The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guys!

I can feel the entire cold water envelop me, akin to a living being coiling itself around me, then nothing. 

Before I know it, I'm somewhere else. I can sense the divine energy flowing everywhere, I'm back baby! Is it bad that I'm so joyful about it? Now that I think about it, couldn't I simply squat at some cool god's place? 

But seriously it feels as if all my cells are coming back to life all at once. It's probably just a placebo effect, to be honest. I mean, aren't cells supposed to be alive by default? 

I inspect my surroundings. Now, where is that Aqua goddess? Everywhere around there is water. I seem to be in some big cubic room with the walls and ceiling made of clear water. What about behind that? Well, it's dark and I can't see anything. 

This place is completely empty. Why is it that these gods are all fighting for power but when you check their décor it actually looks like they are fervent advocates of voluntary simplicity? Then again, I guess with the power to create anything they are not shackled by such concerns. 

Still, if I ever ascend to godhood, I'll have all my stuff cozily placed. At least a bed, a shower, a television, computer, consoles too, you know the usual. Ah, perhaps a dedicated barbecue fire pit! Wouldn't that be sweet? 

Anyway, what do I do now? There doesn't seem to be anything or anyone nearby. 

[Hello? Anyone alive? I come in peace!] 

There is only ever lonely silence to answer my query and…

*SPLASH* 

*Flop Flop* 

Out of the wall comes out a fish, like a torpedo! Yes, a fish. In fact, this thing seems to be a big tuna. Dark back and light grey sides, it used its aerodynamic body to completely crash at my feet, but why? Then it simply starts flopping around on the ground while looking at me. 

[Eh, are you okay, buddy?] 

"Yep."

[You can…so what's up? Are you fine?] 

"For sure. I'm just flailing around while obviously gasping for water because I feel like it."

[What's with the sarcasm?] 

"What sarcasm?"

[I can help you get back in the water if you want.] 

"I'm perfectly fine, can't you see? That's why I'm still flailing around, slowly using the movement to drag my weary body back to the water while slowly feeling my energy run out."

[How about I just throw you back in there?] 

"That'd be completely useless and needless you know. Can't you see from my body growing colder that everything is okay?"

[Not really, no.]

"Don't you have eyes?"

[Seeing as you've been making eye contact with me all this while. I'd say no?] 

"Makes perfect sense."

Should I help it/him? If he stops moving I will. I feel like a normal fish would have already been dying. Then after a long and arduous struggle, he finally reaches the water wall. 

[Alright, now that you are in safety in the water how about we...?] 

That's when I see him swim very fast once more. Then happens a familiar scene. 

*SPLASH* 

*Flop Flop* 

What the hell is this fish doing? Seriously?!

[What are you? A suicidal tuna?]

"How did you know about my nickname?! Ah, never mind you are that girl's guest, aren't you? She warned me about your arrival. I'm supposed to show you around or something."

She knew I was coming?! Could it be that my fall wasn't an accident at all? Did she call me here on purpose somehow? That would explain a lot. There is no way I'd normally be that clumsy! 

Now, I just hope she doesn't want to talk to me because of some obscure prophecy or something. I mean, why else would she suddenly want to meet me? I doubt she's already learned of me from her followers. 

[You don't seem pleased about it.] 

"Of course, I'm pleased! Why else would I be grumbling and trying my best to roll my eyes and grind my teeth?" 

[Out of happiness, am I right?] 

"Exactly! See, you do get it!" 

[Let me guess, you are throwing yourself out of the water to celebrate life?] 

"Obviously." 

[Alright, so where is Aqua?] 

"Eh, at the White Space. She's being a proper host by ditching every task on me."

[When will she be back?] 

"I'd say when she goddamn pleases o'clock."

[That's earlier than I expected.] 

"I know, right?" 

[So, what can I do while waiting for her?]

"I don't know. What can you do?"

[How about a tuna sandwich?] 

"I can actually make whatever you desire for appear. Honestly, why do I have to do this when you could do it yourself?"

[Oh? Whatever? I want a television.] 

"Whatever you want, just ask."

[A television.] 

"Whatever you want, just ask."

[You clearly aren't playing dumb because you don't know what it is.]

"Clearly not."

[Any way to show me a cool show happening anywhere else?] 

"Nope, I can just control water."

[Is that useful? What else can you do besides a shower?] 

"A waterbed or a stream or even a puddle."

[Guess I'll take a shower and relax.] 

"There you go." 

Suddenly water starts raining from the ceiling, right in the middle of the room. 

[How about giving me less privacy?] 

"Sure, whatever. Happy?" 

Walls made of troubled water appear, obscuring vision from the outside. I quickly undress and leave my clothes on the other side of the water and I …Cold! 

[Hey, can you maybe make it colder?] 

"Sure, on it. But why are you bothering about all that? Can't you just use your own powers to heat it up or something?"

I quickly enter it. It's hot, warm, and steamy... Just the perfect temperature too! Well, to be fair I do have divine energy protecting me from melting in the boiling water. 

[You won't believe me, but I encountered a talking tuna that claimed he could make anything I wish for appear. Weirdly enough, he seemed to even struggle with a hot shower. Ridiculous, am I right?] 

"Hey, it's not tuna! You should call me The Undefeatable Naval Advisor! This is my official title!"

[So…. T.U.N.A.?] 

"…."

I can't help but whistle as I relax under the hot water that seems to be falling from Heaven itself. 

*SPLASH* 

*Flop Flop* 

[…. Why is there some tuna in my shower?] 

"Please! I'm the one that created it in the first place! I'm just testing the temperature to make sure it's perfect for you!" 

On one hand, I'm really not used to taking showers with others. On the other hand, it's just some tuna, a really weird tuna. I just need to make sure I never tell this story in the vicinity of a rule 34 artist lest it becomes a lifelong shame. 

I simply take my time, enjoying the moment. The tuna comes flopping sometimes too. At some point, I think he gets bored because he keeps coming inside to ask me when I'm going to be done. 

That's when I exit the shower. Now, time to dry my body. Let's use that one Forgar's spell, shall we?...