Unrequited Love

At three o'clock in the morning, Jiang Baili carefully twisted the doorknob and tiptoed into the door. She saw Luo Zhi sitting on the lower bunk bed with her knees hugged. The Walkman screen was shining brightly, illuminating her face.

"Still not sleeping?"

"Where have you been?" Luo Zhi's voice was completely drowsy, "I call your cell phone, and you keep turning it off."

Belle smiled embarrassedly, and then slowly said, "The phone is dead. I...hang out with a new friend."

"New friends? Play until three in the morning?" Luo Zhi simply turned off the Walkman: "Are you crazy?!"

"Really... very congenial."

"Boy?"

"It's a man...not a boy."

"...Big...uncle?"

"Not the uncle... he is thirty-one this year... he is not a bad guy."

The last sentence made Luo Zhi roll his eyes, even though she knew Belle couldn't see it.

"Be careful next time with this kind of thing, you really think that Xiaobai is invincible in the world."

Belle giggled: "Luo Zhi, you are talking more and more. Are you worried that I have been waiting until now?"

Luo Zhi's mouth bends, and his voice is still flat: "I have insomnia, it has nothing to do with you. Go to bed."

Belle washed and changed clothes, and after a long time of tossing, she finally climbed onto the bed. Luo Zhi didn't guess wrong, Jiang Baili had a peach blossom, it must be impossible to fall asleep peacefully. She stood upright on the upper bunk for five minutes, then suddenly turned over and whispered to Luo Zhi in the lower bunk: "Did you sleep yet?"

"Hurry up since eighth."

Belle laughed stupidly: "Do you know? Actually, he is... he is the sponsor of the school this year. I also attended the reception just now."

"Oh, that saw the Virgin's aperture above your head and then noticed you?"

"Don't talk nonsense. We didn't mention anything tonight, I think he shouldn't see me and them..."

"His last name is Gu?" Luo Zhi interrupted her without hesitation.

Congratulations, your Virgin Glory, he bathed from beginning to end. In the end, she endured without saying.

"I really didn't expect that he and you later... Does this man have a religious complex?"

Luo Zhi tried very hard to calm her tone of voice-it was incredible that the man had persevered in talking to her at the meeting, but now she actually fell in love with Jiang Baili again-she actually became twin sisters with Jiang Baili ?

It really hurts self-esteem.

"Do you know him?!" Belle patted the railing excitedly.

"Just leave it alone, tell me, how did you meet?"

Jiang Baili lay back on the bed gently, did not speak for a long time, just sighed quietly.

by. Luo Zhi said silently in his heart.

"Without him, my nose would freeze into a cone of ice." Jiang Baili's opening remarks suffices to explain that her previous hesitation was not artificial, it was because of the girl's shyness.

Jiang Baili was walking silently on the small road, complaining about why she didn't bring a pack of facial tissues as she walked. Unstoppable tears can be wiped with a sleeve, but what about the nose? The cold wind blew on the face, and although the tears dries quickly, the skin seems to be sticky, tight and hard to make an expression.

She was hesitating whether she was going to wipe her nose with her sleeve, when suddenly a man's voice came from behind: "Classmate, please ask, is this road leading to that royal garden?"

"What royal garden? This road is definitely not. If you don't get out of the school wall, you won't be able to reach the Summer Palace by any road." She didn't dare to turn her head back, and nothing good would happen when she turned her nose.

"It's not the Summer Palace... I heard that there is a beautiful protected building in the southeast of your school. It turned out to be a royal garden with rockery and lake..."

"Over there." She stretched out her left hand and pointed randomly, still not looking back.

The male voice behind him was silent for a while and laughed—the laughter was really nice. "Why don't you always look back? I've bumped into a faceless ghost."

Jiang Baili endured violently, but still lost his confidence, and asked cautiously: "That... do you have facial tissue?"

The man took a step closer and gently touched her arm. She took it and saw that it was a light gray handkerchief with great texture. She guessed that the price must be high. Although she didn't recognize the logo, she could touch all good things.

