The Villainess and I, her Zombie

"Seriously – I thought that elves' cursing was supposed to be a defense mechanism against situations just like that."

Zombie shook his head in disbelief and seated himself at Lair's table, opposite to the stunning elven mage and right next to the shocked copper-eyed disguised bodyguard.

"A food for and drink for my lovely wife, please – all on her."

The blue undead called out looking over at the hesitant Ti.

"And for this one... I don't care – toss her a salad or something."

He added motioning at Laris with his chin...

"Zombie...!"

Cranberry gasped and stared at him in disbelief.

"What? Alright, fine, whatever is today's special plus beer – it's not like I'm paying anyway."

The blue undead knight didn't even flinch and shrugged his shoulders, causing Cranberry to blush flustered – unsure whether she understood him correctly or was just overthinking his choice of words.

"Wait – hold the fuck on – what the fuck are the two of you even doing here?"

Lairs shook her head and furrowed her brows staring in disbelief at the couple in front of her.

"Taking a short break before starting an important quest – what about it?"

Zombie shrugged his shoulders and hugged Cranberry from behind as if she was a life-sized plush toy.

"Do you want to go with us? I could use having more people in my party – I kind of want to get the chance of using the vengeance skill – but I will not be able to stay calm enough to actually focus on checking its effectiveness if Cranberry will be the one getting hurt."

He added offhandedly, casually suggesting that he wants Lairs to join them as a potential punching bag for the potential enemies.

"What? Fuck no!"

The green-haired elf scoffed, shaking her head from right to left and crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"Fine. Still – going back to that defense mechanism – why are you continue doing it even though it doesn't work at all?"

"...!"

Zombie nodded and tilted his head, repeating his initial question – which caused Lairs to flinch and fidget awkwardly.

"...it usually does work – just... the thing is that sometimes some people are just that much of horndogs."

She said, shaking her head lightly, causing her deep-green hair to cascade down with the grace of an emerald waterfall.

"Ah – so that's the case."

Zombie raised his brows and nodded with realization.

"Eh...? The fuck – what case? What are you talking about now?"

Lairs furrowed her brows in confusion and asked, leaning forward.

"Nothing – just that since your hair turned green the aura surrounding you changed for a much gentler one – you stopped thinking that you are cursed and aren't as much on guard anymore."

The blue undead night explained with a soft smile lowered his hand so that neither Lairs nor Cranberry would notice his palm shine with a soft murky white light as he activated one of the death-branch magic skills.

...after all, that one needed to be trained too and he had been sleeping on magic, solving all of his problems with superbia and overpower.

"...which is a good thing – but it looks like that makes creeps like that flock to you in droves."

Zombie shrugged his shoulders as he started draining the life force of almost every single patron at the in at the same time.

"I think I get what you mean, but honestly – I don't see a fucking speck of difference, fuckers like that were always a thing no matter what."

Lairs furrowed her brows before shrugging her shoulders dismissively as her expression turned bitter.

"Haaa... unfortunate."

The blue undead knight, who didn't start the conversation to be relatable but only to take the attention of the people who all started to suddenly become pale and feel sick because of his activated spell, let out a long breath and nodded his head which resulted in him resting his chin on Cranberry's head.

"What is that quest of yours, if you don't mind me asking?"

Lairs tilted her head and asked, looking between the blue undead and the red-haired girl, right as the platinum-haired barmaid was bringing them their order.

"Thank you, miss."

She added once a seaming plate was put in front of her, followed by a big jug of beer with just the right amount of foam on top.

"Yeah, thanks, Ti – now sit down because there's no reason for you to listen in to us from afar – you can learn all the information you want right here."

"!!!"

Zombie nodded at the barmaid too and casually pointed at the chair next to him and Lairs – but even though his words were calm and almost dismissive, they caused Ti to stiffen and hold up her round tray close to her body protectively.

"Sir...? Have we met each other before...?"

She asked, furrowing her brows, reapplying the vision disruption skill and playing it cool despite her life signature pulsating wildly from nervousness.

"Yes we did – not officially though – and that's why I feel like I should let you know that your skills have never worked on me – though I can't imagine why the queen keeps the most offensive-oriented members of the famous CriTiCal bodyguard trio from the Wrath family as a mere spy – or tail, or however your current position is called."

"..."

The blue undead knight waved his hand dismissively while the red-haired girl on his lap was peacefully enjoying her meal while glancing at the copper-eyed woman...

"...tsk..."

...who suddenly deactivated her skills and shook her head with an annoyed expression right before pulling out the chair for herself and seating on it heavily.

"...I was kept on the surveillance mission because I was the only one who managed to survive longer than a week..."

"What the fuck?!"

Ti revealed in an annoyed voice, dropping off the round tray and putting her elbows on the table before resting her chin on her hands and making Lairs gasp and almost choke on her beer.

"...here..."

"Ugh... ah... thanks..."

Ti glanced at her and offered the elven woman a handkerchief which Lairs gratefully accepted without hesitation.