We Defeated the Demon and Disbanded Without Any Conflict

72 – past_saint

My memory begins among countless people who look like me.

They all had scruffy faces.

Untidy, oily hair that looks like it was tied together. Crumpled clothes that you don’t know when they were washed. A body covered with grime and soot that stinks.

Children who couldn’t remember their parents’ faces and were abandoned in gutter, sewage, and alleys of slums.

Or children abandoned without knowing their parents’ faces.

I was one of them.

I had no name. I couldn’t remember anything like a name.

I didn’t even think that my parents, who abandoned me without showing their faces, would have given me a proper name.

I didn’t know if coming here was a blessing or a curse.

I had people like me locked in my room, and I took it for granted.

They lived together in a narrow and low room. To the point where we get used to the stench from each other’s bodies.

I remember their names

Unlike me who had no name, those who were abandoned even though they were given names and called by names.

Danio Mary, Ilet Wright.

Three girls, including me, had slept in a room so small that they couldn’t even stretch their legs out.

Again, I thought it was natural at the time.

Because my memory started there.

I thought everyone lived like this and everyone slept in a space like this.

Breakfast consisted of roughly boiled lumps of hardened blood and uncooked grains hatched by insects.

I remember having a good meal. Because I felt happy that I could eat anything.

I ate breakfast and went straight to work.

Holding a pickaxe with his withered arms, he headed for the mine located on the mountain behind the building.

Me, Danio, and a few others, under the guidance of people called ‘directors’, dug ore there while working with pickaxes.

They were all skinny like us and were in a state of being on the verge of breaking.

The ‘directors’ watched us with whips. They kicked us in the back or whipped us when we struggled and missed the pickaxe.

On those days, the place I was hit was so sore that I couldn’t sleep well.

Lunch was served there.

I ate the lump I was given inside, filled with small stone dust and dust.

As I was chewing it, I sometimes felt a crunchy texture and the feeling of chewing something thin and long.

It didn’t taste good, but I liked the meal because it was the most hearty meal I could eat.

When the sun goes down, they come out of the mine.

Those who had lost too much blood or who could not walk properly were taken away by ‘directors’.

The next day, the men couldn’t come to the mine.

I don’t know what happened to them, but people who do other jobs with me say that the crispy loaves for lunch are only given to people in the mines.

So I worked hard. He held on until he passed out. That way you can fill your stomach properly.

I had to solve drinking water and washing my body by putting boiled water in a cup the size of my face.

It was fortunate that they gave a lot of water when they were pickaxing.

However, I was sweating profusely, so I couldn’t use water to wash myself.

Since I had to survive without dinner, I couldn’t use it for washing myself.

Every time I received that water, I was happy because it seemed to tell me about my hard work.

I thought I was happy

Because I shared a room with kids my age, and even though we complained, we didn’t curse at each other.

Danio, Iret, and I continued to share the same room even though the daily routine of the people we worked with disappeared the next day.

no one has gone till now.

So I was happy. maybe.

In the morning, the ‘director’ rings the bell and walks around the halls.

We wake up in surprise at the sound of sleeping while leaning against the wall.

Occasionally, I heard a crunching sound from my body, which chilled my stomach, but fortunately there were no major problems.

Iret was a well-informed child.

Every time she went to bed, got breakfast, and woke up, she complained about not being treated as a human being.

There were many times when I always said that like a habit and was caught by a person called ‘Director’.

On the day we were caught like that, the two of us should have shared a room without Ilet. The room was spacious, but the room without an elet was a little lonely.

It wasn’t until the next night that Iret returned.

His whole body was stained blue, and his eyes were so swollen that he couldn’t open them properly.

I didn’t know what happened to Iret. No, I pretended not to know.

Occasionally there were days when the ‘director’ would take us all out of the room.

The ‘Director’ I remember was a woman with shoulder-length hair with a thick, greasy chin.

She was talking to us nervously as she wiped her face, chin and neck with her handkerchief with a troubled face.

“Rinse quickly. Every nook and cranny, no place is dirty.”

All the words he said on that day were the same sentence. The same words without a single error as if they were recorded.

The act of washing was like receiving a prize for me.

It was fun to see the grime and dust on my body flow through the transparent water and turn it into a pitch-black color.

