The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guys!

****(POV) 

I am wishing goodbye to the fallen somberly. 

"A moment of silence for all our lost companions. May they rest in peace. They may have fallen but they were valiant and courageous, they-"

"Were true woodcutters!" 

What's up with him? Can't we do a normal eulogy at all?! Ah, I guess it doesn't matter. Still, I'm pleasantly surprised. I didn't expect to survive at all. We somehow managed to fight off and annihilate the bandits. 

I wasn't expecting my companions to show such prowess! Then again, they did manage to get rid of an entire forest before I could even notice, even if it was a small one it remains a feat.

What renders me speechless is the clash between the strength of their attacks and how clumsy their general movements are. 

I guess it is to be expected if they only trained on trees. These are pretty bad at evading usually. I can't help but think that so many could have been saved had they been trained at least a little bit. It is too late for the dead but...

One of my companions exclaims. 

"Alright, shall we get moving?" 

"Wait!" I look at each of them. "I feel like you guys should train a bit before we resume our journey!"

"Train? We are always training!" 

"*Sigh* I mean bettering your movements and…"

"For what? We don't need such a pointless skill!" 

Pointless?! Pointless! Say that to the dead! No, I should keep my calm. I need to somehow convince them to….Wait I know. I'll invent a crazy and ridiculous lie, but one that I think they will believe. 

"In some disaster zones, there are living moving trees. Do you guys really think you'd stand a chance? Are you simply going to give up that easily? I expected better of you guys!" 

I can hear gasps of surprise. They all share a look showing it is the first time they are hearing about such a thing. I mean, of course, it's fiction…

"Really?!" X13 

"Of course! Why would I lie about that?" 

Why? Obviously to try and make them stronger! Not only will it avoid ridiculous deaths, but it will also increase my own safety. After all, we are in this together. Well, I could always leave but it wouldn't particularly make my life easier. 

"What should we do?! There is no way we'll let these moving woody bastards win!" 

They all nod in agreement. What did trees ever do to them? Actually, I'm not sure I want to know. I feel like it will a dumb explanation anyway. 

"Alright, I'll teach you guys the basics of movement. It is extremely simple. We will play a simple game. We won't use any weapons. I will try to touch your vitals and you guys will try to evade it!"

"There is an issue with that…we need our axe! A woodcutter never leaves his trusty axe behind!" (*Others agreeing*)

Why would they need an axe to… never mind! *Sigh* I'm starting to reconsider my decision to train them. The good thing is that they are so simple that I'm pretty sure they won't betray me. 

"Alright, whatever. You guys can keep the axe but aren't allowed to attack or block. The only thing you should do is evade! Understood?" 

"YES!"

I face one of them. Then starts our 'fight'. 

*Vitals touch instantly* 

Okay, this is bad. We keep going. But no matter what, he shows no improvement at all. This is weird. That's when another suggests:

"Brother, you need to think of her as a tree attacking you."

"Oh! I see!"

How is that supposed to help? Why would it be easier to visualize a moving tree than a real opponent actually in front of you?! But then his aura suddenly changes again. It goes from normal to sharp once more!

I dive toward him! This time around, his movements are way better! Yep, there is something wrong with these guys' brains. Terribly wrong! We keep training for a while. I can still easily defeat him, but at least now it requires some effort. That is when I start training the others. 

Not long afterward, we take a break. That is when one of them comes closer. 

"I think I know a way to increase the pace of training…" 

"Yes, how?!" 

"We need a forest."

"How would that even help?!"

But the others in the back are all nodding. Something about how they'll feel more at ease in one. This is so much bullshit coming from guys that literally just razed one! Do forests put you at ease or do you hate them?! Pick one! 

Ah, whatever. We depart once more. I just hope we don't encounter anything troublesome. It seems our luck is good for once. We walk for a few days before more greenery appears before us. 

That is when they all start cheering. They look like kids getting their first dagger. Well, when I got mine I was outwardly calm, but internally I was screaming in joy. I still regret losing that dagger, it accompanied me on my first kills after all. 

They excitedly run toward the trees and ready their axes…

"Wait! Wait up you guys! What about the movement training! If you cut it all now we'll have to find another forest! No way in Hell!" 

"Ah!" They look embarrassed. "Sorry, force of habit." *Awkwardly rubbing their head* 

"Alright, should we start and …" 

I'm about to train with them, but then something very peculiar happens. They each pick a tree and face it. Then I see them start to frantically dodge all over the place. They look crazy! Ah, no. They are crazy! 

They are visualizing the trees attacking them somehow. At first, their movements are a bit awkward, but the more time passes and the more it becomes…plain crazy! 

Some are leaning to avoid, some are sidestepping, some are dashing short distances, some are rolling, one is using his axe to rotate himself …I even see backflips?! What is happening to them?! Somehow the woodcutters are looking like a troop of mad acrobats! 

As an assassin I am pretty agile and flexible…but not like that! Ah, actually it's even worse! They are not flexible at all! I can hear their body giving worrying cracks as they accomplish the diverse movements! 

Yet, no matter what, they remain in that insanely-focused state! At first, I'm questioning life itself, but then I slowly get numb to it. 

At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if one of them starts flying. It would have happened with one training to catch flying trees or something. 

In such a manner I take a nap. Then many more naps. Soon a month passes. They have pretty much been training non-stop all this time! This is madness! Part of me is annoyed, but part of me cannot wait to see how this will turn out!

Am I seeing the rise of Super Woodcutting Assassins of Unavoidable Doom?! Just as I'm wondering about this, a heartfelt cry of anger is heard. 

Then I feel a heavy mana surge coming our way! An enemy?!