Jingyi didn't go downstairs for dinner. She said she couldn't eat and didn't want to eat a mouthful.

Liu Cheng did not continue to force her, saying that if she was hungry, she would go downstairs to eat, if she was sleepy, she would sleep for a while, and then he went downstairs.

Jingyi is still drawing on the paper. There is an intermittent rustle in the room, like the sound of drizzle in spring, gentle and melancholy.

She did not receive professional guidance and studied painting, but when she was eight years old, she found that she could draw. When other children of her age drew a bird like a chicken, she drew a bird like a bird and a chicken like a chicken. At that time, she was very proud and felt very powerful.

When she was a teenager, she grew up. She knew that she could draw. She was really good, because it was called talent.

When she was 17 years old, she happened to find a Book wrapped in plastic paper in her aunt's and dad's room, wrapped in six layers, and a thick stack of painting books about people, things and scenery. The people, things and scenery on it are lifelike and amazing. There are four words in the lower right corner of each page: Lu Qizhao.

"Lu Qi" is her mother's name, and she still doesn't understand what "Zhao Er" means.

Her father's name is Jing Zhen. She can't get in touch with Zhao er.

Later, she held back for a long time to ask her aunt. While her father was not at home that day, she didn't directly ask Lu Qizhao what she meant, but asked her aunt if she could draw?

Her aunt didn't answer at first. It was a long time before she said that she had studied painting. Her teacher was a famous painter in China. She was a closed door disciple.

However, her aunt didn't mention anything else related to painting, no matter what she asked.

But she knew that her talent for drawing was inherited from her mother,

It was also after that that that she learned that her mother not only could draw, but also had a lot of culture. Her mother even stayed abroad when she was young, which really shocked her.

In her childhood memory and cognition, her parents were mountain people who couldn't recognize a few words, so the name given to her was so simple, easy to write and easy to remember. The single name is one horizontal, also known as one.

But why did a mother who had studied abroad, a mother who could paint, and a mother with a high education choose to marry her father, a man whose grandparents have been in this barren mountain village for generations?

Her father didn't read for several years and couldn't read a few words. However, in her childhood memory, although her father didn't read much, as long as he was free, he would read a book. Therefore, she also liked reading under her father's influence since childhood.

Until she went to high school, once she accidentally found that her father's reading was upside down, but he still read with interest. At that time, she knew that her father was not reading with interest, he was just pretending to read with interest.

She has grown up and is not a child. She knows her father's good intentions and what she should do.

But until now, she wants to know about her mother's past.

From her father's stories to her father's father's stories, she has listened to her father many times since childhood, but about her mother, she only knows that her mother is from the north, but which city in the north? She didn't know, not that she didn't want to know, but that her mother never let her and her father mention her hometown, her relatives or her past.

The mother she knew was from her father, and the mother her father knew was only what happened in the years after she married her mother.

The father said that he knew nothing about his mother's past. When he said this, his father's eyes were a little lonely.

Like her father, she knows her mother's name. Her mother's name is Lu Qi, a northerner, but what her father doesn't know is that her mother can draw.

Jing Yi put down her pencil and looked up at the window. Behind the house was someone else. There was a sweet scented osmanthus tree in the yard, which had been growing for many years. It was already very high, and it was still sweet scented osmanthus all the year round. When she opened the window and the wind blew, she could smell the fragrance of sweet scented osmanthus.

Mother likes sweet scented osmanthus. She likes it under her mother's influence.

But what else does mother like? She is not particularly clear. In her memory, her mother has always been a very mysterious person. She feels that there is a layer of things between her and her mother. Unlike other children and their mother, they can be close and talk about everything.

Bow down and write down your name solemnly in the lower right corner of the figure portrait you just painted. Jingyi.

After thinking about it, she thought it was too simple and didn't look good, so she added two words, Shao Shen.

It looks better, but some are too straightforward. Others know that she likes shaoshen.

It's not a shady thing that she likes shaoshen, but now she is not qualified to like the man who also likes her because she may die of a heart attack anytime and anywhere.

Pick up the eraser, erase the word "Shao Shen" and write another word "Shao". I think it's still very obvious. After wiping, it's changed to "deep".

Watching and feeling, I think it's OK, but it's not good to read it together.

Therefore, the word "deep" was erased and changed into the word "Shao". What was changed was not "Shao", or "deep", or "deep", or "Shao". It could not be determined again and again.

When he was tired, his brain cells were also tired. Jing Yi lay on the table bored, with the figure on his cheek, holding a pen in his hand, and kept writing the words "Shao Shen" in the next blank, large and small, horizontal and vertical, densely filling the whole blank area. It looked like some artistic conception, especially when he took the paper away from his eyes, This feeling is more obvious.

Staring at his masterpiece, Jing suddenly smiled and kissed the character gently on the face.

"Shao Shen, how are you now? I miss you. Anyway, you should be good and happy. You must be very happy. I believe you will meet a girl you love and love you very much. Soon, after all, you are not young. It's time to get married, have children and be a father."

