Ablackwing

"You're... gonna die too?" I couldn't think straight. There were many things that I couldn't understand. Like what was lifestream? And why would anyone do such horrible thing like cutting one of the wings of such a sweet angel? I was shaken by what he had told me. Those memories of my sister taking her last breath on the hospital bed flashed in my mind. I was terrified.

"Well, I don't have any answer to that question."

"But you just said..."

"I was telling you why I've only one black wing."

"But..."

He turned to change his position as to lay comfortably on his back and placed his left hand over mine. Even with his eyes closed, he could tell that I was frightened. Perhaps he had a third eye. He gripped my hand a slight and it felt soothing. Like the music coming out of the flute. Like the sunshine falling on your skin in winters. Like the sight of nature that captivates you and you forget to close your eyes. It was something like that.

"I'm kind of different. My wing had rot after two years. This is the third year. But I'm still alive. I'm an anomaly. I've never seen, nor heard of anyone staying alive even after their wing turned black. I should have been dead long ago but I'm still alive and talking to you." I was so relieved after hearing that.

"You're special."

"Perhaps." He smiled. That look on his face showed that he was reminiscing about something. I too smile like that sometimes, remembering my family.

"So how come you wear this white scarf if you like black that much?" I wanted to ask this ever since he told me that he loves black colour.

"It was a gift from a friend. My first friend." His smile widened, almost reaching his ears. I was glad he had friends too even though they call him with horrible names.

"That person must be really special to you."

"Yeah, she is." His eyes were closed but I noticed his changed expression.

She?

I don't know why but I was thinking that it was a guy who gifted him that scarf. A girl didn't even pop in my mind. I was kind of taken aback. A little anxiousness, a little sadness and a little hate. Those little things mixed and filled my heart to the brim. It wasn't the 'hate' hate. It was 'I don't like you' hate. I wondered why I was feeling like that for an unknown person. That feeling was kind of new to me.

I thought he considered only me special the way he referred to me as an angel but the thought that he could call someone else by similar things was too much for me. I couldn't take it. Idiot, dufes, stupid. I wanted to call him all those things but I couldn't. My mind echoed with them though.

"So who is she?" What the hell was wrong in my mind that I asked about that girl. I didn't want to talk about her. I didn't want to listen him say any of that stuff.

"I'm afraid I can't tell you for now." I was relieved that he didn't start it. My inner self did a happy dance even though I'm bad at dancing. I hoped my happiness didn't form a smile on my face. His eyes were closed so it wouldn't have mattered anyway.

"When my wing was cut, I was sure I would die," he spoke. It was the first time he was saying something without me asking. "I went to Gehenna. I had decided to take as many demons as I could with me. It was purely out of revenge... I was blinded by rage. Drowned in madness, I killed as many of them I could. I killed and I killed and... I killed..." His eyes opened. He looked away from me, at the ceiling. I saw the sadness lurking in his eyes. This man was so broken. I could see that he has suffered. But it was hard to believe what he told me.

"I don't believe you."

"Mother summoned me back to Eden and now, I am exiled for my sins. The judgement is the very proof of my wrongdoings."

"But..." I was going to tell him that other angels fell too.

"Those with power shall use it to help those that don't."

"Noblesse oblige."

"That was what mother taught me. But I did the exact opposite. I gave in to my d.e.s.i.r.es." His right hand moved, trying to reach out to the ceiling, perhaps trying to point out that he fell from there. "And my exile is my punishment. If mother considers that was a sin and exiles me, I don't care."

It's was so mysterious. I had seen only sweetness and warm innocence in his soul. He wasn't faking any of that. Whenever I saw him smile, I saw only light. I felt happy inside. I guess the reason his smile was so bright was that he knew what sadness feels like. Because he was brave enough to smile despite all the pain he had inside his heart.

I was sure that some parts of his story had truth in them.

I wished I could help him somehow in carrying this pain of his.

I reached out for his hand that was still hovering in mid-air as he looked upon it with heavy eyes. My fingers curled around his as I gripped his hand and took it down.

"It's not a sin, little Black." he didn't reply back. Perhaps thinking of me as a liar.

