The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guys!

Take two. 

Scene: Getting a job. 

Main actor: An extremely handsome guy. 

Supporting actor: A cute and small white wolf trailing behind. 

Background: A medium-sized bakery that has decent traffic of customers. 

Time of filming: Right about now because no one has time to wait anymore. 

3, 2, 1…Action! 

I'm sure this time around it will go better. 

I mean considering the last one I got turned down instantly…

The only way it could be worse is if I get attacked with a knife or something. 

There is my target. 

A man talking with a customer. 

He glances at me. 

"I'll be with you shortly."

[Actually, I'm here to apply for a job. Take all the time you need with the customers!] 

Polite tone, check. 

Smile, check. 

Now I'm patiently waiting on the side. 

Making sure I don't disturb the business. 

After a while, he has a few minutes to allocate me. 

Still, I see an incoming customer on his way, so I summarize it shortly. 

That I have trained for months and that I can be a valuable asset to his bakery. 

That is technically true. 

All I ever did was barbecue or pie, but I've done it for a while. 

This is the best tactic I know for an interview. 

You want to say something true that sounds impressive. 

This way they can't really be mad even if they misunderstand. 

If anything they will admire your marketing skills. 

He then goes back to tending to customers. 

He hasn't driven me away.

This is obviously an improvement.

This shows he is somewhat interested in my candidature. 

I guess that means he is a wise man. 

Unlike that other guy from before. 

Both of them actually operate on the same street. 

I can already picture myself becoming a star cook. 

The kind that gives a foodgasm to every customer.

The kind that people will think is drugging the food. 

My creations will be that amazing. 

Of course, it will all be legit. 

Then our bakery will become extremely popular. 

So popular it will eclipse all the others. 

Then will come to visit that one arrogant owner. 

He will notice me. 

Notice how awesome I am. 

Then he will regret. 

But as they say, there is no medicine for regret. 

He will try to poach me, but the wise owner here won't let me go. 

He will offer a better salary. 

A salary so high it will impress the richest of tycoons. 

Then it will be the beginning of my legacy. 

With the money I will make, I will open my own bakery. 

One that will sell nothing but pie. 

I will hire my old patron as a worker. 

Together we will share how great pies are with the world. 

Slowly building a pie empire. 

Then it will become part of the culture. 

Pies will be said to be worth more than gold. 

At the very least these pies of ours. 

Then we will expand. 

Going from one branch in the diplomatic city to countless.

We will be everywhere.

We will become a power in itself. 

Then using that influence we will unite the continent. 

Once that is done, we will unite the world. 

Only once that goal is reached will we stop. 

For this the Dao of the pies. 

One that is truly worth …

"Hey! Are you alive!?"

What? 

All the customers are gone. 

It is only I and the owner that remain. 

[Sorry, was lost in my thoughts for a second.] 

"All good, you did wait for a long time."

Ah, it is already getting dark outside. 

[How should we proceed?]

"Simple, just cook something and I will watch you work."

Sounds simple enough. 

Most of the time simple is best. 

I get started. 

I do all the steps to bake a pie. 

From the first to the last. 

Anyone that doesn't know how should look it up. 

Find your nearest bakery and kneel until they teach you. 

I make sure to cook it just the right amount of time. 

It turns out crispy and delicious looking.

I'm going to state the obvious, but I am proud of my creation. 

The owner looks at me. 

"Brother, we don't even sell pies here."

[And that is why you should hire me.] 

He looks at me at a loss for words. 

"What about bread? How proficient are you in it?"

I scoop a part of the pie. 

Delicately using a spoon. 

[Here, just taste this.]

I slowly bring it to his lips. 

Ever so slowly part them gently. 

Then I insert it inside. 

He gobbles it up. 

[So, how is it?]

I can see him smile shyly. 

"Quite good I must admit."

He likes it very much. 

I can see him licking the tip. 

Driving his tongue all over the length. 

Taking it all in. 

I take the spoon and…

I give him seconds.

His mouth is now completely filled. 

He closes his eyes in bliss. 

He tries to say something. 

I stop him and tell him to just enjoy the moment. 

He nods and tastes it all. 

I keep carefully feeding him. 

Giving him all of my love. 

After all my cooking is full of it. 

That is the secret for any artisan. 

You want to pour your heart into it. 

Soon enough all of it is deep inside him. 

All inside his stomach. 

He took it all in, surprisingly. 

All of the pie. 

He was really hungry…

Or my pie is just that good. 

I want to believe it's the latter. 

[So, do I have the job?]

I wink at him. 

After seeing how much he enjoyed it this seems a done deal. 

"Of course! You can stay in this place forever!" 

[Nice, when do I start?] 

"How about right now?" 

[Oh I see. It is getting late, are we cooking the batch for tomorrow? Wait, shouldn't we do that in the morning? You know to keep it fresh?] 

"Forget the cooking. You just have to share my bed. I have been looking for so long for a kindred soul!" 

Wait, what?!

"You clearly are one to enjoy foreplay involving food. I knew I couldn't be the only one! The way you kept gently feeding me was awesome. I don't even care if you are a man, we can…"

[Wait! I just want to bake! I don't swing that way!]

He starts crying. 

"Ah, I understand. Then you may leave." 

[What about the job?!] 

"Sorry, but there is no way I can work alongside you and restrain myself. If you wish to stay it will be for…"

[Alright! I'm out! Never mind!] 

Fuck! I was so very close! 

Being handsome is a curse I tell you …

Now, where am I supposed to spend the night?!