In any case, she was desperate.

"Um... do you have... facial tissue? I said facial tissue, one yuan per bag of love! This is unnecessary......"

Either you hurry up or give me facial tissues, I can't stand it! Jiang Baili wailed in her heart, and handed her handkerchief to the man behind in an extremely contorted posture.

"No. Don't dare, handkerchief for you."

The man's voice was smiling, although it was a little teasing, but it was still kind. She was cruel, unwrapped the handkerchief, and pretended to wipe the tears, then wiped her nose very quickly, trying to make no sound, and then quickly put the handkerchief in her pocket, and turned her head back and smiled in kindness at the other party. .

Frozen there immediately.

Under the orange street lamp, the handsome man wrapped in black coat, with a steady and open-minded temperament between his eyebrows and eyes, was opening an insightful, narrow and kind smile at her.

Jiang Baili suddenly remembered the black car that drove all the gangsters away a long time ago, and the cool boy. It was the same orange street lamp, and it was also such a black figure when she was embarrassed. She cried out, squatting on the ground and hugging her legs. This time, it really couldn't end.

She is not a Virgin or Nemesis. She was just an ordinary Jiang Baili. When the boy said to her "let's break up", she could neither turn around nor walk away calmly, nor did she have the ability to slap her hand in a handsome way to relieve her anger. Wanting to take a higher posture, he finally wet his eyes hopelessly and asked him why. He didn't mention Chen Mohan, he only said that he was sorry, but that there was no reason. But she is only obsessed with one question, why.

He said helplessly: "You really want to know, I'll make up one for you now."

He refused to give a reason.

The man squatted next to her and patted her shoulder lightly, and said helplessly, "Isn't it just wiping my nose? No shame at all."

"I was dumped," she choked, "I don't know which one is more embarrassing. In fact, the most embarrassing thing is that the whole world knows that I love him so much."

He just patted her softly and said softly: "What does the whole world know? There are only twenty-four hours a day, no one wants to be distracted to see you. So don't spend all your time looking at you. Boyfriend."

He walked slowly with her. Jiang Baili embarrassedly took out the handkerchief that had wiped his nose and used it again, but did not avoid him this time.

"Who are you?" Her nose was blocked, and she made a sound like a cold.

"My name is Gu Zhiye, and I am a representative sent by the sponsor of your student union this year to attend the reception tonight."

"My name is Jiang Baili," she said happily, "I am in my sophomore year at the School of Economics. I was also in the reception just now."

"That's great. Can you accompany me to find the place where the cocktail party was just now? My car was parked there. I thought the atmosphere was boring, and I went out by myself, but I got lost. The roads of your school are sloppy. Confused. Fortunately I met you."

She smiled and said "no problem". His car was parked in the backyard of the exchange center building. She watched him walk towards an Audi. She couldn't tell what A6A8 was. She only knew that it was four laps, and only knew that it was the car that Gobi was in when she appeared in front of her. Damn tears, the handkerchief was crumpled by her.

When he opened the door of the car, he raised his hand and glanced at his watch, and said, "If you don't want to go back, there are almost three hours before the New Year anyway. Shall we go for a drink together?"

Jiang Baili wanted to swear to Luo Zhi, she did think about it at the time—but he smiled like a big boy, raised his hands and surrendered and said to her: "I'm not a bad person, and I'm not to blame the uncle."

She nodded firmly at once, for fear that she nodded too late to say she was hypocritical.

In fact, she was not going to a bar. He suddenly changed his mind, saying that the bar was too messy for her, and asked her if she wanted to go. She thought for a long time before saying, what do you think of Haagen-Dazs? After that, I felt that I was so guilty in the winter, and I wanted to bite my tongue off. She wanted him to veto, but was afraid that he would laugh at her.

Unexpectedly, Gu Zhiye smiled indifferently and said, let's go.

Let's go.