"When someone loses something precious to them, they break..." I wanted to have a pep talk with him to lift up his mood but I didn't know what to say to him. I was so bad at these things. In the end, I decided to be honest. "At least, I would not consider you a sinner even if you did all those things."

He didn't say anything. Instead, his left hand came out of covers and tried to cover his eyes. But that trail of the tears born in his eyes and dying on the pillow wasn't unnoticed to me.

"You know, you are more angelic than anyone I've ever met." He spoke slowly. It was a funny statement. A human girl is more angelic than the angels... It was like saying lizards can be more terrifying than dinosaurs. I know he was just being generous but that was a huge compliment for me. I couldn't help but smile.

"You haven't changed, angel Eve." I guessed he was referring to the time when we were kids. Gosh, he never stops teasing me. I did say it was ok before but I was still curious about what happened back then.

"Huh" perhaps I spoke that loud. But it's all good. He didn't hear it clearly.

"So I kind of understand why you fell. You were forced out even though it wasn't your fault. But how come others fell too with you? Were they all your helpers when you 'went to Gehenna'?" I told him what I wanted to tell him for a while. All this time, he was thinking that only he had fallen down on earth. After all, his eyes were closed when he was falling.

"What are you talking about?" he removed his hand and asked in surprise. I saw a faint shimmering line of water on his face formed by tears.

"You're not the only one that fell. I saw many angels falling too. They fell all over the earth."

"That is impossible. The Judgement always works on one individual at one time. There is no way more angels could be exiled at once. Are you sure you saw them?"

"Yeah. Didn't I tell you that you look 'unlike' others," He seemed clueless at first wondering why I repeated my statement. His mind was too dense for his own good. "Unlike others" I repeated slowly, trying to give his poor brain enough information to process.

"I thought you were saying that based on assumptions." He finally understood and I was glad.

"No, I wasn't. I saw three more angels with my own eyes and many more in the videos."

I saw my laptop lying on the table. I grabbed it and turned it on to show him the proof. I knew the debate about falling angels would not be suppressed that easily. You don't see falling angels every day. And I was right. There were many talks and controversies all around.

People with different thoughts were clashing and debating. Some said that it was the end of the world. Some said that angels have come to cleanse this world of bad things. Some said more angels have fallen like satan. The governments still 'blamed' it on new advancement in technology. The government was full of liars. But I guess they had to do it to prevent chaos. I wondered how many more lies they had told us before.

He looked carefully. Trying to make some sense out of it. Just then those videos of falling black winged angel that everyone referred to him as the monster started playing. I tried to switch it off quickly. He shouldn't hear such stuff about himself. But he held my hand. He wanted to see it through. Monster that New_Dawn said again. My blood boiled, yet again.

"Do you know I'm known as a this in Eden too." He told me after the video ended.

"What do you mean?"

"That is the nickname I didn't tell you before. It's my favourite one. Monster." His eyes said something else. He spoke so many lies even when he knows his eyes can't hide the lies. Always trying to hide his feelings, behind the mask of a smile. He was strong. Very strong indeed. If it were me, I would probably have tried to beat the crap out of whoever called me like that.

I guess that wasn't his fault. The world is cruel. If you're soft as a flower, you'll get trampled upon. But sometimes, and not every time, you should be weak too. Being weak is what makes us humans because then we know why we need to be strong.

"You shouldn't hide it. Whatever they might say, you're not a monster."

"Well, I'm more monstrous than anyone else out there."

"You're not." I protested again.

"I am." Like a stubborn child, he didn't agree. I liked that innocent twin of this stubborn kid more.

"I will hit you very hard if you say that again about yourself," I threatened him.

He was asking for it. He looked at me with a plain gaze. I guessed he was angry. But instead of being angry, he just gave me a wide smile before I could say sorry. There was really something wrong with his head. You don't smile when someone slaps you. This angel was crazy.

"Thanks." I didn't understand why he said it. Well, it prevented me from saying sorry. So it was good from my side.

He closed his eyes and got lost in thoughts after that. I just sat there in silence even though I wanted to disturb him with my questions. And then after some time, he opened his eyes.

"Can you give me your phone?" he asked and I saw his hand had a silver-black business card. He had drawn it out I nowhere!

"Yeah, but why?"

"I have to call someone."