Under Her Cursed Scythe

Finally! The girl thought.

"Name-" She paused. "Who am I kidding?" The girl gave a bitter chuckle.

"What's the use of mentioning his name now? He won't know I'm not the real deal… I'm just a bloody-" She broke off, surprised.

"I'm just a…bloody…" She tried to squash down the lump in her throat.

Queer. She used to get over what she had done with simple sarcastic jokes of herself. But this time was different: she couldn't "get over it". Her breath hitched. Her palm tightened on the glowing ball. And she knew something was wrong.

'Damn it! I shouldn't have looked into his eyes! I shouldn't have! Damn it!' She showered herself with curses. Then, she thought. 'Quick! Say those "magic words"! Say it and be done with it!'

"I'm sorry." she mumbled under her breath after sparing one final look at the man.

Then, robotically, she stood up again, thrusting the glowing ball into a black oil lantern that held several other glowing figures; tapping the top of the lantern three times to shrink it back into the size of a keychain; sliding it back into the pocket of her black hooded jacket; and forced her feet to walk away from the dead.

First step. Second step. Pause. 'Perhaps, I can still-' A shot of pity went through her.

'No!' She told her brain.

Third step. Fourth step. Pause. 'But he doesn't deserve-'

'No!' She snapped at herself again.

Fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth…

Once she was far, that urge of going back wasn't there anymore. Yet, she couldn't help feeling a tinge of tingling sensation which she hadn't felt for quite a while rising up somewhere around her chest and uncontrollably seeping into her mind.

'No! Stop it! Stop doing that!' Again and again, the girl punched her temple with the ankle of her hand, as though doing so could squash down the rush of conflicting emotions that were battling space in her head and abstain herself from dwelling on certain hopeful thoughts. 'You've got to stop it now or else you would ruin everything! Stop it! Stop thinking there's gonna be an alternative! Stop it! We don't have a choice! We-'