Belle is very grateful for his attitude. Gobi always mocked her, as if she said nothing was right. Therefore, she felt that Gu Zhiye was too calm and masculine when he said "Let's go". In fact, she didn't know what to talk to him, but she was at ease in front of him. He was much older than her. He had long since faded away from the anxiety and sharpness of boys like Gobi and others. She knew how to distinguish gentlemen from weakness, domineering and pretending to be cool. difference between.

"In addition to studying, what do you usually like to do?"

Belle tried hard to think about what she could call a hobby, and came to a frustrating conclusion: "I watch novels online, dive in BBS, watch Korean dramas, I also like gossip on the horizon..."

Unexpectedly, Gu Zhiye did not laugh, but continued to ask with relish: "What novel do you like to read?"

Belle is even more embarrassed. She hopes she can like some representative works of the ×× genre, or early works of the ×× Nobel Prize winners. Sitting face to face with such a gentle man, shouldn't we talk about this topic? However, she decided to tell the truth.

"Romance novels. Especially Taiwan's early words."

At the beginning, the words that she was afraid of disdain were hidden in front of Chen Mohan, but finally he said it openly. Whatever she said, she thought, is it you who has taste but not taste?

She thought he would ask her with a bewildered face what it was. Unexpectedly, he frowned and sighed in distress.

"It's the kind of romance novel with a small format? The cover is colorful?"

She nodded.

"I also think it's funny, what should you do, will you laugh at me? A 31-year-old man?"

His frown was exaggerated as if he were acting, but he was cute. Belle was speechless for a long time, and could only say softly: "Actually...you like to watch this, it's a bit perverted..."

Her confession made him laugh.

"I had a girlfriend in college who liked these things very much. I always suspected that there is something fascinating about this kind of pocket book, and I felt a headache when I looked at the cover. At that time, I was under a lot of pressure at work. It’s a wealthy person, just go to the nightclub to burn money—even my girlfriend at the time thought so. In fact, there are a lot of troubles, no matter how much money is, my father is very demanding of me, as are other uncles. All fighting..." He stopped, took a sip of water, and looked at her.

"I'm off topic, what are you doing? In short, my little girlfriend is always stupid, holding a book in the corner of the sofa, crying and laughing for a while. She is not pretty at all, she is also fat, but I like it very much. Her innocence was innocent. But, over time, this innocence made me feel that she was raising a daughter. She had no intention of going to work or growing up. She just wanted to rely on my tree. Besides, I had no money at that time, even Not even a tree. I'm tired.

"Later I broke up. She has more than 20 books left in my house. I don't know if you said something in Taiwanese. One day after a long time, I suddenly remembered her-all the women I met at that time... No matter. In short, I miss her very much, so I just picked up a book to read. The book is actually quite interesting, not so much intrigue, a lot more exaggerated than real life, and it really coaxes girls. But more importantly , I saw my ordinary and innocent little girlfriend there."

Belle sighed for a long time: "I'm sorry, I won't comfort others."

"Why do you want to comfort me?" He smiled, his eyes widened, and his whole body was immersed in memories.

Belle laughed: "It would be fine if my roommate was there. She is very venomous, but she speaks quite reasonable. Although she is a little bit cold, she is kind."

"Your roommate?"

"Well, in fact, tonight, she accompanied me to the reception. I originally went to smash my ex-boyfriend's place."

The second half of her sentence made him laugh: "Smash your student union venue? Anyway, I'm also one of the sponsors. Did you smash it later?"

"No." She shook her head.

At that time, she didn't know that she accidentally directed a loan of a knife to kill, and finally successfully smashed the scene.

"I used to be a typical brainless, only three tricks-crying, making trouble, and breaking up. Today... Luo Zhi said that I finally learned a little smarter, but I don't like this. I think I have changed."

Belle grinned and wanted to smile, but the corner of her mouth was downward, and she stopped in time. She wandered aimlessly outside the venue for half an hour, telling herself that love is not selfless devotion, is it perfection, isn't it just as long as he has a good life, why should she be like this? Even if she was accompanied by her in his student union's "government career", but that period of gray-headed days passed, standing on the top, looking at the mountains, and standing next to him shouldn't be the yellow-skinned, mediocre wives — you see, you see , The pair of Bi people in the venue, why did she worry about debt collection? Is she too selfish?

