The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guys!

Well, this is awkward a bit.

What is one supposed to do when one accidentally confesses to murder, arson, and thievery …while being chased for tax evasion?

Should I add the usual asking for a friend?

On a scale of fucked to very very fucked, how fucked am I?

Do I have no choice but to silence them?

Maybe I should simply run away and leave this city behind?

I'm not even sure I'm going to be able to get a taming license anyway.

There is no real reason for me to stay.

I guess there is little Bai, but I have no way to know how long he'll be unconscious.

What about Wolfie and the unicorn?

This is weird how long they have been gone.

I guess that if I wander around the vicinity of the town long enough they'll find me.

I need some way to contact them.

I need a projector that I would light up at night aimed toward the sky.

I would call it the Pie-signal.

Then again, I'm not sure I want to be called the Pie-Man.

Sounds like some badass porno actor name.

To come back to the situation at hand…

Come, back, hand…hehe.

Yeah, let's not go on a murderous rampage here.

I'm not going to let them cuff me, however.

After all with how handsome I am, I would be way too popular in prison.

Actually, do they even have prisons here?

Could be mining camps like the slaves back at the Moon Keep or even execution.

Weird how I haven't encountered slaves so far…

Whatever time to …

"Wait…did you say you defeated the Black Corpses?!"

[That…no, of course not!]

"I totally heard that too!"

"What about all the other stuff?!"

"You got rid of these guys?!"

[That you see….]

"That's amazing!"

[Is it?]

"Hell yes! They are annoying! Just not annoying enough to warrant the city to do anything about them."

[I see.]

"Captain, can't we just let him go free?"

"No exception! The law is the law!"

Talk about a stern leader.

I thought they were corrupt but it's the contrary.

These guys were just doing their job!?

Usually, the bad guys would be paying the city officials.

In turn, the guards would be corrupt too.

There would be lots of propaganda to confound the population.

Meanwhile, I would get tangled up in a web of schemes.

Only because of defeating some bad guys.

Then I would kill some guards while fleeing.

This would in turn antagonize the part of the city that is not corrupt at all.

I would obviously fight back and many lives would be lost.

All this bloodshed would convince one of the hidden guardians to go after me.

Now there would be two options.

Either an old monster or an old monster that looks hot as fuck.

You know some hidden genius that ascended early and still is well preserved.

I would run away thanks to some plot hole, I mean coincidence.

Then would begin a whole revenge arc.

I would train until I could come back and wipe the city out.

Sprinkle a few useless deaths in there to add drama and that's about it.

All of this would have happened from me clearing a few thugs.

When I say clear a few thugs, do read feed them to slimes.

Or so that was the scenario I was picturing.

Now I can avoid all of the above if I can somehow convince that one stubborn guard.

"H-hey why are you looking at me like that?"

I absentmindedly answer.

[Nothing just thinking of ways to deal with you.]

"Guys he just said he wants to dispose of me!"

"So, captain?"

"How about we just go back?"

Why are they freaking out now?

[I didn't mean it like that. Look I'm gonna give it to you straight… ]

Then I proceed to enumerate every single point listed above.

The more I keep going the more fidgety he gets.

Meanwhile, the others nearby are getting extremely impressed by my foretelling.

By others, I mean both the guards and the woodcutters.

Ain't this great?!

At the end of my speech, their leader can't sit still.

He goes a few meters away and starts mumbling to himself.

[What is he even doing?]

"Well, he's not a bad guy, but he's a bit too much by the book and dumb at times."

Did he just call his boss dumb?

Then again, he's way too busy to hear him it seems haha.

"He's probably trying to figure out if it is worth disobeying his duty to possibly save the entire city."

[Wait..so you are telling me he's really thinking about risking his life and his city for a city gate tax I wasn't even supposed to pay in the first place?]

"I mean technically if you ain't wearing the laborer outfit you're supposed to pay."

[Isn't this your job to ask for the payment?!]

"Wait…no one asked you for payment?"

[Nope!]

"Wow…just wow. Talk about dumb. Meh, stuff happens."

How can this guy be so casual about this?!

They have been chasing me for so long already!

I promised death and destruction if we were to fight!

His superior is pondering if he should apprehend me.

Meanwhile, this guy is just here chilling!

There is something wrong with this situation!

I look at their group.

[What are you guys going to do if your leader insists on a fight?]

They look at each other.

"Restrain him."

"Beat him up."

"Knock him unconscious."

"Kill him."

What the hell! What kind of subordinates are these guys?!

How did that one guy survive so long?!

Ah, he's coming back too.

[Have you made your decision?]

"I have pondered long and hard! After lengthy self-deliberations, I have concluded that you are definitively guilty!

However, since this is your first offense as far as I know and that I do not wish for needlessly bloodshed I will let you get away with a fine only!

Be grateful for the chance you have!"

I just want to tell him that he's the one that got saved by his own decision.

Like seriously.

Well, good for him.

"However! I will have you account for the crimes you listed against the black corpses! Do not resist for resistance is utile!"

*Sigh* He was so close.

He just had to mess it up.

What will happen to him now?