved, but he suddenly frowned.

Tian Xiang asked: “What’s wrong, Your Highness?”

Xiao YuAn, who knew himself more than anyone, said bitterly: “My cooking is very bad. It’s the kind that can poison people to death.”

Tian Xiang: “Just because you can’t cook, it doesn’t mean that you can’t make good snacks.”

Xiao YuAn said: “I don’t know how to make snacks either.”

Tian Xiang said: “I do! I can teach you!”

Xiao YuAn waved his hand and walked to the Imperial Kitchen with Tian Xiang: “Let’s go! Who says that such an ideal, moral, cultured and disciplined CEO from the 21st century like me, can’t also be good at cooking?!”

Then, Xiao YuAn proved it with his strength, talent and hard work….!

That he’s really not good at cooking.

After getting his face covered in white flour and egg whites, Xiao YuAn set the steamer in the Imperial Kitchen on fire.

A group of servants in the Imperial Kitchen panicked as they hurried to pour water on the steamer. Xiao YuAn was being protected in the back, and as he tried to pass through the crowd, he shouted with determination: “The sugar cakes I made are still in there! Don’t throw water onto it!”

Tian Xiang stared dumbfounded at the steamer that was on fire, thinking: ‘Sugar cake?! What sugar cake?! I just taught you how to make rabbit-shaped dough, but you put Wotou窝头 wō tóu; Is a type of steamed bread made from cornmeal in Northern China. Wotou literally translates to ‘nest’, since it resembles a bird’s nest with its hollow cone shape. Looks like THIS.'>1 in the steamer! That’s! That’s impressive!’

When the fire was finally extinguished, the cakes in the streamer were naturally no longer edible. Xiao YuAn sighed and said: “Ha, there’s no way I can surprise Yan-ge now.”

Tian Xiang looked at the dark, floppy and wet Wotous in the steamer as she thought to herself: ‘More than a pleasant surprise, it’ll be a terrifying one.’

Although she was still very much shocked, Tian Xiang couldn’t bear to see Xiao YuAn feeling so frustrated, so she tried to comfort him: “Don’t feel discouraged, Jun Wang. We can come back tomorrow! Practice makes perfection, and you will definitely be able to make sugar cakes!”

Xiao YuAn nodded his head and clenched his fist with confidence: “Yeah! You’re right!”

The Chief Cook in charge of the Imperial Kitchen immediately turned pale.

‘Miss Tian Xiang! If you want to kill me, just say it! You don’t have to beat around the bush like that!’

After cleaning the egg whites and flour off his face, as well as changing into clean clothes, Xiao YuAn walked towards the Imperial Bedchamber. Since he spent most of his day in the Imperial Kitchen, by the time he returned to the bedchamber, the moon was already shining in the night starry sky.

Xiao YuAn wandered at the gates of the bedchamber for a long time.

Since Yan HeQing hadn’t recovered from such a serious illness yet, and was still lying dizzy on the bed, Xiao YuAn was supposed to accompany him today. But Xiao YuAn ended up spending most of his day in the Imperial Kitchen, in order to make sugar cakes and snacks.

Xiao YuAn wanted to surprise Yan HeQing, so he didn’t want to tell Yan HeQing about Tian Xiang teaching him how to make snacks. In case Yan HeQing asked him about it, what lie should Xiao YuAn say?

“Why don’t I….” Xiao YuAn muttered to himself: “Tell him that Chen Ge wanted to discuss what’s been going on in the army recently, and that it took us a long time?”

At that moment, Chen Ge, who was in the barracks, sneezed all of a sudden. When a young soldier next to him heard him, the young soldier turned his head and exclaimed: “General Chen! You’ve offended Tai Sui, now disaster is on its way太岁 tài suì; Tai Sui refers to the stars that are in front of Jupiter. Folklore has it that Tai Sui is short for (太岁神 tài suì shén) Tai Sui God, or Cyclic Gods, who help the Jade Emperor in taking care of the welfare of the Mortal World (Chinese Zodiac). In Taoism, those whose Chinese Zodiac offends, disagrees or conflicts with the Tai Sui of the year, will have a fleeting disadvantage and trouble in everything.'>2!”

Chen Ge rubbed his nose as he slapped the young soldier: “What divine auspicious bullshit are you talking about?”

Although Xiao YuAn pondered over that idea several times, in the end, he gave up trying to drag Chen Ge under the water. Yan HeQing knew more about the barracks than Xiao YuAn, and if he wasn’t careful, Yan HeQing would find out about his lie. So he might as well not say it. Xiao YuAn could only pray that Yan HeQing wouldn’t ask him about where he had been all day.

