Deep Desire

The live stream had almost reached the point where it couldn’t be fast-forwarded anymore. Lu Jingshen was completely out of it. Lu Chixie was trying to talk to him, but he kept nodding and shaking his head, not really hearing what the other person was saying.

Lu Chixie felt helpless, and seeing that the broadcast was almost over, he decided to let Lu Jingshen calm down on his own. He then left with the production staff.

Before leaving, he reminded Liu Jie, “Don’t let anyone disturb my brother. Let him be alone for a while.”

A few minutes later, the lively office became quiet. Lu Jingshen slumped into his seat, closed his eyes, and his back was covered in cold sweat.

He had truly said it out loud, and it didn’t seem as difficult as he had imagined. As for what he would face next, he couldn’t bring himself to think about it at the moment.

Closing his eyes to clear his mind, Lu Jingshen gradually calmed down. He got up and went to the restroom to wash his face, splashing ice-cold water on himself. He looked at his reflection in the mirror, and his eyes seemed to have a bright light, a gift from Feng Si.

His lips slowly curled up, and he looked at himself in the mirror, laughing from the bottom of his heart for the first time.

Feng Si arrived at the entrance of Shang Xin’s building at five o’clock, a little before the end of work hours. He called Lu Jingshen before getting off the car.

Without saying anything else, he asked, “I’ll be at your company in a moment. Can I come up to your office?”

“Are you already here?” Lu Jingshen’s tone was the same as usual. “You can come up yourself, or should I send someone down to pick you up?”

Feng Si replied, “No need for that. I’ll come up myself. Let’s talk when I get there.”

Hanging up the phone, Feng Si entered Shang Xin’s building. He no longer had an employee card there, so he couldn’t use the elevators directly. He went straight to the front desk.

The girls at the front desk were huddled together, watching the recorded video of Lu Jingshen’s live stream confession. Feng Si greeted them and asked, “Excuse me…”

The girls looked up, and their eyes widened in surprise as they saw the person who was just talked about in the live stream confession. One of them was so shocked that she almost dropped her phone. She quickly regained her composure and turned off the screen.

Feng Si calmly asked, “I don’t have an employee card. Can I be allowed in?”

Everyone in the building recognized Feng Si; after all, many people had secretly saved the group photo that was leaked previously.

“Of course you can!”

The floor supervisor came out and led him to the elevator, helping him swipe his access card to unlock the floor.

Feng Si smiled and thanked him before taking the elevator.

Five minutes later, he entered Lu Jingshen’s secretary’s office, and countless pairs of eyes fell on him.

The last time he had attracted so much attention was when the photo was exposed. After leaving Lu Jingshen’s office in disappointment that day, he didn’t expect to return after four months and find himself in the same situation again.

This time was even more exaggerated than the last. After all, half an hour ago, Lu Jingshen had come out of the closet on a live stream in front of everyone.

Although he didn’t explicitly state who he was confessing to, everyone in that office knew it could only be Feng Si.

Liu Jie greeted him and looked a little embarrassed seeing him, clearing her throat and saying, “Boss is in his office.”

Feng Si calmly greeted her, “Secretary Liu, long time no see.”

Liu Jie replied, “…Yes.”

Indeed, it had been a while.

Feng Si paid no attention to the curious gazes and walked confidently to Lu Jingshen’s office, knocking on the door before entering.

Lu Jingshen was still looking at some documents, and his expression was as usual. When he heard the sound, he glanced up at Feng Si and then returned to his work.

Feng Si walked closer, circled around to the other side of the desk, and, just like many times before, leaned against the edge of the desk, looking at Lu Jingshen with his gaze slowly wandering over his face.

“I thought I would come in and find you regretting and brooding,” Feng Si teased.

Lu Jingshen had already calmed down, but he couldn’t help feeling a bit embarrassed again after Feng Si’s remark. “You saw the live stream…”

“How could i not,” Feng Si said, “Your brother said it’s already on the headlines of various apps. Alex, you’re a celebrity now.”

Lu Jingshen frowned slightly, and Feng Si reached over and smoothed out the wrinkles on his forehead. “Do you regret it? Saying all those things in the live stream, do you feel you were too impulsive? You could have just told me in person.”

Lu Jingshen looked up, his tone a little rigid, “I don’t regret it.”

Now that he had said it, he hadn’t even thought about regretting it.

Feng Si looked slightly surprised, “You made such a big declaration today?”

Although it was difficult for him, he couldn’t help but like Lu Jingshen all the more, who went to such great lengths to give him a sense of security.

Lu Jingshen asked, “how do you feel about my public confession?”

Feng Si appeased him, “I’m very happy, pleasantly surprised. I wish I could come over and give you a kiss right away.”

He had indeed come over right away, but now that he saw him, he couldn’t help but tease him instead.

Closing the documents on his desk, Lu Jingshen reached out and tightly grabbed the collar of Feng Si’s shirt.