But she really hates it. She felt hollowed out. She had given him everything, and it was impossible to start from scratch.

Then she met Liu Jing—how could Liu Jing let go of such an opportunity to hit her? The Gobi used Liu Jing. After crying and making troubles, Jiang Baili got Gobi's apologize and change of heart. The ambiguous Liu Jing was abandoned by Gobi after the student union canvassing was over. Facing Liu Jing, who was aggressive and not calm, Jiang Baili had an IQ for the first time in her life. She pretended to be very pitiful, and successfully directed the firepower to Chen Mohan in the venue, but in the end she still gently said to her: "I am different from you, even if compared to his new girlfriend, he Still love me more, who made me treat him so nicely?"

Liu Jing finally got angry. Jiang Baili was right. Liu Jing wanted to use herself to attack Chen Mohan, not only embarrassing Belle, but also making Chen Mohan faceless. Who in the Student Union does not know Gobi and Jiang Baili? The Gobi still has to climb up, and Liu Jing has gradually been marginalized. As a sophomore vice minister, she naturally doesn't care about others, so what if it is a sophomore?

This is exactly what Jiang Baili wanted. She wants everyone to know that Gobi has let her down, and everyone—including Gobi, knows that Jiang Baili used to treat Gobi wholeheartedly, and she still complains with virtue. This behavior of her seems to be foolish to others, but in terms of sympathy points, it must be so high.

The most important thing is that her ultimate weight is that she believes that Gobi still has a conscience, and Gobi does not love her at all.

Even if she didn't love, she didn't feed the dog all the time she walked with him.

"Later... Later I left the contact information, and he sent me back."

"I feel very happy," Luo Zhi said lazily.

"I picked up a new friend on the road. Of course I am..."

"Hey, the age of thirty-one is when you are attractive, young and mature, gentle and golden, handsome and handsome, you actually use "new friends" to summarize it, which is really ridiculous."

"Stop making trouble. By the way, he said he would call you to dinner next time."

forget it. Luo Zhi felt his scalp numb when thinking of the man who could not get through with her earphones at night.

"Actually... if he is really good, I think you..." Luo Zhi said hesitantly, but couldn't make it to the end.

Belle in the upper bunk kept silent for Luo Zhi's ellipsis for a long time, and finally turned over heavily.

"He is a good man. But I love Gobi."

Luo Zhi was speechless. For the first time, she felt that Jiang Baili's sour declaration of love gave her no courage to mock.

Jiang Baili had just washed the gray handkerchief carefully and gently in the water room, hung it on the railing beside the bed, and the fragrance of the washing powder spread to the pillow. Both of these people once stood under the street lamp, the same scene, not the same heart. There is indeed such a thing as "you must" in the world. Even if all the men are pulled into the same pose under the orange street lamp, she only loves a Gobi who doesn't know where it is good.

"By the way, Luo Zhi, that Sheng Huainan..."

Belle spoke, but she didn't hear an echo for a long time, she was a little surprised, and she poked her head to look down at the floor. Luo Zhi was flipping the phone, and the white light of the screen reflected on her face, expressionless.

After a long time, Luo Zhi said softly, "Go to sleep."

Clear snow floated outside the window. They both thought that the other party was asleep, but they heard another sob at the moment when the tears were blurred.

They asked, what happened later

DearDiary:

I once read a fairy tale written by Andersen to Tiffany and Jake.

A long time ago, there was an emperor. Legend has it that there is a nightingale in his territory that is more beautiful than anything else, but he never knew it. A group of servants went through all the hardships to catch Nightingale and turn the legend into reality. The singing of Nightingale swept the country. However, a mechanical imitation that a neighboring country paid tribute to, because the tune was smooth and easy to imitate, and the body was studded with jewels and jade, it soon replaced the nightingale. Nightingale walked away lightly when everyone worshipped and watched the imitations.