Xiao YuAn finally calmed down and walked into the bedchamber, pretending as if nothing had happened. The candles in the inner room were brightly lit and flickering slightly. Inside, Yan HeQing was sitting on the bed, reading a memorial.

Yan HeQing was so focused on reading, that he didn’t even notice that Xiao YuAn had walked in.

Xiao YuAn coughed lightly, and Yan HeQing quickly raised his head.

Xiao YuAn said sarcastically: “Yan-ge, you’re supposed to rest when you’re sick. Don’t read the memorials.”

Yan HeQing ‘mm-hmmed’ gently.

“You…. Do you want to drink hot water? Do you want me to bring you a cup?” Xiao YuAn had nothing else to say.

Yan HeQing nodded: “Yes, I’ll drink.”

While Xiao YuAn went to pour a cup of hot water, Yan HeQing covered up the memorials in his hands, finding that he had been ‘reading’ them upside down. As he calmly put them aside, Yan HeQing looked up to see Xiao YuAn coming over with the water.

After Yan HeQing took the water, and took two sips, he wanted to say something, but stopped midway.

Xiao YuAn took a step ahead and said: “Yan-ge, it’s so late in the night, and you’re still sick. Why don’t we go to sleep right away?”

Yan HeQing ‘hmmed’, nodded his head, and didn’t say anything else.

At that, Xiao YuAn relaxed.

‘He didn’t ask!’

‘Alright, wait for me to make the best pastries tomorrow! Then I’ll explain it to him properly.’

However, the next day, not only did Xiao YuAn make a mess in the Imperial Kitchen, he was also unable to make the cakes.

On the third day, he couldn’t make it.

On the fourth day, he still couldn’t make it.

On the fifth day, the Chief Cook of the Imperial Kitchen took a straw rope, determined to hang himself from the ceiling beam in front of the Kitchen God灶王爷 zào wáng yé; In ancient times, almost every family had a Kitchen God shrine in their kitchens. It’s said that this God was appointed by the Jade Emperor, and he was worshipped because he was responsible for managing the stoves in each house.'>3, but he was saved by a group of attendants, who kindly advised him that he should look at the bright side…. The Empress would only be here for a few days.

In those five days, despite the loss of appetite, Yan HeQing’s illness was mostly cured, which meant that he would be able to attend Court the next day. As a self-respected Tyrannical President, Xiao YuAn naturally doesn’t want to show his disgraceful side to the people he loves. Therefore, Xiao YuAn planned to hide his painful failure, and was determined to stay away from the Imperial Kitchen from now on, in order to cure his fragile heart.

These days, in order to not spread Yan HeQing’s illness to Xiao YuAn, they had been sleeping on separate beds. Due to this, when it was time to sleep, Xiao YuAn walked to the other bed in the room out of habit.

Yan HeQing, who had been ‘neglected’ for five days, stared closely at Xiao YuAn, who was yawning as he walked away from him. Yan HeQing said: “Today, the Imperial Physician said that my illness has been cured….”

Unexpectedly, Xiao YuAn didn’t react!

Since Xiao YuAn was feeling so frustrated with the fact that he couldn’t make any edible sugar cake, he didn’t pay attention to Yan HeQing’s tone. As Xiao YuAn waved his hand, he said: “Oh, that’s great!”

Yan HeQing: “….”

Right when Xiao YuAn put a hand on the edge of the bed ready to lie down, he suddenly heard Yan HeQing faintly say: “Are you tired of me….?”

Xiao YuAn’s elbows and knees shook as he fell directly to the ground.

YHQ recovered!!! ٩( ᐛ )( ᐖ )۶🎉🎉🎉

It’s so cute that XYA wanted to cook pastries for hubby 😭🥺💖💖 but the fact that he’s a complete disaster… I’m sorry but it’s so funny I can’t 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣

Support me on ko-fi!! (∩´∀`∩)💕

窝头 wō tóu; Is a type of steamed bread made from cornmeal in Northern China. Wotou literally translates to ‘nest’, since it resembles a bird’s nest with its hollow cone shape. Looks like THIS.太岁 tài suì; Tai Sui refers to the stars that are in front of Jupiter. Folklore has it that Tai Sui is short for (太岁神 tài suì shén) Tai Sui God, or Cyclic Gods, who help the Jade Emperor in taking care of the welfare of the Mortal World (Chinese Zodiac). In Taoism, those whose Chinese Zodiac offends, disagrees or conflicts with the Tai Sui of the year, will have a fleeting disadvantage and trouble in everything.灶王爷 zào wáng yé; In ancient times, almost every family had a Kitchen God shrine in their kitchens. It’s said that this God was appointed by the Jade Emperor, and he was worshipped because he was responsible for managing the stoves in each house.