Feng Si stumbled forward a step, forced to bend down with his hands on the sides of Lu Jingshen’s chair, but his smile remained unchanged.

Lu Jingshen looked up, wanting to kiss him, but Feng Si had already taken the initiative and kissed him first.

Their tongues intertwined and Lu Jingshen kissed him with an impatient intensity. Feeling this, Feng Si gently pressed the back of Lu Jingshen’s head, entwining their tongues in a soothing and teasing manner, then pushed further into his mouth, intentionally stimulating the most sensitive areas between their lips and tongues.

Gradually, Lu Jingshen’s emotions stabilized, and the kiss changed from a simple venting to a tender and lingering moment. His hands wrapped around Feng Si’s neck, pulling him closer.

The position was a bit inconvenient for Feng Si, so he swept the documents off Lu Jingshen’s desk without waiting for Lu Jingshen’s reaction, then lifted him and placed him on the desk.

Lu Jingshen frowned, some of the important documents on his desk were now scattered all over the place.

“Focus on me,” Feng Si said, his arms pressed on both sides of Lu Jingshen’s body as he leaned down to kiss him again.

With Feng Si’s lips on his, Lu Jingshen’s body involuntarily leaned backward, and he could only hold Feng Si’s shoulders tightly to maintain his balance.

The kiss became more intense, different from the wild and unrestrained way Feng Si kissed him last night when he was drunk. After completely expressing their feelings, they both couldn’t help but be eager to release their emotions through this intimate act.

But unfortunately, the location was not right. Feng Si didn’t mind having some office play, but they didn’t have enough time.

Their lips pressed together, and Feng Si reminded Lu Jingshen, “Say what you said before.”

Lu Jingshen breathed heavily, asking, “Which part?”

Feng Si said, “The most important part.”

Lu Jingshen’s throat rolled, he stared into Feng Si’s eyes, and finally said, “I love you.”

Feng Si smiled softly and continued kissing him.

At half past five, Lu Jingshen left work early.

As he walked out of the office, he kept his head up and walked quickly toward the elevator. Feng Si followed behind him, just like before, his hands in his pockets, looking relaxed and lazy, but intentionally walking on Lu Jingshen’s right side, blocking those seemingly casual glances that were directed at him.

Liu Jie also followed, but as usual, Feng Si stood in front of the elevator, blocking her from entering. “Secretary Liu, it’s Friday . Let everyone early, including yourself. Go home early and have a happy weekend with your boyfriend.”

Liu Jie had nothing to say.

The elevator door closed, and Feng Si put one hand on Lu Jingshen’s back, reminding him, “Take a deep breath and relax.”

Lu Jingshen shook his head slightly, “I’m fine.”

Feng Si asked, “Are you really okay?”

Lu Jingshen replied, “yes.”

Feng Si patted his back lightly, “alright.”

Lu Jingshen relaxed, “Hmm.”

They had the driver leave work early too, and they drove back to Lu Jingshen’s parents’ house together.

“You said you had something to tell me before. Can you tell me now?” There was some traffic on the way, and Feng Si turned his head to smile and asked the person beside him.

Lu Jingshen replied, “I already said everything.”

“Really?” Feng Si raised an eyebrow, “You don’t have anything else to say?”

Lu Jingshen thought for a moment and asked him, “What’s our relationship now?”

Feng Si said, “It’s up to you.”

“Good,” Lu Jingshen said without hesitation, “You are my boyfriend. Now that I’m taking you to meet my family, we can consider our relationship confirmed. Can you move in with me? My place is not far from the university, only about half an hour’s drive away. Is that okay?”

The cars that were stuck in traffic finally started moving, and Feng Si stepped on the accelerator. “Go with me to the university tomorrow to move some things.”

On their way, they passed a large shopping mall, and Feng Si drove the car into the ground parking lot. “Let’s buy something.”

Lu Jingshen was puzzled, “Buy what?”

Feng Si unbuckled his seatbelt, “It’s my first official visit to your house. I can’t go empty-handed, can I?”

Lu Jingshen felt it was unnecessary, “We have everything at home.”

“I know your family has everything,” Feng Si said, “But Chinese people pay attention to these things, and it’s customary to bring a gift when visiting someone’s home.”

Lu Jingshen replied, “…But you don’t seem like a Chinese person.”

Feng Si said, “Even a fake foreigner should adapt to local customs.”

In the end, he bought two bottles of good wine and some fruits. He decided against buying cigarettes since Lu Jingshen’s father had health issues, and they were also trying to quit smoking.

When Feng Si got back into the car with the wine, he smiled at Lu Jingshen, “Do I look like someone going to propose?”

Lu Jingshen glanced at him, “If you propose like this, my dad might not agree.”

Feng Si didn’t believe it, “Why? I think your dad was quite satisfied with me last time.”

Lu Jingshen said, “He prefers people like Chen Sen, who have a refined and scholarly personality.”

