Episode 18: The Twisted Past.

If I were to tell you about my childhood, it would be quite long.

So let me explain briefly…

I remember home as a place that was not very hopeful to me.

Because there was more happiness to find after leaving the house than to find happiness after entering the house.

..But what the hell is this?

“Myeong-am, today is the tteokgalbi you’ve been wanting to eat. Do you eat a lot?”

The dark and nonexistent space just a moment ago has turned into the house I remember as a child.

The living room is not very spacious but looks cozy.

All kinds of graffiti painted on the wall.

..It was exactly the house in my memory.

“Kim Myung-am. Stop fooling around and eat now.”

“..Ah. Yes.”

My father, who was sitting in front of me, spoke in a stern tone, and I picked up the spoon involuntarily.

Hot steam was rising from the rice, and the smells enticing the nose wafted from the side dishes.

“Eat a lot, Myung-am.”

My mother, who was sitting next to me, placed a small piece of tteokgalbi on top of my spoon.

“…..”

I ate without saying a word, moving my spoon and chopsticks.

..Home-cooked food must taste like this.

I mumbled and chewed my rice.

My mother served me various side dishes whenever my spoon was empty.

“…What’s the matter? Normally, when I put a side dish on it, he complained that he didn’t want to eat it.”

My father, who was eating while reading the newspaper, saw me eating without complaint and said,

“..Just like that. Now you’re old enough to stop whining.”

“Huh! Guy. Are you already an adult?”

My father snorted and turned his gaze back to the newspaper.

“Is my son grown up?

My mother stroked my hair whenever I ate well.

From noble mtl dot com

My father looked at me like that and said.

“Kim Myung-am. There is no cram school today, right?”

“…Yes.”

“..Then let’s eat and go somewhere to play. Sometimes we go on a picnic with the family.”

“……”

Just like that, the meal time passed.

When mealtime was over, my father very casually went to the sink and started washing the dishes.

My mother hung out the remaining laundry and headed to the veranda on the living room side.

“…Is it normal? This is it.”

I was sitting in the living room watching TV talking to myself.

On TV, Magical Girl Shine was airing.

The magical girl Shine on TV was fighting against the villains with her shiny blonde hair flying.

…A happy situation.

If you have a family, of course you should enjoy it.

It is a situation that should become a daily life.

..But for me, it was just such a situation full of a sense of difference.

I looked down at the floor.

The cross of self-control that had disappeared was lying in front of my feet before I knew it.

As if they were forcing me to choose.

Is this a cruel and dangerous reality?

A beautiful and happy delusion.

“……”

I looked up again and looked at the magical girl Shine in the TV.

Beautiful and strong.

I have endured her childhood watching her get up again and again even though she falls down.

“…Yes.”

I look back to the floor.

I lifted the cross of self-control that was lying there.

Jerbug. That buck

I got up and headed to the sink.

His steps are heavy.

Jerbug. That buck

But I went ahead.

Toward the sink.

Towards the place I need to be.

“.. Kim Myung-am?”

My father called me by name as if he noticed me approaching from behind.

“..Father.”

“Why is that?”

“..Have you stopped drinking lately?”

“Huh.”

My father sighed.

Dalgrak. Dalgrak.

The dishes made a loud noise as they clashed.

“I quit. You know that Daddy shouldn’t drink.”

“…….”

I looked at my father’s back.

Sturdy, reliable.

It was my father’s back that I had hoped for.

“..As expected.”

I gripped the cross of temperance tightly.

“This can’t be real.”

“…? Kim Myung-am. What did you say…”

Hook.

I stabbed my father’s back with the cross I had longed for.

..If only I had the courage to do this in my childhood.

You wouldn’t have suffered so much.

“…Light…Dark?”

“Have you stopped drinking? You?”

Bullsh*t.

“You who drank several bottles of soju a day. You, who were drunk with alcohol and wielded violence in a state of insanity.”

I looked up and saw my father’s face looking down at me in despair.

“There’s no way I can stop drinking so easily.”

The part where I pierced the cross began to gradually turn into powder.

“I’m sorry. You don’t fit the role of such a sweet father.”

“…Sorry…”

“Don’t apologize. You are not that person.”

As the parts of his body that gradually turned to powder began to widen, something resembling his father opened his mouth and tried to apologize.

I disliked it so much that I stopped it.

“Turn it off.”

I pulled out the cross that was stuck in the back of something that resembled my father.

Something resembling my father completely turned into powder and scattered into the air.

Then, as if an error had occurred, the entire kitchen scene crackled.

I was distracted by the violently shaking scenery around me and closed my eyes.

After waiting for a while, I opened my eyes.

“..Yes. This is my home.”

The graffiti on the white wallpaper turned into a dirty wallpaper with stains here and there.

The clean floor was dirty with bottles of alcohol rolling around.

It has finally become a familiar house to me.

I looked back with a broken smile.

“..You make that choice after all. Myeong-am-ah”

Behind me was something in the shape of a mother holding dry laundry in her hands.

“…Enough. Let’s stop now. Moderation.”

I grabbed the cross of temperance again and slowly approached something in the shape of a mother.

