The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guys!

Snake! Motherfucking scaly snake!

～>) ～～～～～

Snakes are both the embodiment of fear and awesomeness.

You guys ever heard the legend of the snake that turned into a dragon?

The longer they live the longer their chance at ascension.

How does that happen? Well, you see….

A dragon is a bigger version of a snake, with wings and with a breath attack.

I'm no expert. But if I had to guess….

A snake probably needs to bulk up. Go to the gym maybe?

Then it needs to evolve to get wings.

Finally, mastery of magic is a given.

All that knowledge I have is useless given this is an unknown world?

So what….

It all doesn't matter after all since it is in fact a snake in front of me.

Well, when I say in front, I mean in my search radius.

It's still pretty far.

But I can't help but think of that dragon myth. Because of the sheer size of that snake.

10 meters is both really long …and not that impressive at the same time.

After all, it has only been a while for me here.

Yet I've already seen giant turtles, giant porcupines, giant mantis, giant wolves, giant…. you get it.

It seems like every fucking animal here is overblown.

Glad it ain't the case for the people.

*Shiver * (( ´ д｀))

I just thought of a giant Luna, I'd get crushed!

It would totally end up a case of : the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.

But hey at least I know what to expect.

I wonder how big would a whale be? 0_0

The snake is slithering around eating small creatures.

As usual. How cool would it be if I managed to tame it?

d(✪‿✪)

I could go swagger in town going: Hey gurl, do you want to see something long and hard.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Then get my tamed snake out! Look how long it is! Look how sturdy it is!

٩( ^ᴗ^ )۶

I like how I'm imagining a town…but I've yet to see one.

Let me see, Moon Keep, Dungeon, Forest, … kinda boring now that I think about it.

Oh, wait! I went to the Lunar Goddess' realm! Almost forgot! Bragging rights! Haha!

Oh, fuck! OH NO! I just remembered something really bad.

I have no photos! None whatsoever! What do I do if people don't believe me?!

That's new tourist mistake number one!

Wait, it's fine. I can just brag to my exploration elder!

He'll believe me!

Wait, no. It's not fine! Where the fuck is he?

He left a while ago. He didn't even tell me where he went!

Ah if only I had access to that BookFace thingy again.

Wait, I don't even know his name.

I wouldn't even be able to find him.

*facepalm* (－‸ლ)

Oh well

*sigh * (╯_╰)

Now back to the matter at hand. Giant snake.

Oh right, hands! That's a requirement to become a dragon too no?

To have claws.

I have a plan.

It is a carefully designed plan.

The best anyone has ever seen.

Alright, I slowly crawl my way toward the creature.

Ever so slowly. It is lazily curling around a tree.

Not knowing the danger that awaits it.

Now is the time.

3. 2. 1

LEEEEROYYYY JEENKKINS!!!!!!

☆ﾐ(o*･ω･)ﾉ

That's my plan? Yes.

I'm not the brash type haha.

1. The Snake doesn't seem too fast. As long as I'm not caught everything should go well.

2. Its territory is not bigger than the other elite monsters I've encountered. Chances are it's not too strong.

3. I'm getting used to this forest by now. I have even survived a 50m humongous Ent! Who can say that! I wouldn't know. Haven't been here long enough to see any other human. I guess some do come from time to time? Then again…it is a disaster zone.

So yeah. In that sort of situation. I'm good to go.

I'm just gonna run at it.

Hit it a bit.

Why am I directly going for offensive means?

I've seen it eat creatures my size alive. Probably a good idea to subdue it before anything.

Or not I don't know. I'm kinda excited about leaving this place.

This snake is the only thing standing before me and a new adventure.

I could just ignore it?

Well, it is like playing an RPG and actually going for the main quest….

Who the fuck does that?! You want to do all the side quests first!

ALL OF THEM! ╰(▔∀▔)╯

What about the big boss wolf and the deer?

I mean one is Wolfie's family.

At least, I think?

The other is just so damn cute.

No way I could ever hurt it!

(っ╹◡╹)っ

Now it is time for the snake to go down!

Hum.

What is that?

Is it me or did the forest just turn even darker?

WTF!

Right above me is a gaping maw.

Cruel-looking yellow glowing eyes.

Vertically slit pupils.

Two sharp snake fangs.

Saliva dripping on my head.

How did that massive body get here so fast?!

Wait, it's just the head.

Oh no!

It was prepared for my surprise frontal attack!

WHAT DO I DO!

AM I ABOUT TO BE EATEN?!

DODGE! C'MON!!!

That is the last thing I think about and then ….

Darkness.

****

I cannot see anything.

It feels like I am floating in a void.

I try to open my eyes, but I cannot perceive anything.

No light.

Darkness. Pure darkness.

So eerily dark, like an abyss.

Do I even have eyes?

I feel suffocated.

Might be psychological.

No pain.

None whatsoever.

Is this the end?

I knew a white room doesn't cut it.

Too cheesy.

For death, this is better.

Pitch black.

Swallowed by a giant ass snake.

There are worse ways to go.

My life flashes before my eyes.

The good. The bad.

It won't matter much now.

I only have one regret.

WHERE IS MY TOUCHING DEATH SCENE?!

*sigh*

Oh well…

Nothing matters.

I feel myself losing consciousness.

And thus, I slowly drift into an eternal slumber.

⎧ᴿᴵᴾ⎫