He was talking about Lu Jingqing’s boyfriend, who was elegant, scholarly, and the kind of son-in-law his father would prefer. A rogue like Feng Si was out of the question.

Feng Si didn’t care.” Well, okay, I may not fit the criteria, but I’m not here to marry your sister. Your parents’ requirements can’t be that high, right?”

Lu Jingshen didn’t want to banter with him, so he said, “I like you, that’s all that matters. Let’s go.”

Feng Si smirked, fastened his seatbelt again, and started the car.

They weren’t the first ones to arrive home. After Lu Chixie finished his live stream, he went straight to pick up Ling Zhuo, who was now with An Xin watching the recording of Lu Jingshen’s afternoon live stream. They paused the video when they heard the footsteps of Lu Jingshen and Feng Si entering the house.

Feng Si first greeted An Xin and brought the gifts. An Xin happily accepted them, “You don’t need to be so polite. Just come and have a casual meal next time, no need to buy any gift.”

Feng Si nodded with a smile, “Sure.”

Lu Jingshen’s eyes swept over the table, and Lu Chixie raised his chin at him, “The trending topic about you has been suppressed, and the editors will cut out your part. However, the screen recording is all over the place, nothing can be done about it, but don’t worry, the heat will die down in a few days.”

Lu Jingshen thanked him.

Lu Chixie waved his hand, “No need to thank me. I did it all because of Feng Si. He was afraid people would gossip and talk bad about you.”

However, Feng Si had also asked him for the high-definition recording of that segment, but Lu Chixie didn’t bother to mention that.

Lu Jingshen turned his head and looked at Feng Si, who winked at him.

An Xin sighed, “I didn’t expect that Ah Shen would say those things so openly. It’s not easy.”

Ling Zhuo chimed in, “He looked really handsome when he said those things. Truly admirable.”

“You guys, stop it,” Lu Chixie chuckled, “Or else, Ah Shen will dig a hole and bury himself.”

Lu Jingshen still wasn’t used to joking with his family and found an excuse to go outside.

Feng Si followed him out and put a hand on his shoulder, “You were quite eloquent in the afternoon. Are you feeling embarrassed after being teased by your family?”

Lu Jingshen remained silent, and Feng Si held back a laugh, “Alex, you’re quite amusing.”

Lu Jingshen replied, “…Not really.”

“You are,” Feng Si gently tapped his shoulder, “You did great today, but you don’t have to pretend to be calm and suave in front of me. If you feel uncomfortable, just say it. Even for an ordinary person, coming out in public like that is not easy. I know you don’t regret it, but it can still be awkward. Don’t force yourself. Though I’m really happy, you don’t need to pressure yourself. This is already good enough.”

Lu Jingshen looked at him, his eyes shining brightly in the night.

Feng Si continued, “Seriously, just relax.”

Lu Jingshen nodded lightly, “okay.”

After Lu Jingqing arrived with her boyfriend, they all sat down to have dinner together.

During the meal, Lu Jingshen introduced Feng Si formally again, and the phrase “we are dating” was said by Feng Si. He was afraid Lu Jingshen would feel awkward saying it, so he said it for him.

Lu Jingshen’s father remained calm and asked, “What are your plans for the future?”

Feng Si replied, “I heard that Jingqing and her partner plan to get married this year. Alex and I are at the age when we should consider getting married as well.”

Lu Jingshen looked at him, a fleeting surprise in his eyes.

He didn’t know that Feng Si had already considered taking this step, but he didn’t object.

Lu Chixie asked, “…How will you get married?”

Lu Jingshen’s father also furrowed his brows; it seemed he had the same question.

Feng Si explained, “I have British nationality, so I can get married legally. At least, it will be legally binding for me.”

An Xin smiled, “Then that’s good.”

Feng Si said, “Yeah, let’s wait until Jingqing’s wedding is over. Alex is probably busy now and won’t have time to go to the UK with me.”

Lu Jingqing was speechless. Feng Si, stop calling me by my name so intimately.

After leaving Lu’s family villa, Lu Jingshen took over the driving.

Feng Si counted the two red envelopes in his hand, “Your parents are quite generous. We got red envelopes just for having dinner at their place.”

One was for him, as a formal gift for meeting the family, and the other was for Lu Jingshen. It was a tradition in their family, a reward for being no longer single. He was the last among the three siblings to receive it.

Lu Jingshen didn’t pay attention to him and was still thinking about what Feng Si had said about marriage at the dinner table.

“What are you thinking about?” Feng Si reached out and waved in front of his eyes. “The traffic light is green.”

Lu Jingshen came back to his senses and didn’t say anything, stepping on the gas pedal again.

Back at Mingyue Bay, Lu Jingshen remained silent even in the elevator until they entered the door.

Before the room lights turned on, in the darkness, his hand touched Feng Si’s chest, and his hot breath approached as he asked in a husky voice, “What do you want to do?”