“Why are you doing this? The light and shade I saw in your memory has no such thing as happiness. That’s why I gave you the happiness that the light and shade you have never experienced. Why? Why are you trying to get out of this happy dream?”

“Because this isn’t real. Besides, my real family is out there.”

I glared at something in the shape of a mother with anger in my eyes.

His mouth was filled with hatred.

“How about a fantasy or a dream. Isn’t this the future you’ve been hoping for, Myeong-Am?”

“Shut up. At least my mother didn’t talk to me in that sweet tone. If she was going to copy it, she should have copied it exactly. That would have improved her chances of success just a little bit.”

The mother in my memory was no different from her father.

It’s just that his hitting power is weaker than his father’s.

The only difference between father and mother is that they are fists filled with resentment somewhere, unlike father’s fists, which do not contain any emotion.

I gripped the cross tightly.

“I will definitely survive. In real life.”

I glared at moderation.

But in front of my eyes was the image of her mother from her childhood.

I glared at him and let out a small sigh.

Things I wanted to say but couldn’t.

“..Why did you abandon me?”

I saw something in the shape of my mother.

“It didn’t matter until I hit me. Like my father, the intensity of the violence wasn’t that great. After beating me, he always treated me to see if I felt guilty.”

My vision was blurry.

“Why did you abandon me? After you abandoned me, the thing I couldn’t stand the most wasn’t my father’s fist.”

I closed my eyes tightly.

“It was loneliness. It was loneliness that plagued me when I shut myself up in the darkest corner of the house, hiding from my father’s gaze and fists.”

I laughed heartily.

Tears flowed down my cheeks before I knew it.

I raised my hand and wiped away the tears.

I don’t want to shed any more tears over this.

Because I already shed too much in my childhood.

“Okay. It wouldn’t mean much if I said this to someone who wasn’t the person involved.”

I approached the moderation again.

“..Is this really your choice?”

“Looks like you don’t even want to imitate the tone anymore. Yes. This is my choice.”

I raised the cross in my hand.

..I want to try this…

I said looking at a very familiar face in front of me.

“You told me as you left me and left me. Take care of yourself somehow. I’m your son. I decided to listen to that. So.”

I swung the cross toward temperance.

“Don’t interfere. I will survive.”

…By all means.

Oddly enough.

The temperance was laughing.

“..Yes. That’s how you are.”

While saying strange things that I couldn’t understand.

******

“…Huh uh uh uh!!”

I woke up from a deep sleep.

“Boss! Wake up!”

The first person to greet me after waking up was none other than Crow.

“…Huh…Huh… Damn…”

I wiped the cold sweat from my forehead.

I instinctively looked around.

We were in the middle of a huge clearing left over from gluttony eating.

The gluttony that had that huge body disappeared without a trace, and all that remained was the ruins created by the gluttony.

That’s crazy. If it was just a little bit later, people might have been harmed.

…But why is the floor soft?

I slightly raised my head at the softness I felt in the back of my head.

“..Are you awake, lord?”

Xiao was looking down at me with a somewhat angry expression.

“…Well.”

I looked up at Xiao’s face for a while, then awkwardly got up from Xiao’s lap.

“……”

“……”

“…….”

For a while the three of us didn’t say anything.

…To be precise, I was the only one.

Xiao and Crow were staring at me fiercely, as if they had no intention of speaking.

Because I was just staring down at the floor, weighed down by those gazes.

“..Lord.”

“…..Why?”

“Wasn’t it something you could have entrusted to us?”

Xiao looked at me with ominous pink eyes.

..Xiaoya. I am your lord Put the butterflies in.

As if in response to Xiao’s emotions, the butterflies that bloomed suddenly began to fly around.

“Why do people who don’t even have the ability step forward like that? You can leave it to us.”

“That’s right boss. Bosses are weak.”

….Children.

Isn’t that a bit harsh?

Of course, it is a fact.

“..Sorry, but I had to. I needed something to use it.”

Perhaps if Crow and Xiao did… Crow and Xiao might have seen more terrible things.

“…I understand. It is my duty as a military man to trust my lord.”

“..Huh.”

Crow sighed and put a hand on my head.

“Don’t do this again.”

“…I’ll try.”

“How much did the iron bars sell for?”

It’s so serious that it scares me, so stop it.

Xiao put on an expression that seemed to be attracted to Crow’s words.

..I’m afraid.

“..Enough! It’s time for Haein to wake up, so let’s go!”

I looked around on the floor.

I soon found a black discolored cross lying on the floor.

The cross, which boasted a pure white surface, was now stained black.

And this phenomenon meant only one thing.

Success. Surely.

I took the cross and put it in my bosom.

“…Let’s go.”

I stood up, and Xiao and Crow followed me.

“..Ugh. Is it morning already?”

Crow said frightened.

As Crow said, the sun was slowly rising.

Repelling the darkness of the night and breaking the power of the moon, the sun was rising to sit on the throne of the sky once again.

…That’s cool.

I said softly as I watched the sunrise.

“Shall we have tteokgalbi for breakfast this morning?”

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