The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guys!

This is going to be fun.

Or not.

It could escalate very easily.

But! I have a plan B, C, and D!

The B and C are to beg for help.

The D being the best if you know what I mean ????.

That last one is to run as fast as possible haha.

Is it too naïve of me?

I don't think so.

As long as I don't offend some real power, everything should be fine.

The city itself is part of some neutral faction, so they won't lift a hand.

I go back ready to face tons of thugs.

The entrance is deserted.

This is strange, to say the least.

They should have already received reports about me.

Normally they would already be swarming me.

This means that they are probably preparing a trap!

But I have a secret weapon!

Scouting-no-Jutsu activate!

Apparently, there are a lot of them in the main hall.

Didn't I describe this as a medium-sized house?

Yes, I was mistaken.

It seems like they merged many houses to create a territory.

Aka the houses are the walls.

Inside is a pretty big area.

In the middle of it is my target.

As I get there, stand many guys eyeing me.

This is ridiculous.

How are there no women here?

This is discrimination!

Women too can be evil.

On an ornated chair sits the one who seems to be their leader.

He gazes at me.

"You are finally here. You truly are brave, aren't you?"

I mean not especially.

What am I even supposed to reply to that?

"Do you know how many of your enemies remain alive?"

He's about to say zero isn't he?

"There are Z…"

[At least one.]

He seems mad that I interrupted him.

"Soon you will join their rank. Now answer me who sent you? Was it dark eye Darius? Was it lazy eye Gilbert? Was it…?"

What the hell are all these nicknames?!

What next?

Cotton eye J0e?

We could do some back and forth for a while.

However, it wouldn't change the end result that we'll be fighting after all.

There is only one thing to do now.

I get busy.

Somehow my actions surprise him a lot.

"Y-you! Why are you getting naked?!"

He is pointing at me, mouth opened.

The answer is obvious.

I'm tired of losing my clothes every damn time.

Either it gets destroyed, melted, or burned.

Not this time!

As it all falls to the ground, I can feel myself being free.

Free to rush at them too.

I grab 2 underlings and make my escape.

On the way, a flurry of fists and various weapons fall on my back.

Yet I just keep running not bothered by it at all.

All until I get out of and get near the sewers.

For some reason, they have stopped following me.

It is almost as if they don't want to cause too much a ruckus.

Weird.

I promptly unload them into the slime pit.

So far this is really going well.

Oh crap, I just realized something.

In the heat of the moment, I forgot something important.

Oh well.

I go back up.

Intrude in their lair once again.

They are screaming at me and charging.

I just grab two random goons and leave again.

Except that this time I make sure to pick up any coin they may have before throwing them in.

Being wasteful is not good after all.

In such a way I keep repeating this.

Getting hit, but not caring in the least.

At first, they are really angry.

Then they start begging for me to leave them alone.

The more trips I do the fewer guys they have.

No, not because I'm thinning their numbers.

Well yes, but actually no.

Many ran away already.

I kinda understand them.

I try and grab their leader but he's a rank 3.

He manages to evade me and runs away.

Until finally they are all gone from their own property.

This finished pretty nicely.

How many happy meals did the slimes get?

Many.

I'm sure if they could talk, they would thank me or something.

Actually, probably not.

I did kill a lot of their brethren in the beginning.

Now that the coast is clear, comes the best part.

Looting!

Remember kids, waste is bad.

If you get rid of some bad guys you need to properly get everything you can out of it.

It is not even a matter of greed.

No, in fact, it is a matter of work ethic! Also justice!

By making sure to diminish their possessions you are reducing their power to commit evil.

This in turn protects the world you know.

Well, kinda.

After a full sweep of the place, I sadly figure out that they did get the valuables already.

Still, I manage to get myself some clothes, a well-made leather armor, a sword, and some coins.

Pouches to carry said coins too.

Total loot being a few gold coins.

That should last me a while.

That's when my gaze lands on an oil lamp.

This gives me a great idea.

Would really be a shame if….

I slap it on the ground.

You know, as a cat would do.

Then I watch with glee as the fire starts burning….and gets extinguished.

Okay, that was disappointing.

However, I am not one to give up.

I look around until I have more lamps and lots of oil.

Then I carefully make a bonfire with the surrounding furniture.

Time to try again.

*sound of flames engulfing everything*

Now that's more like it.

I leave walking slowly.

Behind me their main hall on fire.

I make my way out nonchalantly as the inferno rages.

I can feel the heat radiating behind.

But I do not turn back.

Nope.

As we all know…

Cool guys don't look at explosions.

Well, I'm pretty sure it's the same for arsonists.

Actually…no. I'm pretty sure most stay to watch their handiwork.

Not, me.

I have slimes to attend to.

Can't wait to see if there is any progress.