When I read this, the two children looked confused and kept asking: "Is that it? Is it gone? What happened later? What happened later?"

and after? Then everyone forgot about Nightingale. Later, the imitation product malfunctioned, repaired, and malfunctioned. Later, the emperor was critically ill, and everyone was talking about his death and the future new emperor, leaving him alone on the sick bed, watching the death **** in the moonlight approaching step by step. At this time, he heard the singing of Nightingale. Outside the window, it was as beautiful as it was before. The melody that flowed out was not something that the craftsmanship of imitations could capture and imitate. Death asked Nightingale to continue singing, and for this he contributed his crown and sickle, so he could no longer reap the emperor's life.

I know what the two children are expecting. They look forward to the king's re-recognition of the value of the nightingale, look forward to the return of the nightingale like the king of the night, and look forward to the short-sighted and shallow subjects hanging their heads in front of the nightingale, ashamed that they have put the pearl in dust.

However, the later part of the story does not always make them what they want.

Nightingale dispelled the emperor's idea of ​​smashing the counterfeit goods. It said that when it wanted to come to see the emperor, it would perch on the branches of the twilight and sing those who are happy and those who are suffering. It sings good and evil. It will stay by the poor fisherman and fly to everyone away from the emperor and the palace.

It said: "I love your heart more than the crown."

"However, I want to ask you to promise me one thing: please don't tell anyone that you have a little bird who will tell you everything. Only in this way can everything be good."

So Nightingale flew away.

The emperor stood up and said to the attendants who came in to check his death: "Good morning."

I know that this story is far less pleasant to Tiffany and the others than a story of delight. Maybe a long time later, when they grow up, have been kings, and have been night warblers, they will understand that the reunion in the eyes of the onlookers may not be something the people in the play are willing to bear.

Sometimes the best story is the whispering whispers from the treetops at dusk when no one knows.

That was the last story I told them. Their family had already fired the driver. After work, I took the subway back to school by myself. In the dark tunnel, the white iron world swayed with the track. I looked at the few passengers in the deserted carriage, trying to figure out the story behind their faces.

Perhaps the stiff expression hides the longing for a person; perhaps while reading the newspaper while slandering overtime without paying money; perhaps, after nine deaths, he finally waved goodbye to the past and lived the life of ordinary people.

We are all the same people. Mediocre, it doesn't seem worthy to have an outstanding story; it's piled up by life, and you can't even tell the difference.

However, we all know our unique secret. To sum it up, there are a few similar words; when spread out, there are very different textures and textures. It is like a birthmark, condensed under the clothes, usually you will not deliberately think of it, but always in the private moments of being alone, undressing, bathing, lowering your head, and suddenly seeing it.

Secrets make everyone different.

Therefore, the song of Nightingale does not need to be sung to the palace.

If one day, it is my turn to tell the secret into a story.

The story I want to tell is called "I once liked someone".

This sentence may make many people sigh.

And what they really want to hear is whether we were together later.

If I say, later we were together, then quarreled, then separated, and then together again, and then we had an affair, and then we were jealous of each other about buying a house, and then we got the certificate, and then the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law fought.

If I said, I confessed it later, but the other party ignored it, and then we turned against each other, and then we settled down on our previous suspicions and became happy.

Of course, I made it up. There is not so much reality in my story that there is no escape. People who tell a good story always know where to end, cut redundancy, and leave the best.

Until it is complacent, retreats into a cocoon.

In this way, my secret is beautiful. It's called secret love, it's called youth, it's called regret, it's called just accept it, it's called an immortal youth.

But I am not that kind of person.

Many people have loved someone they can't get, or they love it because they can't get it.

And what I want is not a beautiful regret.

I didn't know that I was such a brave person.

and after?

Later, every evening, the nightingale fell on the treetop outside the window.

What I have been obsessed with for so many years turned out to be these, not the person.

——From Luo Zhi's diary