Put away the drawing paper on the table one by one, carefully and neatly stacked together, and Jingyi went to get his treasure chest.

Jingyi had a small box made of wood. Jingzhen made it for her when she was six years old. It was fifty centimeters long, twenty centimeters wide and thirty centimeters high. After it was done, father and daughter painted the box with red paint, and bought a small lock to install it.

This box is called my magic treasure chest by Jingyi.

When she was young, there were some delicious but unwilling things to eat, beautiful socks, clothes, or some gadgets. When she grew up, it became a place for her to store drawing paper. There was much better in it. It was neatly placed in the box, which was a display of her mood in different grades and stages.

Now there are more things. It's her little mind. She likes a person's mind for the first time.

Ready to put the painting into the treasure chest, Jing Yi suddenly stared at the top one with Shao Shen's name written in the blank space. His eyes shrank and his face was incredible.

Shao - Zhao and Kan, Kan on the right, also known as the right ear, next to the knife, ear, er, homophonic.

Zhao Er, Shao.

Lu Qishao.

Jing Yi stared at the word "Shao" on the paper in shock. His eyes widened and his face became paler and paler.

……

It's a fine day today. In the afternoon, Liu Cheng accompanied Jing's father to walk around. Jing's mother was basking in the sun in the yard.

Jing's mother holds a book in her hand, but she always looks up with two eyes, and then looks at the distance in a daze for a while, then looks at it again, and then in a daze for a while.

Jingyi stood on the stairs and had observed his mother for a long time before he walked over.

"Ma." she whispered to Jing's mother. Jing's mother turned to look at him, just smiled gently, patted the chair beside her, and motioned her to come and sit down, but she didn't make a sound.

As soon as Jing walked over and sat down in the chair next to his mother, he shouted, "Mom."

Jing's mother's eyes were on the book in her hand. It took a long time to "um", but she didn't look up and looked at the words in the book very seriously.

"Ma......" Jing Yi pursed her lips, turned her face to read the book in her mother's hand, and found that it was not a book, but rather a diary, because she just saw the date and weather.

The 23rd day of the twelfth lunar month, the lunar new year, snow.

But she only saw the date and the weather, because her aunt had closed the diary, picked up a hand sewn cloth bag from her knee, pulled the drawstring, carefully loaded the diary, and then tied the drawstring. The action was light and slow, but she was more cherished like a small heart wing and baby.

"What's the matter?" Jing's mother raised her head and looked at her daughter with a smile. Her hand was as long, thin, white and beautiful as Jing Yi remembered. She gently rubbed her daughter's hair and asked again in a warm voice, "what's the matter?"

"Mom, do you love dad?"

Jing's mother's expression was faint. She looked at her daughter. A few seconds later, she took back her eyes and looked down at the cloth bag with diary on her knee. Her slender fingers gently stroked the cloth bag. Her eyes were as gentle as water. The Buddha stroked a person, a person's face.

After a long time, she said faintly, "I've been married to your father for 20 years. It's more family affection."

"What about twenty years ago? Did you love Abba when you didn't marry him, but you already knew him?"

"Your father and I used a very popular word in your generation to describe it, that is, flash marriage. We went to get the marriage certificate the next day we met."

Jingyi knows this, because her father told her that every time he said it, his father's eyes and eyebrows rose. He said, baby, in fact, my father is also very fashionable. Don't look at my father's age. My father and your mother are flash marriages! Your aunt was a great beauty!

She always said at that time that dad was a handsome man!

Then her father laughed, lifted his chin with great pride and said, of course, if you look at what my baby looks like, you will know whether her father is a handsome man. They all say that her daughter is like her father. My baby is really more beautiful. Now she is a little beauty. When she grows up, she must be a big beauty more beautiful than your mother!

Flash marriage, then there is no love.

My mother told her indirectly that she didn't love my father.

"Is it because Abba is handsome that grandma married Abba?" since it's not love, why do you want to get married again? She wants to know.

Jing's mother smiled, looked up and spoiled her daughter's hair. "You are still young. When you grow up and grow up, you will understand that a person's appearance is far less important than his heart. That person can be ugly, but if he loves you and loves you, it is worth your life, especially for a woman."

"Abba is very handsome!"

"Yes, very handsome."

Yes, very handsome, but so what?

Jing Yi looked at her mother and once again felt that she was far away. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't really come to her mother. To be exact, she walked into her heart.

"Ma, is Zhao er a personal surname?" he summoned up his courage. Jing Yi thought he had to ask, otherwise he would be very uncomfortable.

Jing's mother turned her head and looked at her. Her expression was still gentle, and there was still a faint smile on her mouth.

It seems that in Jingyi's memory, his mother has always been like this. She is gentle and indifferent. She has looked down on everything about the Buddha, but she has a heart knot that can't be solved.

She took the diary on her lap out of her cloth pocket again and opened it.

Jingyi didn't know what his mother was going to do, so it was inconvenient to ask. He just looked quietly.

