The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guys!

There seems to be something wrong with the guard's mental state. Who can blame him?

Not me. While I do have divine energy to protect my body he has none of that. Of course, it would be a traumatizing experience. He got really close to the king slime.

Also, he probably thought he had lost me. But here I am! Standing proud, tall, and naked!

This must be a rollercoaster of emotions for him.

[Hey man are you alright?]

"Stay away!"

Right, I forgot to say no homo. What a conscientious guy.

I don't really care about that really. If you ask me two grown men hugging each other naked doesn't make them gay at all. Everyone needs affection. Actually, even if they were it wouldn't matter either.

I remember that one guy on social media that was getting lots of hate for saying that doing it with a man doesn't instantly make you gay. Something about there being many potential reasons. Sometimes people want to try it and it's fine.

I truly believe that we need to get rid of these stigmas that plague our society. Well, the old society I have no clue how this one works. But I do have a dream that one day we will be able to tell others nice compliments without being weird and all. I still remember that one friend that got mad when I praised him. What is supposed to be offensive in: nice cock bro!?

Anyway, he seems to be trying to get away from my naked self.

Time to use the speech skill!

[Don't worry about it. The slime is gone. Everything will be alright. It is only you and I now. Do not worry!]

And he starts panicking even more. I'd hug him to console him but he appears shy.

"W-why did you eat the slime?!"

Is this caused by a difference in culture? Slimes are not an endangered species at all here so why can't I eat them? Maybe he's never tried it and it grosses him out.

[It tastes surprisingly good you know.]

He looks at me wide-eyed. I guess his reaction is normal. I probably looked the same when I first stumbled upon people eating insects in chocolate. Actually, my reaction was probably along the lines of GIVE ME CHOCO!

Oh well, can't be helped. People are scared or disgusted about stuff they have never tried somehow. Like anal sex! Yes, I'm still going on about normalizing BL relations IRL. Do I have a hidden agenda? Naw, I just find it funny as hell haha.

[Relax and take a deep breath! Not too big, however, we are in a sewer!]

Right, how the hell does this sewer not smell horrible?! This is something noteworthy. Can you believe it?! I barely can and I'm sitting here.

This begs to question why doesn't everyone here get a domestic cleaning slime of their own?!

This is really a great mystery of life. Greater than what a king slime was doing here in the first place. I'll deal with that one later.

Especially knowing how great of a massage they can give. Perhaps that last one requires divine energy.

Let me see. Possible cons to taming a slime:

1. It is weak as fuck. It will not defend you if robbers try to break in. Chances are it will go *piupiu* and look at them or something. Of course, it could jump on their face like an alien but it probably wouldn't be too effective. Except if you get a few hundred slimes of course.

2. It doesn't have a brain at first glance. Perhaps these are hard to tame because of it. In games, the difficulty of taming a monster is correlated to its level and its attack power. I feel like IRL chances are that the easiest to tame monsters are the relatively intelligent ones but not too smart either. Not smart enough and it will eat you instead of the food that you are offering it. Too smart and it will enslave you.

3. It seems to want to eat everything without distinction. Could you imagine having pristine figurines worth a ton only to have them get eaten by a slime? I can and it is the stuff of a horror story.

Of course, I could be extremely wrong. Perhaps it is a cultural thing. For instance what if slimes are renowned to only live in sewers. Wouldn't having one in your home tell people how trashy you are? This could be similar to how some cultures always use the same hand to eat no matter what because they use the other to wipe their ass.

In this case, it would be a stigma associated with living with a slime. I feel like I am getting deep into the pondering. Then again from time to time elaborating on some random hypothesis is fun.

Hypotheses are fun and all but we should always verify those. Hopefully, he will know.

[Say, why are slimes not used as cleaning pets in people's houses? It seems to me that it could work.]

I can't wait to hear the elaborate explanation as to why …

"Too many people got eaten in their sleep."

Oh god. I was off. Way off. Could you imagine a dog owner getting eaten by his pet? I think it happened already in the case of starving animals and animal abuse.

[But what if the slime is fed daily then it would be fine right?]

"Slimes are always hungry. Always!"

This is scary! Don't tell me slimes are the embodiment of gluttony?!

If that is true there is something I don't understand.

How the hell are these things beginner monsters in all games and stories!?

Why?!

I feel like this is some kind of big conspiracy. Somewhere in the demon realm, some slime demon lord is getting stronger day by day. Making people believe it is weak. Then it will raise an army and conquer then devour the earth realm whole!

Or something I don't know I'm just daydreaming.

*ROAR!!!*

What is that?!

That did not sound like the sound a slime would make!

Whatever is coming sounds angry and scary!