The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guys!

After the guy with the net, now what is it?

Are these guys…

What are they doing here?! 

In front of me stand a bunch of bakers. 

Are they suicidal?!

"He's the one! Beat him up!" 

Then I can see a few musclemen show up. 

Then they rush at me. 

That is when comes that one friendly baker out of nowhere. 

He grabs onto the leg of one of the opponents. 

Trying his best to slow him down without success. 

"Run my love! Run!" 

Wow. 

[Seriously, what are you all doing?] 

They come nearby and start hitting me. 

Yeah, about that…

If that was a game there would be a bunch of "Immune!" prompts right about now. 

They look at each other sharing a look that can only read as "We fucked up brothers."

[I'll give you two choices. Either I kill all of you guys or you beat up these dumbasses real good.] 

I point at the bakers. 

I've never seen someone so motivated to give another a beating. 

In the background, I can hear some weak.  "We paid you!?!" 

The muscle guys just answer that they got paid to beat a weakling. 

That is exactly what they are doing right now. 

Well, can't argue with that one. 

That is when pops out a lot of soldiers. 

Ones that seem to be wearing a weird uniform.

This seems to be a private military. 

"Kill that man!"

I'd say they are enemies. 

[Who are you guys in the first place?!] 

"You dare say that after leading astray our young master!!!" 

[Please, he actually has the talent to be an appraiser!] 

"You bastard! How many people did you corrupt with your lies! I'm talking about OUR young master!"

[You probably have the wrong guy!] 

Then they charge with clear killing intent.

I'm totally sure I'm innocent on that one.

Fucking pieces of shit!

I quickly beat some up, but there are more and more showing up. 

Two new groups with different armors now. 

"We'll make you pay for killing our heirs!!!"

[Wait, aren't you that guy from the marriage? I didn't kill anyone! I just fell in the wedding!] 

"As if we'd believe you! Monster!"

Melodramatic much. 

He's seriously lying right now. 

Turning an accidental disturbance into a murder. 

Ah, I did slap him. 

I mean who cares about that?! 

I quickly evade them. 

I'm trying to reach the city gates but it's kinda hard. 

There are people coming at me from all sides. 

Until finally after a long chase, I get cornered into an alley. 

They are all slowly approaching me. 

All adorning a sadistic smile. 

They all seem to think I deserve death for some reason. 

"You have nowhere to run now! Face justice!"

I could simply run through a building as I did back then. 

But I also have a cooler alternative. 

[Justice my ass!] 

It's parkour time bitches! 

I climb the wall extremely fast. 

Before long I'm on the roofs running once more. 

From my vantage point, I can see an army amassing toward the city exits. 

A literal army. 

They seem really motivated to keep me in the city. 

Funny how the anti-crime system hasn't been activating all this while. 

I think it's broken. 

Well, I have simply been running. 

But what about the dead guards? 

Meh, I don't know. 

That is when I finally see a friendly face. 

It's an associate from the cartwheel trading guild! 

[Hey man! How is it going?]

I casually drop next to him. 

"Who are you?"

[Just the guy that helped your guild get the Mana Blessing.] 

I am kinda bragging a bit but so what. 

I didn't even stay to claim the credit on that one.

I probably missed one hell of a party. 

I already feel regret over all the free delicacies and awesome drinks. 

"Y-you're the one that made us buy it?!" 

[Don't worry, no need to be that grateful. Right, any idea how I could escape this place?]

"Y-you …." 

He seems to be shaking. 

Should I sign him an autograph?

"YOU BASTARD!" 

What?! 

That is when he charges at me. 

Drawing a dagger from who knows where.

Then he starts stabbing me. 

Of course, it can't even breach my skin. 

But what the fuck?!

Ah, I think I understand. 

There was probably some rivalry between merchants. 

Let me guess whoever succeeded, he was their enemy.

Maybe they even fired him because of it. 

[Look man, cheer up. As long as there is life there is hope.]

"As long as you live there will only be despair!" 

Wow. 

Just wow. 

He's almost making it sound as if I was a bad guy. 

That is when I see my pursuers catching up. 

Time to go.

The man simply falls on the ground crying. 

Some people here are really weird not gonna lie. 

"Kill that evil!" 

The way I see it these guys are the evil ones. 

They are chasing the friendly alchemist.

One that brings joy to the world. 

Well, pleasure would be more accurate. 

"Stop running!"

[Stop chasing!] 

"You need to die for the peace of this city!"

[Bullshit! You guys are the ones screwing up everything!]

Please, all I've been doing is bake and concoct. 

That is when I pass an alley and hear a slight.

"I'm cheering for you, good luck!" 

Hey, that was the kid from the …

AH, I guess he doesn't want to be seen with me. 

Thoughts and prayers, eh? Useless much!

Wait, there is an easy way for me to fix this. 

I run to the church of Gluto! 

Then I turn around. 

[Don't come any closer, you bastards!]

"Or what?!"

[HAHAHAHA Or I'll awaken the beast! Look where we are!]

They see the Gluto church. 

I see some become panicked.

Sadly most of them seem to be ignorant. 

They don't care and simply attack. 

Fuck these guys! 

That is when he finally exits his place. 

Nomzilla in all his glory! 

"Brother! Did you bring tasty food?!" 

[Nope, lost the bakery a while back you know!] 

"Are these assholes troubling you?!"

[Yep, any way to fuck them up without facing retribution?]

"I can think of a few ways. Like this one."

He simply walks to some of them and starts slipping them inside his fat folds. 

This gotta feel really bad. 

There are screams of terror and disgust. 

All become quiet once they are inside, however. 

Hey at least it's gotta be warm and …

No, they'll definitely need therapy for years to come. 

Most of them are still fine. 

"Sorry brother, that is as many as I can take care of."

He gives me an apologetic smile.

At least, I think. 

Can't see his face at all. 

[No worries, see you later!] 

Then I keep running. 

Chased by the lucky soldiers that didn't get caught. 

That is when I finally come across a literal legion. 

Now what?