Ablackwing

Black

It felt so warm and soothing. Like the warmth of the sun on a wintery day. I felt like I was in paradise. But that paradise didn't last, and I woke up.

I was lying on my stomach and that soothing sensation was coming from my back. I opened my eyes and saw that beeping monitor that was reading my pulse. Those lines appeared like some games.

That position was too uncomfortable for me and thus I tried to move but I felt a sudden and sharp pain from my back that made me back down to that original uncomfortable position. 

"Stop moving. You're not fully healed yet." I heard a lady's voice, and I did as she asked me to. It was familiar but I couldn't remember who it belonged to. I could feel that person's hand over my back. I hummed in response to let her know that I heard her. I didn't know what she was doing but that warm sensation was coming from her hands.

"Thank you very much, Lilith," I heard another woman's voice. It was so familiar. It felt like the humming of angels. I yearned to hear it again and again.

"His body. It feels different."

After that, I could feel that lady's hand roam around my body. That warm sensation travelled from my back to my limbs and then my head as if it had sentience. After a while, that sensation once again got concentrated upon my back.

"What the hell has he done to himself?" 

"Something very selfish." 

"Give me your hand." I felt one of that woman's hand leave my back. And after a while, she solemnly spoke.

"So this was what he found after months of searching. Too reckless I'd say." That woman said and after a short while, she withdrew her hand. That warm sensation disappeared.

"Try moving now," she said, and I followed her instructions. The pain was still present, but it was bearable now. I then turned around to face those ladies.

The lady nearest to me was so beautiful. She had silver hair but her most striking feature were her violet eyes and as I looked into them, that my heartbeats went into a frenzy. There was a crimson red elongated diamond-shaped tattoo in the middle of her forehead and it only enchanted her beauty. I felt this familiar sensation from her. I just wanted to hug her.

I turned my head and saw another woman with long red hair. She was familiar to me too. As I looked at her, I heard voices in my head and I couldn't understand them. I turned my head towards that lady with violet eyes.

"Are you feeling alright?" The lady asked me in a worried tone but I didn't know what to reply to her. Who was she in the first place?

"I guess I am okay but may I know who you are?"

"You don't know me?" 

"And who am I?"

Her eyes became teary when I asked those questions. She was doing her very best to hold back those tears.

"Don't cry. I don't like it." I said. It hurt when I saw her like that. My words had so much power that she stopped it the next instant. But those tears were like a drop of dew on a blade of grass. Ever ready to fall down.

"I'll do as you say. Just..." she wanted to say something but when she realized my condition, she stopped.  

I tried to remember it all, but those memories were in a jumble. When I tried to untangle them one by one, they just flooded over and drowned me. 

"Argh," I cried out in pain. My head felt like it would burst open and I stopped trying.

"Black," that lady spoke up in an affectionate manner and her voice was so... calming. I found this unknown sense of peace in my soul when I heard her voice. I again gazed upon that lady and it brought me peace. I didn't know who she was but she must be someone very special to me.

"Can you heal his head?" she turned towards the other lady.

"It doesn't work that way."

"Then what about his amnesia?"

"I have no idea about it... They should return." that red lady added when she saw that the other one was sad. That lady with violet eyes then turned towards me as she lightly rubbed her eyes.

"I am Eve and you are my husband, Black." She said with a beautiful smile.

"My wife?" The fact that I have such a beautiful wife stunned me.

"And I am Lilith. You are my boyfriend," that woman in the back said, and I was shocked again. I was married. How could I have a girlfriend? And even if it was true, how come she was brave enough to say it out loud in front of my wife?

"Lilith!"

"Come on. It's just a harmless joke. I meant that I'm his only friend that is a girl."

"Very funny." Eve didn't laugh at that joke.

"I'll be going now. Go back to your city as soon as you can and keep him hidden. The fewer people know about him, the better." Lilith said and started walking to the door while waving her hand. But something didn't feel right to me. 

"Okay."

"Did I do anything wrong wifey?" I called her wifey to lighten her mood. She looked really sad by the fact that I didn't remember her. And it worked wonders. Her eyes lit up when she heard me.

"No, you didn't do anything wrong. But you were very selfish back then. Selfish to the point of selfishness."

"I am sorry." I didn't know what I did wrong but apologized for what I might have done. 

Eve wandered her hand in my hair and looked at me with a tender loving gaze. My heart melted down when I looked at her smile. 

"It's okay, love. You're back and it's all that matters." 

Eve leaned her head forward and our eyes met. We kept looking at each while smiling. 

"I love you," she said. 

"I love you too," I replied. These feelings were from the bottom of my heart. This was the woman I loved and this feeling, I'll never forget. 

