The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guys!
Chapter 265: Getting Furniture
I'm a goddamn genius.
Today we sold everything in record time!
First thanks to the charm of our attendant.
She has the grace of a noble lady for sure.
Long-term I'll have to get a replacement, however.
Right now it's fine.
They are letting her work here for the previous offense.
But later on, let's face it they'll start asking for things.
I wouldn't make much of a reliable elder.
Especially if there is a fight.
Could you picture me telling them to hold the enemy in place?
I'd be like just give me a minute to charge my ultimate attack.
No legit I don't need that long, but still.
Anyway, the second factor to our success is my great idea.
The promotional event.
They enjoyed it so much most of them even bought more than one.
Thanks to that I've gotten a great idea.
I will get some tables and chairs to set up near the door.
This way people will be able to eat right here.
Not that many.
I still want this to remain a bakery.
Just enough to add that simple and classy look.
So here is the plan.
Time to head back to that slave trader place!
I remember they had nice-looking ones.
Should I just stroll in there boldly, grab one and get out?
That would be hilarious, wouldn't it?
Actually, I have another idea.
[Hey kid! Ah, nice job on the door by the way!]
"Hmm, is it really fine? I mean where did you even steal this door?"
[Don't worry they won't miss it. Plus now that it's painted over no one will be able to tell. Isn't that great?!]
"I…. guess?"
[Yes, it is. Well, know any shop where one can custom order tables…oh and chairs!]
"I do know a good one! I've heard of the old lady there before!"
[Perfect! Onward my loyal companion! Adventure awaits!]
"I mean we are just going to buy furniture…"
[You don't want to know what I went through to get that door…]
He looks both extremely curious and worried.
I open the door wide and step outside.
Wolfie stays behind for some reason.
After an arduous and long journey…
Naw, we very soon reach our destination.
Somehow, this shop is in a very bad location.
[Is this some kind of hidden shop with a hidden expert?]
"Haha, no way. But the old lady in there is renowned for her skills."
[Can she speed build a table or is the final product a work of art?]
"The second haha, there is no way an old lady could work that fast."
[Guess that's true.]
"Here it is."
*Knock knock*
"Old lady we'd like to buy furniture!"
"Go away I'm too busy to entertain you guys!"
[Hey, that voice sounds way too young? Didn't you say there was a grandma living here?]
He looks at me surprised.
"Fine, you actually seem like a nice kid. Come in!"
My companion is giving me a thumbs up.
The thing is I wasn't trying to kiss ass.
I mean it.
She could be working at a hot-line and people would call all day.
Even if you include the picture of a raisin-looking old lady.
That's how great her voice sounds.
We enter and before us appears.
Oh my god.
Do you believe in fate?
There are some things that are predestined in life.
I was really disappointed recently by the lack of a cat-girl slave recently.
Well, this right here entirely makes up for it.
Silently sitting on a wooden chair is…
An elf!
Blond hair.
Blue eyes.
Delicate features.
Long ears.
Elegant and dignified.
This is officially the first fantasy race I have ever seen since coming here.
No, oversized animals don't count.
This is awesome!
"Welcome to my humble abode what …. why are you smiling like that?!"
[Hehe, because I'm happy don't worry about it.]
She raises her eyebrows.
"You are happy to see an old lady or at the prospect of my craft?"
[Both. Both is good. I'm hoping for the end result to be as beautiful as you.]
"Fufufu. It has been long since I heard such sincere praise!"
That's weird.
Ah, is it that?
Don't tell me people here discriminate because of her race?
Only reason that could explain this.
Other ladies ostracizing her for her beauty is understandable.
But she should be pretty popular with the men.
[How come?]
"Not everyone shares your broad-mindedness is all."
The kid comes closer to me, whispering.
"Brother, your strike zone is really large eh…"
Ah, is it only that?
They are disgusted because she is old?
The way I see it these guys are dumb as fuck.
Aren't elves supposed to live a long time?
She is the independent beauty type.
Like seriously, she could become a model.
Does that job even exist here?
"Anyway, what do you want to be made? Young man?"
It kinda feels weird being called that by someone that looks my age.
[I need tables and chairs for my bakery for customers to eat!]
"That's it?"
[Exactly!]
"Nothing else?!"
[Yep!]
"You came to me for just that?! Regular ones?!"
[Yep, you should be able to do it right?]
"Are you kidding me?! Rich merchants fight each other for the chance to even glance at my craft! Here you are asking for something as banal as that?!"
Wow, I didn't know she was a bigshot.
Still, there is something I dislike about that whole narrative.
[Please, what is the point of creating woodwork if people can't even touch it. Isn't it useless?!]
"HOW DARE YOU!"
[*Sigh* Let's leave. I'm sure we'll find someone that understands the heart of the common people.]
The kid looks unsure.
"T-that, we are leaving just like that?"
"Hurry up and get out of my place! You are not welcome here anymore!"
[Well, you heard her. Time to go.]
Now I think I can understand why people don't tell her that she's beautiful.
She's way too intimidating.
Not in a good way.
He reluctantly follows.
[*Sigh* I was expecting to see an elf at work too…]
*WOOSH*
She dashes and before I know it there is a dagger at my neck.
