The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guys!

Our meeting went well. 

He asked a few questions and I answered to the best of my abilities. 

I left saying I would be at the bakery. 

I feel like some sort of hidden character right now. 

Should I set up a special password? 

You know most customers would be ordering normal pies. 

Whenever someone asks for a mystery pie then it would be for an appraisal job.

I would usher them in my secret base too. 

Or I could simply call it the storage closet, but it wouldn't sound as professional.

Then I would act like an expert and see right through whatever they are bringing me. 

I feel like I would need glasses just so I can raise them in a cool motion.

Today has been a productive day. 

Lots of income on the side. 

I've also learned some new information. 

Now I just need to go back home to…

Actually no, there is something I want to do. 

Let me see. 

Who should I ask? 

I'm really not sure. 

I want to find someone but I'm not sure about the best way to go about it. 

Ah, wait. 

There are some people I recognize. 

The thieves from the totally not slums area!

They seem to be happily going about their business.

[Hey guys, how has it been?] 

They turn toward me, surprised to hear someone holler at them.

I quickly rush forward. 

I may as well ask them for help. 

Since I'm familiar with them. 

*Bump*

*Thud* 

I collide with a random guy. 

"Watch where you are going, you bastard!"

[Sorry about that.] 

Quick apology now to go see my acquaintances. 

Wait, what?

They are gone. 

Why? 

They clearly saw me wave at them.

"That bastard stole my purse! Quick catch him!" 

One really has to be brazen to steal here haha. 

Could this be the doing of…?

"Yes! That one! The one playing innocent! The one that just bumped into me!" 

Wait…

I turn my head he's totally pointing at me.

He's running toward me. 

What the hell?! 

Ah! I know what this is. 

He is trying to discredit me. 

Why would anyone ever want to tarnish my reputation?!

Wait, no. 

This is too obvious. 

He collided with me voluntarily. 

Making a big show out of it. 

He will probably try to blackmail me. 

Ask for money in exchange for clearing my bad name. 

If I do, he'll say he made a mistake.

That it was in his other pocket or something. 

Otherwise, he'll probably keep spouting his nonsense. 

There is one way to deal with scammers like him. 

You beat them up real good. 

Except that right here it is a bad idea. 

Especially with the anti-crime system and all. 

Fuck it I'm not gonna stay here to guess it. 

[Wolfie, we run!] 

What is he going to do, keep chasing me? 

Such an asshole too. 

Let's see who's going to relent first haha. 

After a few minutes of chase, I figure out he is not only a crook but also a persistent one. 

At this point, we are in a more deserted area. 

I turn toward him. 

[Are you done?!] 

"No way I hell! Give me back my purse!" 

[Dude there is no one even here. There is no point in you making a ruckus.] 

"Give me my damn purse or I'll get the city enforcement involved!"

[Please, you think that will scare me?! *Scoff*] 

"See how they deal with you!"

[It will be your word against mine.] 

"They will simply search you and find it!" 

[Please, how about I tell them you stole my coins then?!]

"As if they would believe such a lie!"

[Screw you! Wolfie will corroborate my story! Two against one!]

"A wolf?! A freaking wolf?! You think they will believe a stray wolf!"

[Wolfie is not any wolf! She is smart and brave!] 

"How is hanging around a thief any brave!" 

[Wolfie is the best! Shut the hell up!] 

"It's a disgusting creature that follows a crook! It should be put down!" 

[You are lucky this is a safe zone, or I'd beat you up for slandering her!] 

"Agree to a duel agreement then you bastard! I hereby agree to fight unharmed and fairly in a non-lethal intended brawl, may the system be my witness!" 

Wait! Oh my god! 

That works?! 

Why has no one ever told me about that?! 

[I agree, I fucking agree!] 

Nothing happens but hopefully, all is good now. 

Then I rush at him! 

Starts a legendary fight.

He hits me with many technical moves.

One after the other.

Every move flowing nicely. 

All targeted at the best areas to inflict pain. 

That fucker! 

I cleverly take every blow head-on. 

Then I start striking back. 

Wolfie calmly watching pleased by the side. 

*PUNCH*

[This one is for insulting Wolfie!] 

"*Ouch*!" 

[This one is also for insulting Wolfie!¸

"Stop it!"

[This one is for insulting Wolfie too!] 

"I concede I concede!"

[This last one is also for insulting Wolfie!] 

Before long he is beaten up real good. 

"How?! Why?! What's with that bullshit reason!" 

[Bullshit! Apologize to her now or we'll keep going!] 

"I'm sorry ...eh, Wolfie."

[Do it like you mean it!]

"Please forgive me Wolfie!" 

[Good. Now reflect on your actions.]

"That…"

[Repeat after me.]

"…"

[I won't try to scam people in the future.] 

"…"

[Should we fight some more?] 

He seems to be tearing up a bit. 

"* Begrudgingly* I won't try to scam people in the future."

[I won't voluntarily bump into people.] 

"I won't voluntarily bump into people." 

[I won't lie and try to exploit good-natured people.]

"*Lowly* What kind of good-natured beats people up and..."

[What did you say?] 

"N-nothing."

[Also don't try and blackmail people on false accusations in the future.]

"What false accusations?! I am really missing my wallet how do you explain this, you bastard?!"

[…If you lost it, why are you here instead of looking for it?] 

"Cause you stole it!"

[Except I didn't…]

"You clearly did!" 

[Nope.] 

"HAHAHAHA, you want to play this game?"

He gets something out of his pocket. 

"I have here a one-time use truth-seeking bell do you dare to…?!"

I simply pick it up. 

[I didn't steal from you. You just kept chasing me trying to scam me.] 

After that one sentence, the small bell crumbles to ashes. 

"It didn't detect any falsehood…how?!" 

[Cause I didn't lie, dumbass.] 

I turn around to leave. 

"Then why did you run?!"

[Cause you kept chasing me like a mad dog.] 

"What about my bell?! That thing is expensive!" 

[Not my problem.] 

"…"

[Also, never ever insult Wolfe again.] 

"…"

[Otherwise, even the city's system won't be able to save you.]

I leave behind a mess of a man, but I don't care. 

Now, where should I go?