The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guys!

****(POV)

As they parade me akin to a living ornament, I can hear the pointless conversations happening. 

"Young master Sun is so handsome! I'd love so much to dedicate myself to his service!"

"Please! We all know that's not the only thing you want to do for him!"

"Y-you! How dare you slander me! My intentions are pure! I simply want to dedicate my body and soul to the hopes of the Light Citadel!"

"Now, now girls. Stop arguing! Young master Sun doesn't need any distraction from the opposite sex. He needs peace and quiet to train. That is why I should be the one to serve him instead."

"Hey, why are you blushing! You are both men!"

"No comment..." 

*Sigh* It's always the same. I don't particularly hate these guys, but they do annoy me. They truly 'love' young master Sun. But that's the problem, I'm not him. Or more accurately this whole young master persona is one that has been forced upon me since my youth. It doesn't correspond to who I am at all. 

Hell, I don't even remember who I was before coming here. I only remember the harsh training. I'm not even sure if I have any family out there!

This 'Young master Sun' that they want me to be is a valiant hero that represents Hellios. His blessings are countless, he can use solar energy like no one else here, he is a defender of the innocent and the bane of evil. There is only one problem, however. 

The so-called evil is really anyone that opposes us: Evil sects, neutral sects, and righteous sects alike. This whole classification is ridiculous. It all stems from who is allied with who. Honestly, it could be remade into a different appellation: the honest people, the ones that have mood swings, and the shameless. 

Of course, I'm exaggerating, but that's how it seems to me. For instance, right now as my carriage passes on the paved street, I can see some of the so-called evil scum getting burned alive. 

Now, here is the issue. The victim is an assassin. One that has as a job to kill for money. This is the vilest thing one can do! It has been declared that no matter their identity every assassin should be killed. 

At first glance, there isn't any issue with that, right? It is normal for a righteous sect like us to clear scum like that! Well, we ourselves do have assassins. Ah, no. They are not 'assassins' but executioners. righteous ones that kill any of our enemies. 

But there is a big difference! They don't only kill for money! No, sometimes it is to cause political turmoil, to advance some of our agenda, sometimes for fun…but never for money- That'd be wrong! 

I dislike the hypocrisy. I just want to go far away and escape. Maybe live in a small village and become a farmer? Maybe plant some kind of vegetable that requires lots of sunlight to grow haha. 

Now, I know part of this is hypocritical of me. I did receive lots of resources and support from the sect. In my defense, I never asked nor wanted this. If I could, I would have left long ago. Well, before I only attributed these thoughts to silly dreams. 

You know the kind that is ridiculous and should simply be forgotten for everyone's good. It would have probably remained like that, but then I met him. He was so ridiculous himself that I couldn't help but laugh at how rigid I had been in my thinking. 

He is a tamer who fights instead of his creatures and who doesn't care about gods. He just wants to live peacefully and believes in self-determination.  Overall, he is plain crazy haha.

If he dares to live so crazily, why can't I do what I want too? Now I am heading back to the Light Citadel, but I have resolved myself. I am leaving this place soon! Just watch me! 

****

It's been 2 years. 

Usually, my duties are to train, to train, and to train some more! Ah, also sometimes to smile and wave! 

At first, I was planning an excuse to slip out and I had a plan to escape far away. But then came something unexpected. Eaglevein fell. That single event screwed everything up. Of course, they didn't want to allow me to go out at such a time. 

Now of course I would have been able to escape by force. The only issue was: how many would die in the process? Knowing my sect, they'd assume I had been brainwashed by some devil. They would restrain me at all costs without regard for the casualties. 

I may not want to be part of their plans, but I still am not heartless enough to kill them. At best I'll escape and that will be it. They did do their best to help me become stronger and taught me their beliefs. It's just that I don't agree with such beliefs in the first place!

Now, how did I even start thinking there was an issue with this? Well, long ago I had a servant. He used to be an outsider, but after many years of loyal service, he managed to make his way to me. 

At first, he only told me stories to distract me from the harsh training. Now, there was something peculiar about his stories. They were very different from the ones I had heard before. He didn't speak of good and evil. Instead, he spoke of life itself. 

I know he hated to a core the sect master of the Light Citadel. I know he disliked the sect too. But he never spoke ill of them either. I simply realized it through subtle hints over time.

Listening to him I realized that there may have been more to existence than I had first believed. The world wasn't such a simple place anymore. Before I truly didn't care about the outside world, but these stories made me curious. 

One day he drank. He wasn't supposed to, nor did he mean to. The servants had been forced to drink because of an over-eager superior. Weirdly enough, this man who had passed the sect's loyalty check easily just couldn't handle his alcohol. 

He told me many things. He told me that he knew my mother, that I had her deep blue eyes, he told me that he had waited a long time to see me. He was very emotional. I understood then that there probably some family link between us, but I couldn't be sure. 

The next day he was gone. What happened to him? I still have no clue, but with him went my attachment to this sect. 

Anyway, I have been training all this time.  But now, I think I may just have an opportunity to escape, if I play my cards right that is.….