"You, what did you just say?!"
Today we sold everything in record time!
First thanks to the charm of our attendant.
She has the grace of a noble lady for sure.
Long-term I'll have to get a replacement, however.
Right now it's fine.
They are letting her work here for the previous offense.
But later on, let's face it they'll start asking for things.
I wouldn't make much of a reliable elder.
Especially if there is a fight.
Could you picture me telling them to hold the enemy in place?
I'd be like just give me a minute to charge my ultimate attack.
No legit I don't need that long, but still.
Anyway, the second factor to our success is my great idea.
The promotional event.
They enjoyed it so much most of them even bought more than one.
Thanks to that I've gotten a great idea.
I will get some tables and chairs to set up near the door.
This way people will be able to eat right here.
Not that many.
I still want this to remain a bakery.
Just enough to add that simple and classy look.
So here is the plan.
Time to head back to that slave trader place!
I remember they had nice-looking ones.
Should I just stroll in there boldly, grab one and get out?
That would be hilarious, wouldn't it?
Actually, I have another idea.
[Hey kid! Ah, nice job on the door by the way!]
"Hmm, is it really fine? I mean where did you even steal this door?"
[Don't worry they won't miss it. Plus now that it's painted over no one will be able to tell. Isn't that great?!]
"I…. guess?"
[Yes, it is. Well, know any shop where one can custom order tables…oh and chairs!]
"I do know a good one! I've heard of the old lady there before!"
[Perfect! Onward my loyal companion! Adventure awaits!]
"I mean we are just going to buy furniture…"
[You don't want to know what I went through to get that door…]
He looks both extremely curious and worried.
I open the door wide and step outside.
Wolfie stays behind for some reason.
After an arduous and long journey…
Naw, we very soon reach our destination.
Somehow, this shop is in a very bad location.
[Is this some kind of hidden shop with a hidden expert?]
"Haha, no way. But the old lady in there is renowned for her skills."
[Can she speed build a table or is the final product a work of art?]
"The second haha, there is no way an old lady could work that fast."
[Guess that's true.]
"Here it is."
*Knock knock*
"Old lady we'd like to buy furniture!"
"Go away I'm too busy to entertain you guys!"
[Hey, that voice sounds way too young? Didn't you say there was a grandma living here?]
He looks at me surprised.
"Fine, you actually seem like a nice kid. Come in!"
My companion is giving me a thumbs up.
The thing is I wasn't trying to kiss ass.
I mean it.
She could be working at a hot-line and people would call all day.
Even if you include the picture of a raisin-looking old lady.
That's how great her voice sounds.
We enter and before us appears.
Oh my god.
Do you believe in fate?
There are some things that are predestined in life.
I was really disappointed recently by the lack of a cat-girl slave recently.
Well, this right here entirely makes up for it.
Silently sitting on a wooden chair is…
An elf!
Blond hair.
Blue eyes.
Delicate features.
Long ears.
Elegant and dignified.
This is officially the first fantasy race I have ever seen since coming here.
No, oversized animals don't count.
This is awesome!
"Welcome to my humble abode what …. why are you smiling like that?!"
[Hehe, because I'm happy don't worry about it.]
She raises her eyebrows.
"You are happy to see an old lady or at the prospect of my craft?"
[Both. Both is good. I'm hoping for the end result to be as beautiful as you.]
"Fufufu. It has been long since I heard such sincere praise!"
That's weird.
Ah, is it that?
Don't tell me people here discriminate because of her race?
Only reason that could explain this.
Other ladies ostracizing her for her beauty is understandable.
But she should be pretty popular with the men.
[How come?]
"Not everyone shares your broad-mindedness is all."
The kid comes closer to me, whispering.
"Brother, your strike zone is really large eh…"
Ah, is it only that?
They are disgusted because she is old?
The way I see it these guys are dumb as fuck.
Aren't elves supposed to live a long time?
She is the independent beauty type.
Like seriously, she could become a model.
Does that job even exist here?
"Anyway, what do you want to be made? Young man?"
It kinda feels weird being called that by someone that looks my age.
[I need tables and chairs for my bakery for customers to eat!]
"That's it?"
[Exactly!]
"Nothing else?!"
[Yep!]
"You came to me for just that?! Regular ones?!"
[Yep, you should be able to do it right?]
"Are you kidding me?! Rich merchants fight each other for the chance to even glance at my craft! Here you are asking for something as banal as that?!"
Wow, I didn't know she was a bigshot.
Still, there is something I dislike about that whole narrative.
[Please, what is the point of creating woodwork if people can't even touch it. Isn't it useless?!]
"HOW DARE YOU!"
[*Sigh* Let's leave. I'm sure we'll find someone that understands the heart of the common people.]
The kid looks unsure.
"T-that, we are leaving just like that?"
"Hurry up and get out of my place! You are not welcome here anymore!"
[Well, you heard her. Time to go.]
Now I think I can understand why people don't tell her that she's beautiful.
She's way too intimidating.
Not in a good way.
He reluctantly follows.
[*Sigh* I was expecting to see an elf at work too…]
*WOOSH*
She dashes and before I know it there is a dagger at my neck.
"You, what did you just say?!"
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