Mother opened the diary to the last page and basically took off the black plastic cover. At this time, Jing Yi saw a group photo of a pair of men and women snuggling together under the cover of the diary. It looked like a photo on the marriage certificate.

In the photos, both men and women are very young, even green, about 20 years old, but at that time, men and women in their twenties were much simpler and more reserved than those in their twenties.

Both men and women are smiling, but they are very shy. It's probably the first group photo!

The woman has long braided hair, which is woven into a twist shape. She takes it down from her left shoulder to her chest. Her hair is dark and beautiful.

Jing Yi looked up at his mother. Her mother had short hair with ears, and her hair was gray.

The woman in the picture is the mother twenty or thirty years ago, but the man in the picture is not the father twenty or thirty years ago.

"His name is Shao Qilu. Before I married your father, I actually had an engagement. We were about to get married. This photo was taken at that time."

As soon as Jing looked at the photo, she found that at the bottom of the photo, there was a string of words written in pencil. The words were very small and the handwriting was very light, so she didn't pay attention just now.

Shao Qilu and Lu Qi took a group photo on the ninth day of September, 1984.

The ninth day of September is my mother's birthday.

It turned out that mother and the man named Shao Qilu planned to take wedding photos on her birthday. Are they getting married? Or already?

Shao Qilu, Lu Qi, what two interesting names!

Jing Yi suddenly envied the man named Shao Qilu who had an engagement with his mother in this photo for his father, because he got his mother's love. However, his father, who had been married to his mother for more than 20 years, has not been able to make his mother fall in love with him.

At the same time, she felt sad for her father.

She suddenly remembered herself. If she married and had children in the future, what would he or she think if her son or daughter saw so many portraits in her treasure chest that were not his or her father?

Will she feel jealous, sad and angry like this?

She thought it was a very terrible thing, very, very terrible.

She doesn't want to be a mother, because it's too unfair to her father.

Jing's mother stared at the picture and suddenly opened her mouth. Her voice was low and hoarse, "We didn't get married. The day before we agreed to get the marriage certificate, he was sent abroad by his father. After more than two years, we didn't meet or contact him. I didn't have any news about him. Two years later, he came back, got married, took his newly married wife and went home for a high-profile re wedding, and I, with my son less than two years old, stood at the door of the hotel and watched He raised a glass to his wife and made a toast to his relatives and friends. He smiled so brightly and wrote happiness on his face. I know it's over with him. "

Jing 11 looked at her mother in shock. For the first time, she felt that her mother, who had given birth to her for 20 years, was so strange that she felt terrible.

"You... Had a son?"

Jing's mother nodded with a relaxed tone. Fang fo said only other people's stories. She said, "yes, there is a son. You should call him brother. You are many years older than you. It's a whole round. It's amazing. Although you and he are not the same father, there is a full 12-year-old difference in age, but you were born on the same day, September 12 of the lunar calendar."

"Then... Where is my brother now?"

Jingyi never heard his father mention that his mother had a son before, so she thought that it was not his father who deliberately concealed it, but his father probably didn't know!

My father is a honest man. Although my mother has a good temper, she is a strong man in her bones. She must have told her father that her father is not allowed to ask about her past, so my father didn't ask or inquire about it, so she knows nothing about my mother's past.

Jing Yi suddenly felt that she didn't know whether to say she was lucky or unfortunate. Because she was her mother's child, she was able to know part of her mother's past, but these were uncomfortable past.

She knew that she felt unfair and unworthy for her father, but she just couldn't help feeling that her mother was very selfish.

"I don't know." Jing's mother answered very neatly.

hear nothing of.

Because I really don't know.

She had no idea where the child was now, whether he was still alive or what he had become.

Jing Yi suddenly stood up. She stared at her mother like a terrible stranger, "what's the matter with him? Throw him away?"

Jing's mother closed the photo, put the black plastic cover on the diary again, and put the diary into the cloth pocket. Then she slowly raised her head.

She looked at her daughter, who looked a little like herself. She couldn't imagine what her son would look like if he was still alive. She only remembered that when he was one or two years old, he didn't look like his father or her, but his facial features seemed to blend her and his father's facial features, Probably inherited some of their genes from the past.

She smiled gently, ignoring the shock and anger on her daughter's face, and her voice was calm but extremely cruel. "That man abandoned me. After our vows and love, he abandoned me. Why should I keep his son?"

"But that's your son, too!"

"So what?" Jing's mother still smiled, but her smile was creepy, "His father doesn't want me anymore. Do I still keep him and watch him all day to prove how stupid I am? I'm angry with my father and mother for him. I have nothing, but he abandoned me. Why should I keep my son born to him? I was going to strangle the child, but he was so lucky that he didn't die. I want to forget it, so I'll kill him He threw it away and let him live and die. If he was lucky, someone would pick him up. If he was unlucky, it was his life. "

Jing Yi shook her head, stepped back and stared at her mother. She said, "you're terrible! You're terrible! How can you be my mother? A woman who can even kill her own son, you're a devil!"

"Maybe." Jing's mother suddenly stood up from her wheelchair.

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