The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guys!

****(POV)

This job of mine is the best.

I may only be a subordinate to the free diplomatic city of Eaglevein, but life is good.

The true powers reside there.

Meanwhile, we, the surrounding cities are all smaller ones.

Our tasks are mostly to help with taking care of all the paperwork.

For instance, we help merchants apply for trade permits.

We would also cooperate with the tamer guild to determine the able and lawful tamers.

We need to reduce the hassle our superiors deal with.

That is our sole goal and duty really.

It is both a very important job and a thankless one.

Long ago, I would carefully analyze every report and try to show initiative.

I would try to improve the situation and think of new ideas to improve the overall system.

That was when I was young and naïve.

I thought that I would be able to use the fact that no sect is admitted here to have free reign.

Well, there is the shrine of the diplomatic god as in every of their affiliated city.

But I was wrong about having a real decisive power.

After all, it is Eaglevein that ends up taking all the important decisions.

We simply follow suit.

As much as I dislike it, this whole thing is a power struggle shitshow.

The only reason it is even accepted as a capital in the continent is that it welcomes people from everywhere.

Also hosts more churches than anywhere else.

Every big power has a building there.

That is why our existence is necessary.

We prevent some of the dangerous elements to reach it.

We are nothing more than glorified watchdogs.

Still, there are definite perks to it.

I have complete power over this small territory.

Well as long as I don't steer from the established guidelines.

This means that I actually have the power to delegate haha.

Why work seriously when you can be playing around?

This is something that took me a long time to realize.

You gotta enjoy life.

So what if there are some complaints?

As long as it doesn't go above a certain threshold it's fine.

Gotta make sure no fire starts but that's about it.

If a few pots get broken it's fine.

At worst, some people will complain.

Today is a good day.

After a short day of work, I can finally relax.

I have invited two young beauties to privately dance for me.

The kind of dance that is intimate.

The kind that gets the blood boiling.

The kind that tends to be so heated.

The kind that mixes well with wine.

The kind where pieces of clothing slowly fall.

The kind of dance that indubitably ends with heavy exercise.

You know that kind of dance.

The seduction.

The teasing.

The slight biting.

The passion.

The moist breath on my ear.

The sweat glistering on the bodies.

The…

"My lord there is an ancient captain that says that has an urgent message for you!"

"Can't you see I'm busy!"

What a fool.

The naked beauties in my arms should be indication enough.

"T-that my lord, he is claiming to have critical information that threatens the safety of this very city!"

How annoying!

"Fine, did you advise him that he would be punished for a false report?"

"Of course my lord!"

I signal the ladies to wait for me.

I'll meet him in my office.

It is opulent enough to impress.

Still, it is a place I truly abhor.

The less time I spend here the better.

In it is a man waiting for me, sitting.

What is this?

When he said ancient captain I was picturing some old man.

This one looks too young.

Why did he leave active duty?

"Why isn't he a captain again?"

"My lord he was removed from his functions for mishandling a slime cleaning task."

Are you kidding me?!

This guy failed a job so simple!

How?!

A child armed with a stick could successfully complete it.

"Why didn't you chase him out then? He's obviously incompetent!"

"*Whisper* Sir, he a relative at Eaglevein. While he isn't anyone important, I believe we should follow protocol and hear him out at the very least. Then we can drive him away."

I see.

This is why.

If he tattles this could be troublesome.

The fact that he knows someone there means eliminating him could be risky too.

There are many ways to investigate using magic.

Well, time to work.

"Well, hello young man. What brings you here today? Would you like some tea or anything to eat?"

"My lord I have cause to believe that there are powers lurking in the shadow trying to undermine Eaglevein."

"Is that so? What evidence do you have? I will definitely take this new information into account!"

"There have been eyewitnesses of a shady individual going around bringing up the topic of slimes and I believe people are feeding slimes in the sewers."

"Slimes is it? What would be the purpose of all this?"

"My lord I believe they are trying to artificially create king slimes. I have already encountered one! This could cause a lot of problems to the city. While the guards would be busy, they would then strike!"

Wow. Simply amazing.

This is the next level of craziness.

Not only did he fail to kill slimes, but now he's inventing all this story to try and absolve himself.

This guy is not only stupid but extremely delusional.

Does he think I will simply believe him and give him his captain job back?

As if I would believe that there are king slimes in the damn sewers.

What else?

Maybe there are unicorns in our libraries?!

Beast kings casually walking in our midst?!

Perhaps vampires lurking in the shadows?!

Gods among us mortals even?!

All of this is so damn ridiculous!

Still, I need to remain professional.

No matter how crazy the guy is.

"Thank you! I will send a team to scout and give me a detailed report! Escort our guest outside and give him a few silvers as thanks for the information! Now if you'll excuse me."

I promptly get back to my comfy bed where the two fairies are awaiting my heroic return.

Coquettishly one asks:

"My lord, what was it?"

"Haha, nothing but a fool. Now, where were we?"

So what if the other guy complains.

I followed protocol and made sure it was nothing serious.

What is the worst that could happen?