74 – past_saint_3

Clumps of insects, lumps of boiled blood, and uncooked grains.

The things I have eaten in my life so far can be classified into those three.

Occasionally, some children would ask for something from outside, but they did not even touch it. Because I’ve seen children caught getting taken away and never coming back.

I saw children with names salivating while saying something difficult to pronounce, but I couldn’t relate.

I didn’t know what it looked like and I didn’t know how it tasted.

unknown.

What you don’t know yet.

There is an indescribable scent from the unknown food he served.

Is it a different taste from the ones I know, a bit disgusting and fishy?

I was curious. But if you get caught, you won’t be able to hand it over easily. I only slightly rolled my eyes and glanced at the ‘director’ who was leading in front of the ranks.

I hadn’t noticed. The other children didn’t notice his unusual behavior either.

Could it be that only I can see it?

It reminded me of the fairy who helped the prince in the book. There, the fairy helped the prince both materially and mentally.

But I knew That you are handing poison, not help.

I fell in love with books, and I fell in prayer. But they were enough to do in the room.

This was different. I can’t do it alone in the room. It could only be saved by going outside, avoiding the ‘Director’ and ‘Director’.

I rejected what he handed to me with a low head.

The man threw it away without inviting it back.

It was a waste. It would have been better to just accept and eat it at a bar that would be treated like that.

I tried to erase those thoughts and spent the day.

next day.

The man came to me again.

This time I was holding another one.

It was a round object about the size of my hand.

This time, another word was added after the recommendation.

“Eat it. If you want, I’ll bring it tomorrow, too.”

Will it come tomorrow too?

If you refuse here, will you keep coming back? If I refuse, will they throw it away again?

If that’s the case, wouldn’t it be better to get it once?

Because you don’t know when this person will be caught by the ‘directors’ and ‘director’… just eat once and say it’s over…

received the unknown.

It was light. It was lighter than the things I ate, so my anticipation gradually began to cool.

I put it in my mouth though.

“You don’t have to chew it. It melts.”

it melts What does it mean?

As soon as I put it in my mouth and waited, I could understand what he was saying.

melted

The moment I put it in my mouth, it was released.

The fragrance that I had never tasted before, and that I could smell when the flowers were blooming, filled my mouth.

“What are you doing now!”

Unknowingly, I stopped to savor it. Hearing the ‘director’ shout, he shrank in surprise.

Also, this is poison.

This person wasn’t a fairy, he was seducing me.

I closed my eyes tightly to avoid the pain that would come soon, but the ‘director’ did not visit me.

It was because he went behind me and pushed me on the back as if pushing me.

My skinny body couldn’t stand his strength, so I was pushed back by him and quickly rejoined the ranks.

The person was taken by the hand of the ‘director’.

I thought it was fortunate that it wasn’t me, and I felt disgusted with myself for thinking that way.

next day.

The man came to me again.

Even though I was drawn to the ‘director’, I always took out new things with the same eyes without a single wound.

The feeling of guilt faded a little.

I received what he offered, and soon it became the time I looked forward to the most.

There were times when I felt sick to my stomach because I ate things I wasn’t used to, but it was better to feel the pleasure of eating than that.

Life could no longer be satisfied with lumps of blood and disgust.

Goosebumps appeared all over the body when it touched the tongue that had tasted the food that would make you smile.

I’m broken. You can no longer live the same life as before.

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No, things that were already broken may have returned to normal.

“Want some?”

A question asking for my opinion. I couldn’t deny

Like a person who knows he’s poisoned but can’t stop looking for it.

“Do you want to go out? There are more foods like this out there.”

and another question. Perhaps I had become accustomed to the language, and the naturally continuous voice led me.

But I couldn’t hold her outstretched hand.

I’m still stuck. Because I had neither the strength nor the will to escape from the ‘Director’ and ‘Director’.

“Why.. are you doing this to me..”

“Because I need you.”

need me what else does that mean All I could do was sit still and pray or pickaxe.

I looked into his eyes. It was a different eye from the ‘Director’ and ‘Director’, full of will without any other intention.

Will I be able to get out of this situation if I follow this person?

Is it not necessary to sleep in a room barely enough to lie down on?

Is it not necessary to be afraid of darkness and silence?

Will I be able to escape from the fishy blood and black mass?

Will I be able to wash a lot and wear nice clothes?

I haven’t been able to define the answer to that question myself.

Did you see my hesitation? The man spoke quietly, in a voice that only I could hear.

“Is it because of them that you are so hesitant?”

I almost nodded my head involuntarily at the man’s gesture of slightly pointing at ‘director’ with the tip of my finger.

However, it seemed that I could not completely stop my actions. It was because it was no different than admitting it at the point of not giving a proper answer.

the man laughed I asked my doctor once again to be sure he was reading all my thoughts already.

“Let me ask you again. Is it because of them?”

“Ah… no…”

The pain in his body naturally made him shake his head.

The man was silent for a moment and looked at my face, but then nodded.

