The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guys!

****(POV) 

Today I have many errands to do.

First thing first I visit my associate. 

A man that sells medicine in a small desolate shop in the city. 

His products are renowned to be mostly ineffective, but cheap. 

Actually, he is one of the purveyors of poison for our assassin's guild. 

In the back of the shop, I displace a hollow statue revealing a hole underneath. 

Before long appears before my eyes a man working in a dark room. 

Handling diverse tubes expertly. I greet him. 

"Hey there. I will need a refill."

"Didn't I already give you lots last week? Surely you haven't used it all!"

"*Sigh* Actually, I did."

"Wow. Just wow. How many did you kill?!" 

"None. None at all. Someone used it as seasoning."

"What do you mean as seasonings?! Are you taking me for an idiot?!" 

"Nope, he's asked me to procure him some more spices as he called them."

My interlocutor can't help but stop his movements.

Then he repeats spice soullessly. 

This must be a huge blow to the man that keeps repeating he can poison anyone in the city.

In fact, there is a lot he can do just a lot he doesn't dare to. 

"Actually, two people ate it." 

"None of them died?!"

"Nope, one is a simple baker the other is that follower of Gluto."

He sighs in relief. 

"Yeah, the second one is understandable. The first one all I can tell you is that your information is inaccurate about him being simple. For all we know, they both worship that god."

"He is slim."

"Perhaps he isn't human in the first place."

This could actually be it. 

I buy some more poison and head out. 

From now on this man won't be targeted by our association. There are too many unknowns.

Maybe he is actually weak, but chances are he hides a dangerous secret.

Some would get greedy about it, but not me. 

I have realized over the years that many men die for treasure.

Now for my next meeting. I am meeting one of the most influential sects in the city. 

One that excels in the control of elemental magic. Somehow all their members have various elemental affinities. 

As I arrive at the main building under their control, I get ushered to a small meeting room. 

There their leader starts talking about one of their disciples. One that is a genius that somehow decided to give it all up. 

All for the sake of brewing. The worst being he doesn't even have any talent in it. 

They want me to find the man who made him have this silly idea and kidnap him. 

Then he needs to convince their disciple to come back on the right path. 

What's with all the jobs lately?! None are about straight-up killing. 

I agree to try for now and we settle on a payment. 

I reach the establishment where I can find him.

There is a fish on the sign. 

As soon as I enter, I realize how bad the business is going. I interrogate the bartender after waking him up. 

He starts describing the target…all until I finally give it up. 

It is that damn baker! How are two large factions both hunting for this guy?!

The slavers and now this client! 

This makes no sense.

Does he have the talent to put himself into troublesome situations?! 

I send a message to my client canceling the job all together before heading to my next meeting. 

This time I am meeting two very small families. 

Both marrying their heirs together. 

They warmly welcome me. 

Then they start talking about a scoundrel that ruined the marriage ceremony.

They ask me to murder the guy. 

Finally! A simple murder job!

I'll simply use some poison and…

Then they describe him. 

Fuck me. 

It's that fucking guy again! 

I deny them to their utmost confusion and leave once more.

This time I am about to meet the respectable Untainted sect. 

I can't help but wonder why they are even calling for my services. 

It can't be for that little stunt that guy pulled right? 

No way, he only made them lose face a bit. 

Plus they know clearly his relation to city hall. 

Their enemy must be truly evil. 

Their leader starts telling me about how a man corrupted one of their members. 

Making her lose all her powers in the process. 

He needs to pay for it. 

He wants his head. 

I'm about to agree, but then he tells me that his target is that guy. 

This is madness! 

When did he even do that?!

Fuck it I'm out! 

I have one more meeting. 

Actually, I could have very well just ignored the last one but may as well. 

Not that I'm busy now. 

I go meet a nervous man in a tavern. 

He did me a favor once, so I decided to at least hear him out. 

Then he starts asking me to kill a man. 

An appraiser. 

At this point, I do not care, as long as it's not a baker we can proceed. 

Ridiculous how this is now my first criteria to assess the risks. 

He says something about him resorting to banditry and making him lose his job. 

This guy is a good target. 

One I'll likely be able to dispatch without anyone minding. 

That is the hardest part of assassination. 

Not the during, but the after. 

The hardest part is to stay off the wanted list. 

Then he keeps describing the target. 

Then he ends by telling me where he is hiding and…

Motherfucker! 

Stop fucking asking me to kill the same guy over and over! 

I don't have a death wish! 

I don't even say anything. 

I just leave straight up. 

This is ridiculous. 

How the hell does a baker have more enemies than any of the evil sects?! 

Literally, sects that everyone in the world hates.

Even themselves! 

Yet all he does all day is stay hidden in his fucking kitchen! 

How is he pissing off so many people!

That is when an informant of mine comes in to give me a message. 

Apparently, many artisans are trying to get a competitor killed. 

I'm about to agree, but then I ask for more info. 

As soon as I hear that they are bakers I tell him to kick each of them for me. 

To make it as painful as possible.

To tell them that I won't do a suicide mission for them!

He seems baffled. 

But I repeat and specifically ask him to beat them up. 

All of them. 

Give me a freaking break! 

*Sigh* I feel like now would be a good time to retire.

I get the feeling he will destroy the city whole if this keeps up. 

There is no way that is possible logically. 

Still, I give it a few months at best. 

This place is fucked.