The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guys!

Thieves…

How can one proudly declare that? 

[Wait, what about the whole anti-crime system?] 

"There are many ways to bypass it you know."

[Like?] 

He gives me a mischievous smile. 

"Well, when you bump into someone you can apologize and ask him if he won't blame you for it. The it in such a sentence can mean stealing all his gold."

[How smart! I mean how devious!] 

"Of course. There are also many other tricks you know."

I need to listen to that. 

Who knows if someone won't try that stuff on me? 

"You can help someone carry some of their stuff. When they give you permission to help you can also subtly start carrying their pouch. Of course, you just happen to forget to give it back at the end."

This place is kinda scary. 

[Anything else?] 

"Well there are other tricks but a rule of thumb is to refrain from agreeing with other people in such a place." 

I nod solemnly. 

"Right, why did you help us? Not that we needed the help, but still. Also, what's with the wolf?" 

[Just felt like it. She's my loyal partner. Been with me since forever.] 

"Wow, how many years?!" 

[Few months?] 

"I see. You are a newcomer in this city, aren't you?"

[It is that obvious eh.]

"Indeed. Have any place to stay? I know a good one. Not that expensive and the food is great."

Thus we depart. 

He had me at good food. 

They bring me to what looks like an inn. 

Or is it a tavern? 

I never really knew the difference between both. 

At least they allow pets. 

As we enter, I notice one thing. 

Finally, there is some harmony.

The town is built whimsically. 

At least everything here fits. 

The few employees are all wearing the same uniform too. 

We sit at a remote table. 

Then comes the food. 

They offer many options. 

Many exotic-sounding dishes. 

So I do what I usually do. 

I pick one at random. 

After living in the wild one can't be picky anymore. 

Turns out the exotic stuff I ordered is just meat and vegetables. 

I'm not even mad. 

I guess that's marketing in a nutshell.

Given a cool name to normal stuff.

We eat our fill and then we begin drinking. 

This is life. 

Sharing a beer with friends. 

They tell me many stories. 

From random gossip to their life experiences. 

Most of them are actually sons of middle-class families. 

They started their group on a whim. 

On a random dare from one of them. 

One was betting he could bypass the security of the town. 

He did. 

The polite young man's idea. 

Many times. 

Still doing it to this day. 

I'm really not sure how to feel about that.

They steal, but from the rich. 

Don't take excessively either. 

It seems they love the thrill of it. 

Bunch of kleptomaniac guys. 

I do check often that my purse is still there. 

They tell me to stop. 

Something about making me a target. 

How it only shows potential thieves what to aim for.

This is a dilemma for sure.

I shouldn't do it. 

I also can't help myself. 

How am I supposed to make sure my funds are safe otherwise? 

I ask them if there is a bank of some sort. 

Apparently, there is one, but not for the common populace. 

It is more of an elite thing. 

Kinda weird. 

They are missing on a whole market right there. 

They seem to mostly only store cash directly. 

Not much investment is done. 

I guess it's because no one knows what the future will be like?

If sects start fighting for real it may end up badly. 

Then there will be many alliances for sure. 

I ask them about that. 

Apparently historically this city is a no man's land. 

Staying true to its calling. 

Headed by the god of diplomacy. 

This is awesome. 

I could legit spend the rest of my life here. 

Will I, however? 

Who knows? 

There is one thing for sure. 

I want to live. 

If it looks dangerous, I'll be out. 

I also know that the future is never certain. 

For instance, betrayals are part of human nature. 

No alliance is truly unshakeable. 

We drink and we drink. 

So much they all leave the table one after the other.

They will come back lighter soon. 

I am left with a cute waitress asking me if I want to keep drinking. 

Why not. 

She offers me a selection of beverages. 

I'm confused as usual. 

My companions all away. 

I simply tell her that I'll go with whatever she recommends. 

She asks me a few times to confirm. 

At worst I'll find whatever she brings me DISGUSTING. 

No big deal. 

She nods excitedly. 

She seems oddly cheerful. 

Do people usually ignore her advice or something? 

She comes back happily bringing a golden cup. 

What's with the overly fancy cup? 

My companions come back. 

"Oh no! Why did you order that?!" 

Ah? What? 

[Is there anything wrong with this drink?] 

The polite young man looks at me, then at the cheering waitress. 

"You let her decide your drink?"

[Yes, does it taste horrible or something?] 

"If only it was that simple. Ordering this means you are paying for everyone's drink." 

[What the hell?! What about my money?!] 

"I'm afraid you just gave it all up." 

What's with this tavern?! 

Why the hell is there an option for that?! 

[Hey! I never signed up for that! I still need to get a place to sleep tonight!] 

She comes nearby smiling. 

"Sorry Sir but there are no refunds offered. Now please hand over the money."

[How much is that even?] 

"All of it."

This doesn't make sense. 

"*Sigh* This is a custom here. When you order that thing, it is a huge commitment. No matter what you aren't allowed to leave with any wealth whatsoever. This thing is also in accordance with the town's system too." 

[Wait, so you are saying if I keep money, I'll be deemed a criminal?!]

"Yep, it's that dumb and bad." 

[What can I even do now?!] 

"Well…drink as much as you can. You know since you are paying for that stuff."

Fuck me. 

This city is devious! 

This is fine I'll get my revenge just watch me!