The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guys!

I kill and I slaughter and I decimate. 

I don't even have the time to figure out what's happening. I'm just doing my best. Killing as many as possible. All until finally, everything stops moving. There is no angry cockroach jumping at me anymore. 

What about my friends? It's a massacre. A complete and total massacre. Their bodies lie everywhere on the battlefield. Twisted in unimaginable positions. Their abdomens and heads are perforated. The casualties are immense. 

I was too slow. Their corpses stranded everywhere is the proof. I did my best, but it wasn't enough. I'm a failure of a protector. My power is great but unsuited for such a task. What is the point of invincibility if you are the only one with it? To slowly and surely see all your companions fall? 

To be the one left behind? To remain with that weight, that sadness? Is such power a curse or a blessing? Even I have realized it. Ever since obtaining divine energy, I have been even more easygoing than before. But it's moments like these that abruptly bring me back down to earth. 

(╥_╥)

My vision is getting blurry, tears falling on the corpses of my companions. Corpses that are easy to identify. Not only are they smaller but theirs are mostly intact. Unlike the enemies that I tore apart. That's when I see movement. What is that? Digging out of the corpses some friendlies start appearing. A few of them seemingly survived! Not many. Most are dead for sure. 

Quick! I rush up to each, using divine energy to heal their wounds. It cannot bring back the dead, but I can heal the wounded. After going across the entire battlefield I do a casualty report. It is heavy. Out of the thousand not even a hundred survived. 

This is totally my fault. If only I had trained them better, if only I was faster, if only…That is when one of them comes nearby. It wants a headpat. As I'm petting it, I notice its mood somehow. It's not angry, or even sad? 

My cockroach friend is…celebrating?! How?! I look at all of them around me carefully. Instead of being down, they are happy. Raising their small front legs in triumph. Why? We almost got wiped out! 

Ah, that's what it is. We almost all died, but some survived. That is what they are rejoicing about. Instead of looking at the heavy stench of death they simply look at the light of life. Seeing that one cockroach I'm petting, more approach seemingly jealous. Before long I'm just dispensing headpats. 

I can't help but smile midst the tears. None are blaming me. If I had to translate it they would be saying:" It is a shame, but thanks to you we are alive. Thank you!"

Perhaps I'm just going crazy. We don't even speak the same language but somehow, I can feel this as clear as day, even in this weird realm with the constant dim purple glow. Somehow, I get the feeling Gran would have probably reacted the same. 

Celebrating the survivors rather than sticking to the casualties. I can't help but picture how the troupe would have fared acting as insects. Rollin would have had a blast for sure. I slowly wipe my eyes and cheeks followed by the concerned gaze of my companions. 

Then I slowly do a cheering motion. That's when they start losing their shit. I don't know how else to explain it. Some are clapping, some are making weird happy noises, some are even doing backflips haha. 

*More happy cockroach noises*

＼(~o~)／

It's too early to despair. No, I have something better to do. This time I will teach them properly. No matter how long it takes. No matter what. 

Now, how does one teach language to cockroaches? No, I simply have to transmit the meaning well. That will suffice. For now, I need to be able to share basic commands. Let's start with Flee, Group up, and Disperse for now. As long as I manage to get them to do that it should be easier to protect them. 

Against a single enemy dispersing is the best bet. Against an army either running as fast as possible or adopting a defensive formation. Now usually that would be the worst thing to do. Simply defending at one spot, you get encircled and defeated soon enough except if you have some sort of terrain advantage. But the goal is simply to buy time. Until I can deal with the danger at least. 

Once they are able to survive then I can slowly switch to attack. I'd like to teach them basic offensive formations so they can take care of stragglers without ever incurring injury. Instead of going one after another and possibly suffering casualties if they can somehow coordinate…

So I start teaching. Honestly, I feel like a primary teacher right now. Ah, except that my job is actually easier. You know since cockroaches are actually well behaved. The biggest problem I have is that I have no way to practice with a live enemy. 

I definitely don't want to start running around and risk encountering another pack. I'm sure right now they'd all charge in still and get themselves killed. This reminds me of the hardest of escort missions in RPGs. 

What I do is I use an enemy cockroach's corpse to create a dummy. I fill it with the hard rocky ground. Let's just say it is not convincing at all and looks extremely grotesque to boot. But hey, gotta deal with available means. 

That's when I use some illusion magic on it to give it a real appearance of…. oh fuck! They instantly charge at it and start reducing it to pieces. Some even destroying part of their mandibles on the hard surface! Damnit! I quickly cancel it and go by their side to heal them. 

But I may just be unto something here. So here is what I do. I practice my illusion magic. At some point, I am able to simulate one enemy roach perfectly. Well, at least, I think. My companions can't exactly tell me what they are seeing. 

Still, from the way they act, I think I've nailed it. So much that I don't need any physical support anymore. I can do a mirage directly. Any lapse of focus destroys it entirely, however. 

ψ( ` ∇ ´ )ψ

Anyway, now that I have this new ability, I can step to the next level! No matter how long it takes I'll keep going! Just watch me!