The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guys!

****(POV)

The dark room is very fitting to my current mood.

My last task accomplished.

There seem to have been a few hiccups, but the guild is safe.

The wolf shouldn't blame us.

Not that it changes anything in my life.

I lost my only path to greatness.

I can already feel myself changing.

Thinking about the many ways I could survive.

All of them involving shady ways.

But I am done with that.

Done for real.

The current me is useless.

Me disappearing would be for the best.

Definitely.

I review my preparations one last time.

Rope check.

Hangman's noose check.

Unstable chair check.

Supportive beam check.

This will get rid of it all.

The dark thoughts.

The emptiness.

The despair.

The stress.

Existence itself is a pain.

We come into this world without a purpose.

As a bunch of lowly beings.

We struggle and struggle.

But for what?

To try and better ourselves?

There is no changing our dirty nature.

I thought I could, but nope.

As soon as I lost power, I started reverting back.

But I'll stop the process before it's too late.

Forcefully and irreversibly.

I pass the rope around my neck.

Then I give a kick.

I can feel myself falling.

Ah, it seems I fucked up.

The drop not enough to break my spine in one go.

Doesn't matter.

I can feel the coarse material digging into my skin.

Tightening.

I can't breathe.

Just a little more.

Then it will be all over and…

I hear the sound of a door.

*SLASH*

*THUD*

I subconsciously take a huge breath of fresh air.

There goes my plan.

Who interrupted me?

It's that asshole.

"Ice, why are you here? Taunting me one last time? Feel free!"

"That's not why I'm here."

"Hurry up and go away then! I'm busy!"

"Busy dying? What would that accomplish?"

"Accomplish? It won't accomplish anything. I myself won't accomplish anything no matter what! Now leave!"

He is meddlesome to the very end it seems.

Can't he just accept his win?

From now on he'll be the strongest tamer in this branch.

Well, if we exclude that freak.

The one that has a pet able to dispatch a rank 4 with a wave of its paw.

"I can't have you die just now you see."

"Please. Give me one good reason to live, you emotionless bastard! Revenge? I don't care about that. This only happened because I am weak!"

He chuckles a bit.

The kind that will chill the soul.

One void of any emotion.

"It is exactly because this is who I am that I managed to understand some things. You and I might just be more similar than you've thought. The only difference being you totally got mind broken by your own pet."

"Bullshit, it was obeying all my orders to the letter and …"

"Was it your orders? Or the orders it wanted you to give? To be fair you were but a kid at the time. You not going insane in the first place is quite impressive. Only to have your personality influenced."

"What the hell are you…!"

"Remember. Remember your first meeting with that creature you called your pet."

He does something and comes a flash of light.

****

Dark.

What is this?

Where am I?

I can't see anything.

There is this feeling of oppressiveness.

Suffocation.

Encroaching upon my being.

Then appears a light.

Mesmerizing.

Radiant.

The only hope in this place.

An eye.

Looking arrogantly at me.

The only salvation here.

It talks.

Greeting me.

"Hello, little one."

I feel it, this is a holy being.

One of great power.

One I should obey for sure.

An egg appears in the dark space.

The one I scammed from my friend.

The eye points toward it.

It urges me to do a soul contract.

A special one.

That truly fuses both souls.

That will give me more power it says.

Way more power.

I am weak.

I am useless.

But I won't be.

I just need to give up control.

I do just that.

Accept it fully into me.

The eye is watching pleased.

The process is going well.

Until finally it ends.

I can see my body.

I am not in control anymore.

The being laughs pleased.

Saying how powerful I will become.

How I will soar to the heavens.

Transform into a true dragon.

Slaughter endlessly.

Until enough blood is spilled.

Enough to bring him back.

The being.

The all-powerful one.

I can feel a sense of discomfort.

My thoughts are muddled.

As if I am but a spectator.

Yet I feel something is wrong.

I try talking, screaming, and howling.

Somehow speech is an issue.

But I keep at it.

Until finally I manage to convey something.

Convey my doubts.

Won't I end up losing my humanity?

I want to be powerful.

I want to rule over others.

But I want to be the strongest human.

Not the strongest monster.

Otherwise, that would be pointless.

The being looks at me.

Then smirks.

How does an eye smirk?

That's what he does.

Tells me how much of a fool I am.

Tells me that I will forever be his slave.

Tells me that the man I was is gone.

Only a monster will remain.

I will become stronger.

I will impress everyone.

I will become a legend.

Known for being ruthless.

That's not what I want.

At all.

I will not accept this.

He laughs telling me it's too late.

That our souls are already fused.

That struggling would only cause my demise.

That I should just behave.

That I should just watch.

The being is celebrating his victory.

I start thrashing around.

Struggling.

It simply watches laughing.

Well, at the beginning.

"You fool! Stop! You'll doom your soul if you keep going!"

I can feel the panic in his voice.

He tells me that I will die.

Haha, so what?

I will die a worthless human.

Better than to live a monster.

I can feel my very essence getting torn to shreds.

I can feel my very being dissipating.

Then I wake up.

Confused and in sweat.

But somehow resolute in my quest for power.

Already forgetting the dream I just had.

Except it was no dream.

****

I open my eyes.

Ice is overlooking me.

"Remembered?"

I nod. How did he know?

"Don't sweat it. Something similar happened to me. Except I was older. I knew more at the time."

I understand.

"Thanks."

I remove the rope from my neck.

I have a lot of thinking to do.

Then I take a step toward the outside.

"When will you be back star tamer?"

"*Sigh* I'm not sure if I will. But from now on I'm just an insignificant tamer."

"But a tamer nonetheless am I right?"

Yes, a tamer.

That is what I am.

Thus, I leave the tamer's guild.