The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guys!

My disciple is happily carrying the Naked Emperor over in a huge water bubble. She is giving off a sunny smile before stopping right in front of us. Then she looks at me and the Water Princess. 

"Now there are only you two. Well, seeing the blue mark on your forehead I'm guessing it is too late for you already, ~master~!"

The way she says "master" is oozing with ridicule. This doesn't make any sense. Was she trying to get revenge for her colleagues? They mostly died from self-sacrifice, all because of her orders. 

[Why?] 

"Why? Please! Do you think I wanted to take care of such a disgusting piece of shit like you?! Do you think I wanted to lower myself to calling an idiot master?! Do you think this is any fun for me?! You act all mighty but in fact, you are only a body cultivator. Why the hell do I have to call someone that can't even control water master!"

[I never asked you to…] 

"Of course you didn't! Do you think that changes anything? All my colleagues died to open the God of Order's prison. There is no way I'd come back empty-handed. Yet all that awaited me nearby were two dumbasses! One that lives to be naked and one that lives to bullshit! It pisses me off so much." 

[So you are blaming me for a decision you made in the first place? Are you hearing yourself?] 

"You think I had a choice in the matter? I began this disgusting act to save my life you know. I'm just glad that it bore fruit. Now, with this little blue mark you will have no choice but to follow our orders, all for the sake of the Water Sect! Isn't that great?!"

[…]

The way I see it this is all a colossal waste of effort and a stupid move. I was already ready to help…now this. It all relies on one premise: the fact that the ritual is binding me. The thing is I clearly don't feel any different. 

"Actually, we need to banish the Water Princess from our midst first. (Monarch) 

"Wait…weren't we just stripping her of her title as Head-mage?!" (Fairy) 

"Didn't you see it earlier? He was able to fight back against Monarch's water chains. Usually, that wouldn't be possible for him to stand against us in any way you know. But since he was defending one of our members he could. If we don't do this, he'll be able to team up with her to somehow undermine our war efforts." (Queen) 

"Oh! That makes sense! Well, don't blame us Princess. It simply can't be helped." (Fairy) 

"Alright, who here is in favor of exiling the Water Princess from the sect for standing in the way of our development? I hereby formally agree to her being kicked out!" (Monarch) 

I like how they are simply voting without a care in the world. What should I do now? Grab my two friends and run madly? No, that probably won't work. Right now we are on the lake. I don't believe running from water mages will be that easy here. 

They'll need me to cover their backs. I need to get them to the shore first thing first. The Naked Emperor seems unconscious inside the water bubble, but Princess is clearly ready to fight back. She's grinding her teeth in anger and shaking her head slightly in disparagement. 

I lock eyes with her and give her a very subtle nod. I can see traces of surprises in her eyes. She seems perplexed by the fact that I'm not totally panicking right now. 

They are done voting. Weirdly enough it seems as if some kind of water vapor is leaving the Water Princess. It forms a seal in the air before disappearing instantly. Is this the mark of membership to the sect? 

"Great, with this we can now take care of the loose ends. We simply need to make the naked guy pledge …ah what should we do with dear old Princess?" (Monarch) 

"A pledge too is good I believe. Now shall we have some fun? Guardian, I order you to capture her!" (Queen) 

"Haha, this is so ironic. He's going to be the one to cause the direct demise of his friends. Talk about fitting after he caused the demise of mine!" ("Disciple")

Seriously, what's her problem? But this is good! I get near my pink-haired friend, and I subtly wink at her. Then I slowly walk to her and grab her, immobilizing her.

"Alright, bring her here next to that other guy and we'll begin the ceremony once more." (Queen) 

Now I need to time this well, it will be too late once the giant water swirling appears. I need to get them out of here soon. I can see how expectant they all are. Somehow, they seem to think they have won. They seem to think they are doing something right too. 

Finally, I stop right next to my naked friend. I share one last look with the girl I'm currently carrying. It is a look that clearly states that I am ready to make a move. I give her a slight smile too. There's one other that catches on to it. 

"Careful! Something isn't right!" (Fairy)

Too late! Before they can even react…. I make my move! I dash next to the water prison. I forcefully breach it, driving my entire arm inside before dragging my friend out. I feel the water resistance, but I brute force it all. With a PLOP his body comes out. 

"How?! This shouldn't be possible!" ("Disciple")

"I order you to stop at once!" (Queen)

"In the name of the Water Goddess, cease instantly!" (Monarch)

I can see how rattled they all are. I can see the visible confusion on their faces. My "disciple" is clearly freaking out. This is why villain speeches are dumb. You look like an utter fool afterward when something like this happens. 

I grin at them. Then I fling my allies far away. I see their bodies draw an arc in the air and reaching the ground. The Water Princess uses her water magic to stop their fall before dashing away. Mission fucking accomplished! That is when I turn toward the others. 

[In the name of the Water Goddess, was it? How about in my own name I tell you to all go fuck yourselves!]