The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guys!

I suddenly emerge out of the water feeling refreshed. Is it because I've just been submerged into a cold liquid? Is it because of the divine energy I breathed in? Is it the happiness of friendship blossoming? 

Who cares. I simply embrace this feeling of happiness. Right now, I feel awesome and successful. How many have managed to trick reals gods into joining their faction?! I know, impressive! 

*Exclamations of amazed readers*

From now on, this whole water sect is my playground. Should I say water park? With their Goddess as my subordinate, everything will be peachy. Now, some may object. What if she wants out when she learns that I'm a mortal? 

Well, I'd say she is, from what I've seen, the very friendly kind and she wouldn't mind too much. But what if she was acting? Well, in such a case I believe she would have stolen SHO's title of an acting god a long time ago. 

"Are you alright?!"

I can see how worried the Water Princess is. She comes closer and checks my whole body real quick, making sure that I'm fine. Actually, I've never been better. For some reason, I'm not even wet even after falling in a pond. How magical! Then again, I just saw things more baffling by far. Then she looks around nervously, apparently trying to figure out if anyone has noticed the previous scene. 

[*Reassuring tone*. Don't worry about it. I became friends with the Water Goddess, more than just friends in fact. I also have great news for you!] 

"What is it?" 

[* Manly clapping*. Congratulation! You're gonna get a promotion soon! You have me to thank for the Champion role offer. Isn't this great?!] 

I'm expecting her to smile, laugh, or even cheer, but nope. Instead, she comes closer and carefully observes my head. 

[What are you doing?] 

"Checking if you hit your head anywhere. You fell very clumsily too."

[Hey! I'm perfectly fine. You may not know this, but this statue in there is actually linked to the god realm itself. I met Aqua, we spoke a long while and at some point, I recommended you for the job.] 

"Right, right. Let me guess, she welcomed you extremely warmly. You freshened yourself in a hot shower, then you guys shared a cup of tea before talking about life itself?" 

[How did you know?!] 

"Then towards the end, things progressed so well that you guys became lifelong friends?"

[Exactly! Seriously, how did you know?! Wait, were there cameras in there?!] 

This is so eerily accurate! I'm starting to wonder if she's already received word from Aqua somehow or if she knows divination! 

"Stop nodding along! I'm obviously talking crap!" 

[What?! That's you messing around?!] 

"....Obviously! Now it's fine with me but never say stuff like that to anyone else or..."

[Wait! Tell me this quickly! How are my friends doing?! A wolf, a dwarf, a swordsman, a sunny handsome guy, a middle-aged man that I haven't seen in ages, and a moon girl!]

"You what are you...?"

[Just answer, please!] 

".... The wolf has picked up knitting, the dwarf has become king, the swordsman is so strong he's about to reach the top of the Swordsmen Leaderboard, the old man became a wise army world-conquering army commander and the moon is shining as brightly, from time to time smiting a mortal." 

[Thank you so much! Now, I'm so relieved!] 

"Why the Hell are you relived?!" This doesn't make any sense!" 

[Princess, let me tell you. Whether you know what you are doing or not I don't care. If you are as accurate as you were before then your information is reliable. Wolfie has been knitting eh?] 

"You! How would a wolf even knit?!" 

[It's Wolfie. You could tell me that she crafted a spaceship and conquered the solar system while I was gone and I'd believe it. She's really smart. Like REALY smarty!] 

Hell, it wouldn't surprise me if one day I go on a walk and come back to the entire world worshipping statues of a wolf eating barbecue while chilling. 

"What's a spaceship? Solar system? How smart can a wolf be? It's all nonsense!"

[Don't worry about it. Back where I'm from if you learned any concrete information about this stuff men wearing black would come, flash some light in your eyes and make you forget everything.] 

"....?!"

[But as I was saying, all your guesses sound logical. The dwarf was already a clan leader two years ago so it's possible. Zero is super talented, how else would he have managed to teach me so well when he was just a kid otherwise? I can see Luna smiting people that annoy her. Ah, I guess you are wrong with the old man. He's the loner type. He'd never join an army. Still pretty good.] 

"Y-you..." 

[Me?] 

"Stop messing around!" 

[?] 

"Alright, back to your previous story. Did you really meet Aqua?" 

[Of course! I'm a very upright and trustworthy individual. You can ask anyone that knows me. In fact, I've been told that I'm a bit too trustful.] 

"True..opening to strangers can truly be dangerous... Even with us, you shouldn't..."

[No worries, you guys are allies at this point.] 

"But if you truly met her, how was she?"

[Quite friendly, cheerful, blue hair, lean figure, shapely tits-] 

"You! SHH! Shut up! That's totally sacrilegious! If anyone other than me heard you, they wouldn't hesitate to drown you!" 

[What? Why? It was all compliments, true ones too.] 

"It doesn't matter! just stop!"

[Yes mom!] 

She gives an exasperated sigh while rolling her eyes upward. I can't help but chuckle a bit. She looks a bit at a loss on how to react. 

[But seriously, don't worry. We are allies from now on. Well, technically I'd be your Boss, but let's not get hung up on the details.] 

"What is that supposed to mean?"

[Alright, this may be a bit hard to believe but when I talked to Aqua I also met some of her friends. More precisely there were IELOF and Lilly. Then we had fun and one thing led to another. They were looking for someone to head their alliance and they picked me. Then I offered them to join my sect and they accepted.] 

"So let me get this straight. You went to the god realm, talked to not one but three gods, and somehow became their leader?"