I washed myself until the running water became completely transparent. On days like that, I always washed until my skin swelled up enough to burst at the slightest touch to the wall.

The ‘Director’ looked at me with a satisfied face.

The day after we washed was like a feast for us.

Once in half a year, they dress you in clothes suitable for your dry body. Even if it touches the skin, it doesn’t hurt or feel uncomfortable, and I wear clothes that seem to hug me warmly.

It was nice because it blocked the wind and was warm enough even though it was a loose-fitting garment that seemed to cover the entire torso.

It was one of the few moments where I could talk to other people.

We talked about our individual circumstances.

I had no resistance to this life, and others did not.

Some of the namesakes wept and cursed the situation, but when they did, some of the ‘directors’ took them and disappeared.

An hour or so later they returned. With the crying stopped, with the mouth shut.

The ‘director’ told us not to talk carelessly, to smile while saying ‘I’m happy’, and to tell us that we were eating a lot of delicious food.

It was much easier than moving the body.

And after the ‘director’ talks, and after spending some time, someone comes to this place.

On this day, the ‘Director’ took off his usual blinding accessories and greeted them in a similar outfit to us.

After spending some time with them, they ask us questions after they have withdrawn from the ‘Director’.

It was always the same type of question.

I recited the set answer as the ‘director’ had told me.

So did others.

Time passed.

body grew Learned some facts.

Danio and Iret, who seemed to be together forever, disappeared.

I had a room alone.

So it was more lonely.

Eating was the same. It was like working.

didn’t have a name yet. At first, no one called me.

I always lived the same life over and over again.

Emotions wear off and the body adapts to the mortification.

There were no mirrors, so I didn’t even care about how I behaved. Everyone was the same.

The ‘Director’ called some children from time to time and made them never come back.

I couldn’t tell if it was death or release. ‘The Director’ didn’t call me, and I couldn’t get out of here.

she liked me

I realized one thing.

I, we were living a life no different from slaves.

I thought it was normal to live like this. I thought everyone lived like this.

But no. Maybe I already knew it, but I didn’t admit it.

I knew what to eat for lunch.

But nothing came to mind. Because I’ve never eaten anything else.

Even if you know the truth, what you can do won’t change.

Waiting for breakfast and going to work. After lunch, come back and receive a small ration of water to finish the day.

The building that confined us became more and more dazzling and taller, while the place we were in went lower and lower.

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Now, even when I go to work, I have to climb dozens of stairs.

The ‘directors’ looked at us and laughed.

offspring without parents. Idiots who can’t resist, etc.

Didn’t reply.

I’ve seen people who talk back get carried away by their hands, and they’re all right.

It was always the same day.

always ate the same

always did the same thing

I fell asleep like I always fainted.

The same as always, I woke up with a stiff sensation all over my body.

I waited for the occasional time to wash my body. Because it was the only prize.

‘Will my life end like this? Without even seeing their parents’ faces…’

There are days when I feel like that sometimes. The thought of being alone in a room filled with the smell of earth and human stench, with no view of the outside world, made me sad.

At that time, I always suppressed my voice and cried.

Because I felt like the ‘director’ would drag me away.

But soon, that fear began to dissipate.

You can live by doing what you do.

This is routine and will not change.

everyone will live like this

Don’t everyone around me live like this?

I was able to change my mind easily because this was the only thing I experienced.

As time passed, the room got smaller.

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No, the bigger my body got, the smaller the room got.

As my hair grew, the lower I went.

Lower than my childhood room. The intensity of sunlight decreases and only the stairs to climb increase.

Even the ‘directors’ don’t come here often because they’re having a hard time.

The eyes looking at me are shrinking. Even so, I always repeated the same life without thinking about going out.

Because this was my daily routine.

And one day, as I was washing my body following the ‘Director”s order and thinking about a set answer, I picked up a bunch of papers that someone had thrown away.

I hid it under my baggy clothes.

I’ve been with the ‘directors’ and ‘director’ for quite some time, so they don’t think I’m hiding something.

I escaped their surveillance and entered the room.

I was just curious. The letters Iret had told me were written in full.

I read it by leaning on the very dim light in the hallway.

to forget the silence. to escape the dark.