The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guys!

"Welcome to the City in the Mountain!"

[So…do you have more beer?] 

In front of me is a muscular dwarf with a short beard. It kinda doesn't conform to my expectation but still better than none.

He swims to the edge of the hot spring and grabs a beverage from who knows where. Wait…is that rock moveable? Wow. 

He comes back swimming next to me. Handing me possibly the best thing I've ever gotten ever here. I savor it and it reminds me of professional micro-breweries. The kind that people would do a few years detour to taste. 

I'd like to describe how amazing it is but I was never that much of a connoisseur. Still, it's heavenly! Then there is the hot spring! How long has it even been since I've been able to soak in hot water? 

The old wizard is huddling far away. Running from the steam. 

[This feels nice.] 

"I know, right?! So what brings you here exactly." 

[You know about that village, right? Well, the barrier there is breaking as we speak. So I need an item to repair it.] 

"WHAT?! You mean the one that keeps the Abyss Devourers at bay?! This is serious!"

He shows fear for a second but calms down. 

[Right, so I'll wait here while you go grab it?] 

"Impossible." 

[Why?] 

"Do you know about our political system here?"

[Clearly not.] 

"So the power is shared between three main clans: iron hammer, iron anvil, and iron furnace."

[So let me get this straight, you guys are all named iron, but your products are called dwarven-steel?] 

"Hahahaha. Let's just say humans love to give grandiose names to things we consider normal. Anyway, steel is just an alloy made of iron so it's not wrong either. We never settle for simply thoughtlessly forging."

[Makes sense. So I'll need permission from all clans, is that right? How can I meet them?] 

"Well, I'm Iron Hammer so there is that. But the issue is not that. That is the usual situation. Right now there is no one to lead us."

[How come?] 

"Every god war there is a competition happening between us. This will determine who gets chosen as the champion."

[Right, why are some gods choosing champions in their followers and others are summoning people from other worlds?] 

"A question of preference really. Summoning takes more power. It also gives stronger champions, but they aren't always loyal. It's up to the god to convince them."

[So you guys are in the process of determining who will be the next champion to lead the dwarves in the war? Meanwhile, there is no one to take decisions?] 

"Exactly, but we won't participate in the war at all. We'll simply remain here."

[Right, that's what the annoying sign was saying…] 

"Wait…this tunnel above…don't tell me it leads all the way to the surface?!" 

[Yep.] 

He seems to take the news badly. He's not angry, more like he seems to be having a headache. 

"*Sigh* This will take so long to fill. But we are supposed to be having other defenses in place how did you guys?"

The old mage takes this chance to chime in. "Acid! Tons of acid! Hahahahahaha!"

Now Iron Hammer is facepalming…

[So what's the plan? We need to accomplish our mission!] 

"Don't worry, you are in luck the competition for that begins tomorrow."

Oh my god! Am I developing a main protagonist aura?! You know when all events seem to revolve around you?

Just when I enter the village, they start having problems with their barriers. Then, as soon as I arrive here, they are ready for the plot to progress. 

Hopefully not. That kind of aura brings disaster all the time! 

"Alright, follow me I'll be your host. There is something I'm wondering. How did you know about the hot spring here? This is honestly a scary level of knowledge about us."

[What do you mean?] 

"You removed all your clothes in order to…"

"Hahahahahahaha! He's been naked all this time! It is not related to your city at all!"

[That's because of you and your dumb acid!] 

"It may be true but it's still funny!" 

The guy calls for a servant. A nervous dwarf comes running. He's talking really fast offering many services to his lord. Seriously who offers to do a foot massage to another man with such enthusiasm?! That guy!

When the servant sees us he freezes, rubs his eyes, then starts screaming. 

"We are under attack! There are greedy humans invading and... -"

"Shut up dumbass. These are my guests. Now, go get someone to repair that. *pointing*"

He gets even more shocked, but he nevertheless runs away. Iron Hammer guides us all the way to a medium-size dwelling. One that is carved out of the rock and seemingly mixed with metals. 

It is well designed and gives a subtle vibe of opulence. The kind that one cannot hate. There are various engravings, and the walls have relief. The whole place is a work of art! 

All of it seems to be related to forging, fighting, or partying somehow. Let's just say It's a culture I can almost get behind. 

"Honey I'm home!"

Comes running a small and cute woman, no beard. Big eyes and a bright smile. She's actually pretty even according to human beauty standards. 

She doesn't seem disturbed about our presence. She simply invites us to eat. Getting out more food from the wall directly. 

This is gotta be the most awesome fridge ever. In the wall there is a dragon head, you can slide it out to reveal its body with storage space in it. 

Kinda crazy how I've known modern technology and I've never seen something that cool. Then again, I guess there maybe was a billionaire that did something similar, but I never knew. Such a story wouldn't be as popular and widespread as that one guy dressing up as a bat to fight crime. 

We eat in harmony. The dishes are a mix of extremely spicy red glowing mushrooms that grow in lava and some kind of chewy but delicious meat. The woman explains that the meat comes from magma lizards. It's usually very dry but she let it soak for a long time in beer. 

Needless to say, the combination of the spice, meat, and beer aftertaste is godlike. I'll have to try that myself. Perhaps with poison for personal consumption? 

The old mage has trouble eating this, his face becoming red instantly with the first bite. Funny, defeated by food haha. 

Apparently, magma lizards are humongous and able to swim in magma. It takes an army of rank 3 dwarves all equipped with extremely strong weapons to beat one. 

[Damn that sounds awesome! I'd like to see one!] 

"Hehe, you will. Soon enough. Alright, time to sleep. Tomorrow will be huge!"

This is like having VIP tickets to a very select underground show. I can't wait!