Eve then moved her face and planted a kiss on my lips. I was surprised at her sudden action but I savoured that case. She wanted it to be a quick kiss but I didn't. I wanted it to last longer. I caved that kiss from the very depths of my soul. 

Her kiss had magical powers. As we touched, those entangled memories started to untangle themselves. I started to remember those things that I had once forgotten. Those memories started to play in my mind like a movie fast-forwarded a hundred times. And I remembered it all. 

I was forgiven!

She found me back. But... I also remembered the horrible things I did to Lilith when I let go of the darkness. And Lilith still came to help me despite all that. There was no complain on her face when I looked at her a while ago. How was I supposed to find peace with that? 

When I came back to my senses, Eve had already backed off from the kiss. 

"What happened? Why are you crying?"

How was I to tell Eve everything? 

"Does it hurt?" Eve asked again. And I had to tell her. I shouldn't keep this from her. Whatever punishment I may face, I was ready. 

"Yes, it does... Eve, I did something really bad to Lilith."

* * * * * 

I couldn't find Lilith on that day. She was already gone back to her home. I was to rest but how could I rest when those things hover in my mind like nightmares. I pleaded with Eve to take me where Lilith is and she agreed. It was early in the morning when we reached there. 

I was standing in front of her apartment alone. Eve decided to wait for me in her car. Just do your business and return soon - that's what she said. Taking a step inside was so hard. I had no idea what I was going to do after going inside. 

"You may come in." I heard Lilith's voice from inside. 

I took a deep breath and walked in. 

I looked around and found Lilith brewing coffee in the kitchen. Her crimson hair was tied in a nice bun. She was wearing a sleeveless dress, not caring about the cold weather. 

"How come you're here? Need my healing?" 

Lilith spoke while looking straight at me. 

"I remember," I stated. There was no change in her expression. She was as cool as ever. 

"Congratulations."

I walked ahead to the kitchen and kneeled in front of her. Lilith was the second person I ever knelt to. But it wasn't shameful. It was my act of forcing myself upon her that was shameful. I could only hope that she can find forgiveness in her heart. 

"Are you proposing to me? So greedy. You already have Eve and now you want me too." Lilith joked and acted as if nothing was wrong. 

"I am so sorry for my actions." I raised my head and looked at her and she looked back into my eyes as if she was trying to see through me. "I'm sorry for doing that to you." 

After a while, Lilith calmly spoke. 

"You misunderstand, Black. I never blamed you. Even though you were so rough that it may appear like forced, it was not. You had my concern. Otherwise, I would have died rather than letting that happen to me. Even you couldn't have stopped me from my death then."

"Why?"

Lilith smiled at me when I asked that. 

"Because I think I never fell out of love."

I remembered the words she once told me. 'I think I've fallen in love with you.'

Love it such a strange feeling. No one does it by choice, it hurts and still, you can not stop it. But I have no other choice. I can never accept her love and that feeling was suffocating. 

"It's okay dear. I know it. You don't have to explain it to me." Lilith came forward and offered me her hand. 

At that moment, I hoped that she would blame me. That she would be angry at me. She was too understanding and it only hurts me more.

"Can I do something for you?"

"Well if you want. I want to ask you for three things."

"Tell me. I'll do my very best to offer them to you." Even though I had given most of me to Eve, I still had that flicker of a candle burning inside me. Granting her requests was the least I could do.

"One, no matter what happened, we would remain friends. Neither you nor Eve would distance yourselves from me because of it."

"Two, if one day, you find it in your heart space for me, take me in."

"That may never happen. I am sorry. I can not agree with this condition."

"It's only if. I don't think I can ever move on. So I will be waiting. Who knows that one day my prayers might be answered.

"And three, if and only if I were to get pregnant, you will not force me to give up on my child. I won't ask you to take any responsibility. I will raise that child on my own."

That third thing was so hard to accept. But could I really ask her otherwise? She only asked for hope. I wasn't heartless to crush that hope too. 

"All of them, I accept. And now take this."

It was the Pandora's heart. Much smaller than the Pandora's heart I created for Eve. 

"What is this?" Lilith asked. How could I tell her that? I was sure she would not accept it if I told her what was inside.

"A gift from me."

She accepted it and when the Pandora's heart made its way to her heart, she instantly realized what it was and she was furious.

"Are you f.u.c.k.i.n.g making fun of me?"

That was the first time I heard Lilith curse at someone. But she wasn't at fault. 

"You misunderstand. It's just a gift."

"That's a damn part of you, you asshole."

"It's useless to me right now. And so, I, son of Eden, decree that from this day, you are to spend your life protecting the angels. From this day, you are a Seraph."

I stood up and leaned in next to her ear. I could smell her sweet perfume. 

"I wish, I pray that one day you get the happiness you so rightfully deserve."