“Yes. If it’s you, then I can’t help it.”

It was too light a give up.

Deep down, I was hoping he would hold me once more.

I just watched him leave after kicking away the opportunity that came to him stupidly.

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No one cared even after seeing him disappear from the ranks. As if he was never a person before.

Is it true that I was able to see it alone? If that’s the case, did I really reject the existence that came to save me?

yes. I also kept approaching him for several days, but if I said I didn’t like it, I would have lost my affection.

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No regrets.

I have no regrets.

I..

I washed my body for the first time in a while, not knowing how many weeks it had been.

And, as always, I mingled with the younger children and kept my mouth shut.

A person came up in front of me.

It was the same person who gave me the book at that time.

“Hello. Long time no see.”

The wrinkles on the face look benign. When I nodded, she took my hand and presented me with that warmth again.

I had gotten used to that warmth by now. I also felt that this person’s warmth was paler than the warmth I had created.

It seemed I wasn’t the only one who felt that way. The man widened his eyes, made a surprised expression, and moved my hands around.

“Sister, do you pray every day?”

are sisters are you talking about me

I pray every day whenever I have time. Because it was one of the few happy times in a day.

“Yes.”

There was still a scratchy voice. It was a voice compared to the person who held my hand.

“..I see. That’s what I mean..”

After leaving the words, the person said something to the director.

I could see the ‘director’ gnashing his teeth as he went into a fit of rage. I wanted to see what was going on, but I stared straight ahead as much as I could. If you put your eyes down, the ‘directors’ will drag you away after this is over.

“..what’s your name?”

“Ellie…yes.”

If asked for your name, say The name was made according to their words.

He nodded, held my hand tightly, and smiled.

“Ellie. Do you have any intention of following me?”

second chance.

A chance to get out of here.

Like that person, the words of salvation that are handed out between the ‘Director’ and ‘Director’ confidently, rather than acting secretly.

I didn’t want to miss the opportunity.

One such experience was enough.

He immediately nodded.

The ‘Director’ looked at me. If you could kill a person with just your eyes, you would have already grabbed your heart and died.

I looked at the person, averting my eyes. It was a warm look and expression that ‘Director’ had never shown before.

So I followed this person.

This person whom people call ‘Mother’ was kind to everyone.

All meals served were warm and delicious, and I was able to lie down and sleep in a warm place.

I could wash every day. Seeing her skinny body, her ‘mother’ and ‘sisters’ looked surprised, but all responded in an understandable way.

Wear clothes that don’t rub against your skin. It was a similar outfit to ‘Mother’. I don’t like things that stick to my body, so I chose a slightly larger size.

There was no need to use force. three times a day. All I could do was pray more than that if I wanted to. I welcomed that time.

happy.

Maybe that person appeared and disappeared to give me this opportunity. If that person hadn’t appeared, I would have rejected ‘Mother’s offer.

A cluster of silver light emanating from my hand began to grow in size. It felt as if it was not coming out of my fingertips, but rather extending from the center of my chest.

Eating delicious food makes me grow taller by eating well, so I naturally gained weight and grew taller.

One area grew intensively, but all the ‘sisters’ were envious of that, and ‘mother’ said that I definitely deserved it.

I tasted happiness in less than two weeks.

And it seemed that happy days with ‘mother’ and ‘sisters’ would continue.

But no.

A person who lived in misfortune makes his surroundings unhappy.

A being called the devil begins to shake the Fell Burn. As if he was mocking the thoughts of people who said that he could be relieved because he was in the outskirts.

+++

“Hello. Thank you for giving me an audience.”

“I’m not that tall. You don’t have to be formal. ..It looks like you’re from far away with a different accent. May I ask why you’re here?”

“I have an urgent business, so there is someone I can’t save.”

“I see. I offer words of comfort.”

“So, can the priest save that person?”

“Yes. Of course you have to do it. Where are you? What’s your name…”

“I don’t know the name, but there’s a big orphanage over there, right? He’s the biggest friend there, right?”

“Ah. That person… are you saying that he is someone who needs help? I…”

“Don’t you know?”

“..I don’t know what you mean.”

“You took money and pretended not to know.”

“..”

“I won’t ask why. It looks like you’re regretting what you did. So, let’s help someone together from now on.”

“What can I do?”

“Please create an environment where I can pray every day, warm food, a space where I can stretch out and sleep, and a human relationship where I don’t have to be afraid. I’ll go there later when the time comes.”

“Is that enough?”

“Oh, that’s right. And when he’s off guard, run away from here. The fastest way to go. I think Eormigin will be fine.”

“Escape.. run?”

“The devil will come here. You can’t be relieved just because it’s in the outskirts. The hero is also evacuating all the people outside.”

“Hero…but…”

“Please. Even priests, please show them with action quickly. Everyone is holding on and not running away just because it’s a waste of money and things.”

“..I understand. However, it would be nice if you could give me time to prepare.”

“Yes. Thank you very much.”

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